Time flies when you're having fun

The first few weeks of retirement have been strange. I really have not had any time to do anything as random people make requests on me to do things for them, thinking that I must have time to fill.

How wrong would they be. The first activity was to try to get insurance for the car. This is not as straight forward as I would have expected due to the fact that I had been driving a Company car for over twelve years and the no claims position was, therefore, somewhat vague. Add to that that the policy was third party and I would have expected a full discount. No, its not as easy as that, they considered all the cosmetic repairs I got done before buying as an 'incident' for goodness sake.

Then there is the 'convictions'. For goodness sake,  they are minor traffic offences captured by speed camera's and which make the council a fortune. They don't make somebody a high risk driver just because they have 3 points on their license, and why should insurers count them for five years, when they stay on the license for only three. Somebody is having a giraffe!

I have also read somewhere that they are now going to use the defensive driving course against you in future insurance renewals despite the fact that the police indicate they will not affect your car insurance, when offering them as an option!

Next thing is to sort out new bank accounts and other financial requirements. I did like the look of the Santander 123 account so we have started the ball rolling there. That was complicated by the Council renaming our house from 19 to 21. Proving they are the same property has stretched us too.

Investment rates are also a bit pants, with rates around 3% rapidly being withdrawn. One from Intelligent Finance which is 2.47% came with a note saying it was going down to 1.8% in February. Really not worth the trouble.

I am still working on the Job Seekers allowance  but not holding out too much hope, and may have to wedge up with Zopa to get any sort of investment return In the foreseeable future.

Then there is always the ironing, cooking and cleaning to fill in the spare time!!

On the dole

The things one gets to do as a result of being made redundant. Today I spent a few hours in the Birkenhead JobCentre+ offices trying to see what benefits I could get for providing the government of the day with national insurance contributions for the best part of 40 years.

The answer I got was that they don't know!

Initially I filled the online form relating to job seekers allowance in incorrectly, but only, they informed me, to the detriment of myself. That was very considerate of them, so I did not feel hugely frustrated to then fill out the equivalent hardcopy, or some of it.

I should have filled it in as a contribution based claim whereas I had filled it in as an income based claim. With SWMBO working, I was never going to pass that. The first six months contribution based benefits I was told are not means tested.

So the claim was assessed by my new mate Samantha who guided me through the process until she saw that I was already drawing a pension. This was the next problem they indicated I would face when the form went to head office ( well the DWP). They may deem my pension sufficient and consequently exclude me from contribution based job seekers allowance. So when they say it's not means tested, actually it is.

Next problem I faced was the fact that I was out of the Country next week on vacation. They can't pay job seekers allowance while I am not available for work, so, wait for it, the claim will need to be shut down on Sunday and I will have to reapply when I return to the UK, via a rapid reclaim process.

So, getting the allowance may or may not happen, and I should know by the end of the month. If it does, then the hoops I have to jump through are quite extensive. I have to visit the gov.uk website every day looking for opportunities, and write to at least one employer a week. I have to be willing to travel 90 minutes each way to work, and search commercial websites for at least 2 hours a day. Every two weeks I have to go back to the job centre to assess my progress, and sign on.

In one sense I hope they say I can't have it!!!

Mud hut medicine

SWMBO has the sound of Swahili about it don't you think?

You may be wondering that is a strange phase with which to open a blog post, however, when you appreciate that SWMBO has just returned from two weeks in Tanzania working for the relief organisation, Bridge2Aid, you will begin to see the relevance.

Twenty two dentists and support staff left London  on a torturous journey to Mwanza via Dar Es Salaam. There they stayed in a very pleasant hotel on the banks of Lake Victoria, much like the contestants do before entering the campsite on I'm a Celebrity. The next morning it was off in a truck for three hours to Gita which was to be their home for the next ten days.

Each morning they would get bused to their place of work, and there supervise the extraction of teeth from Tanzanian residents, be they business people, Masi tribesmen or villagers, some of whom had travelled on foot, over 100 kilometres to see the white doctor.

Poverty was endemic, and with Tanzania being one of the poorest African nations, the chances of regular dental treatment rest with the Bridge2 Aid teams providing not only a service, but on the job training for the nationals. Over 800 people were treated while the team was there, all under local anesthetic, on a dining room chair in a mud hut. Some dedication.

The hotel ran out of toilet paper, the power failed regularly and the water supply was intermittent, but the job got done and the volunteers were able to face the return trip, via Kilimanjaro in good spirits knowing that treacle toffee was back on the menu in Tanzania.

IBM....eh

I started this blog a few years ago to track my house selling process, and my move up to Scouserland. Today the blog takes on a whole new life, as indeed do I.

Tuesday 6th November is the first day of my non-working life as I formally retire from full time employment. My pension cheque landed in my bank account, I have bought a car and booked a holiday. What more else is there to do?

Well, I think I should document the past 40 years (almost) that I have been working for IBM in the UK.

I got kicked out of college in March 1973. It was one of those Polytechnic places which the labour government were quick to change into new age universities. Ted Heath was Prime Minister, and the World Trade Centre in New York was officially opened. Watergate spelt the end of President Nixon in the USA.  After hunting around for a while, I was offered a job with IBM and started on 23rd March. the next day Pink Floyd released Dark Side of the Moon. I was hoping to stay with IBM until 24th March 2013 to get my 40 years in, but unfortunately they had other plans so here I am in leisure land.

So what did I do, and where?  I started in the Croydon location as a computer operator, a job I would not get today unless I had 11 A* at GCSE, 4 A's or better at A level, and a 2.1 degree in anything other than Information Technology!! So for me with my 6 'O' levels and two grade E A levels it was a case of right place right time. Indeed had I graduated in 1975 it is likely I would have struggled to get a job in the computer industry, and with Maggie Thatcher becoming Prime Minister the whole environment was about to be a whole lot tougher. A fellow operator, referred to only as 'Figs' to protect his identity,  is still a regular drinking mate as is his wife Marian who was also a Croydonian.

Anyway, I pushed on through the ranks as an operator and with another great friend of mine, Mike McBride, we became the pioneers of problem and change management systems and subsequently were at the forefront of service management and ITIL evolution, something which today is a seriously recognised IT qualification.

I then moved to Sudbury Towers to become a lecturer in service management operations and disaster recovery planning, and still have my PA Joyce as a chum to this day. I remember going to her 21st birthday party in The Rising Sun, and she and I went to Hyde Park the night before Charles and Di got married, for the free pop concert.

I then moved to the City of London and Basinghall Street where I was a systems engineering specialist, wow! I transferred with the job when it moved to the spanking new South Bank building next to the Festival Hall  in 1985.

It was soon after that that I had the type of move everybody can only dream of. I moved into the Chiswick office, right across the road from where I lived. Oh, the joy of running home to get the washing in when it started to rain!!

When Chiswick closed the staff were moved to Bedfont Lakes, another new location. Michael Heseltine opened it 1995. I remember being there the evening they filmed a scene from Tomorrow Never Dies. I, however went on to manage a group of UNIX nutters in Welwyn Garden City for a number of years, a job I was offered on the beach in Lisbon. If we had only had the vision, E-Bay, Lastminute and Expedia could have all been ours. Trouble was they were so focused on being techie's, growing their beards and comparing sandals, that the opportunity was lost.  They were good times in Welwyn, and I must have done something right as one day I was summons to Bedfont.

That summons resulted in a chance to manage the systems management consulting group, a group which included some of the sharpest minds in the Country, and who almost without fail, enjoyed a drink. They have elevated themselves to the high points of the Company, and many remain in regular contact. Our Manchester Christmas party is still one of the highlights of the year.

At the beginning of the 2000's IBM started to rationalise its real estate portfolio, and diminish the community spirit office work generated. I was luck enough, however,  to be posted to Knutsford near Manchester, now as a project manager, for a three year project which maintained that community spirit for a bit longer, and also qualified me for the Global Golden Circle award in 2001, an award which took me and SWMBO to Bali for a few days on the Company. That was a real experience.

That project followed on from a stint working for Logica on IBM's behalf and saw me work on-site at GCHQ for 18 months. Other projects took me to Saudi, Turkey and Brazil during a time when it was becoming evident that IBM and I had run our course. That feeling was cemented when a project in Scotland , involving travel to Chicago, went  a bit pear shaped and saw me relieved of duties earlier than planned.

I did manage to find a role in the business recovery division at Samspon House, back on South Bank, which got me to where I am today, the irony being that the business director was one of the team I recruited all those years ago in Bedfont Lakes. He did me a good deal and allowed for an honourable exit. After nearly 40 years one would hope for nothing less, but times change and some of my colleagues have not been treated with the dignity they deserved, when they were shown the door.

Undoubtedly the first ten years were the best, parties, after shift booze-up's, 5am tee off times on the golf course after night shift, page 3 girl's and the Youngs 135 Club. The next twenty years can tell a few stories too. Family dinners were riotous, the Christmas dinners were legendary and the work was pretty good too. As for the last ten years, well best forgotten really, after Bali it all went down hill. Remote working, travel restrictions, expense clampdowns and the pension debacle have all lead to the Company being absorbed into the pack. When I first joined it was the leader, and by some way.

Welsh rarebit

I am not sure what overcame me last weekend, but on Thursday evening I found myself in Newport, Gwent,  as part of a golf party. I guess the need for a few rounds overcame the lifelong aversion to Wales and all things Welsh, family members and long term friends excluded.

So there we were, twelve of us, staying at the Celtic Manor resort, preparing to contest the Dai Pedro golf championship on the greens of the Montgomerie and Roman Road courses, before sliding back into England to finish the contest at the Players Club near Bristol.

Things started off fairly sensibly the first evening, with a few gallons of Brains SA and a nosh in a Beefeater restaurant, followed by a trip into the centre of Newport to visit a Lloyds Bar. This one used to be the Queens Hotel and was probably a magnificent place in its day. On a Thursday night in Newport, it was virtually empty , and a fairly soulless place. Still there was golf in the morning so the hangover damage was limited.

Friday dawned bright and clear so we wandered onto the first tee wanting to see just what the  courses had to offer. It soon became apparent that  the drainage systems were just not up to the job of clearing the amount of water which had fallen recently, and that was strange, as Celtic Manor commands a position high on the hills overlooking the town. Sadly that had an effect on the day, and the scoring was high as a result. Still there was always the night in Cardiff to look forward to!!!

Cardiff has re-invented itself recently with pedestrian areas, restaurants and new plush bars, and this did seem to attract a fine selection of ladies out onto the street. There were very few fights, with limited ,but spectacular, examples of projectile vomiting remain the stand out memories, it put the Welsh lads to shame.

After more golf on Saturday, we donned our fancy dress attire to hit the town in. This year it was Pub Signs' and followed on from our previous attempts at famous Englishmen, and countries of the World. My effort as The Kings Arms was not very well received so I was forced to be a duplicate of the Blue Blazer, a famous drinking establishment in Edinburgh.  Given Newport is the most common place name in the British Isles, I was disappointed nobody went as the Red lion, the most popular pub name.

The evening was highlighted by the twelve of us taking over a gourmet curry house and turning it into a typical Saturday night East End tandoori. The clientele and owners all took it in good spirits and a boozy time was had by all.

Now back to Celtic Manor. It was the venue of the 2010 Ryder Cup, which people may remember  ran over into the Monday due to the terrible weather on Sunday. UK and Ireland triumphed there as they did recently at Medina in Illinois. It was played on the 2010 course which we did not play this year as it was considerably more expensive and lay at the bottom of the valley.

Celtic Manor has aspirations to be the Turnberry of  Wales but from our experience, it has little hope of being able to emulate that venue. The courses are well laid  out although very similar to those found in Portugal and Spain. The weather is a major inhibitor and the surrounding area does not offer too much of a distraction. Still, you need to try these places to find out whether they are worth a repeat visit. It is really a glorified municipal pay and play, so I won't be putting this one on my returns list. 

Oh, yes, I came third and The Count  and I won the pairs competition, the third year running he has won, each time with a different partner, and it went down to the last putt on the last green on the last day.

Windjammer Landing

I was reminded that today is the 25th anniversary of the 1987 hurricane that hit South East England during that particular evening.
I lived in Chiswick in West London at the time, and was fortunate enough to work in the office over the road. I was often to be seen rushing over the road at the slightest hint of rain, to get my washing in from the line. I was also fortunate enough to go home for lunch when the fancy took me and on some occasions I would be accompanied. Those were the days.

On the night of the hurricane, I have no recollection of the famous weather forecast presented by Michael Fish when he assured everybody there would only be strong winds and it would be nothing to worry about. I sleep through most things, although I do recall waking in the night to the rattle of the window in the bedroom.

For some reason I was sleeping in the spare room that night. Now whether that was because I was decorating I really cannot recall, but when the alarm went off, and the radio came on I do remember the radio announcer saying there was wide spread devastation over South East England. I got washed and dressed and then looked out of the window to see somebody else's shed roof in the garden, and a couple of fences down further up the road, but it was not until i got outside that I saw there had, indeed, been some stormy weather.

One tree down the road was leaning against the front of a house, and there were branches and boughs strewn all over the place. Car bonnets had been caved in, and tiles lay all over the road. I was lucky to avoid any property damage and after a brief inspection I walked over the road to work.

This is where the fun started. 'How did you get here?' asked the security guard. 'I don't know how I am going to get home , or when' he said, as it was apparent already that his relief was marooned at home.
Two or three other people who lived local made it in over the next hour or so, and we spent the rest of the day listening to tales of woe from people who had been badly affected or stranded away from home.

Two stories stick in my head. The first involved a work colleague who left addington near Croydon at 6am to drive to our office in Warwick. He drove around a fallen tree at the end of his road but thought nothing of it. He arrived in Warwick at 08:30 to be greeted by incredulity from his work colleagues that he had arrived there at all. He was totally unaware of what had happened. It took him nine hours to drive home that evening.

The second concerned the cross channel ferry chaos. A friend of mine was on a Calais to Dover ship which was diverted to Folkstone as they could not navigate the harbour entrance at Dover. They arrived outside Folkstone to see another ship already tied to the quay and unloading. There was a queue of ambulances waiting to ferry the injured to hospital as people were flying across the decks with the size of the swell, breaking limbs and knocking themselves out.

Eventually the ship finished unloading, and she was then cut from her moorings and allowed to drift away from the quay, that being the only way they could quickly free up the space for my friends ship to dock. Apparently they could not unload any cars from either ferry as they too had been tossed around in the hold, and blocked the exit ramps. Ouch!

It's a bit breezy here on the Wirral today, but nothing has compared since. 25 years eh!, a lot has happened in that time.

Dip stick

I had my mobile telephone stolen last night. It was taken from my jacket pocket as I took wine with a number of friends in a bar near Liverpool Street station in London. Liverpool Street is one of the four stations on the Monopoly board. On the bespoke board I have at home, the stations have been replaced by bars, so there is some sort of symmetry here.

My jacket was hanging over the back of my chair, and early in the evening I had used it to text one of my daughters. The perpetrator must have seen me place it back in my blazer pocket, and dipped me sometime later as he or she was leaving. The ease of the crime was increased by the fact that I was sitting on a bar stool type chair, which made the pocket more accessible without any need for an average height person to bend down.

It's only a phone, and I was not mugged for it, so its no big deal really. It's just the fag of having to recreate all the records and reload the apps and synchronise the diary entries that really bug me. It took me over an hour today just to go through the crime report and the insurance claim to allow another phone to be sent out to me. The joy of recreation starts on Friday, wish me luck

If I had been smarter at the time ( it was late and as already mentioned, alcohol was involved) I could have logged into my laptop and done a GPS search for the phone and tried to track it down. There is a facility on the Windows phone home page to do just that. It would have been a bit 'Jennings and Derbyshire'.

As it is, I am now phoneless and will face the four hour drive back to Scouse without the urge to phone anybody and tell them I am still on the M6......the car does have a link to the BMW control centre though, I could always ring them up for a chat I suppose!!!