Caught on the boundary

Our trip to Barbados is nearing the end. We have tried to pack too much into the week really as a relaxing vacation and four rounds of medal golf are mutually exclusive!

The Tamarind hotel has been fine. It's on the Platinum coast at Payne's Bay and has received good reports from SWMBO. That is what I had hoped, as my first choice, Discovery Bay, had her complaining about all the poor TripAdvisor comments. I changed without telling her and she is still none the wiser and is now less likely to take TripAdvisor as gospel! She doesn't  follow this bog so it's just our little secret readers!

We have had a few new restaurants to try out. The Cliff beach club was at the high end and was very enjoyable experience. Starlets and Zuccio were good as was the food in Cariba, it just lacked any atmosphere. Finally a mention to the Sea Cat, a rum shack type fish restaurant which was very good and reasonably priced.

The weather has been great, and better than expected which was ideal for the golf. Four rounds of medal golf is the game the pro's play every week, but for mid handicap players it is tough and unforgiving.

I started with two rounds of 92 at the Barbados golf club and Royal Westmoreland which after handicap was 2 x 78. I lost five balls which cost me 10 shots and had me mid- table in my handicap flight, 14 off the lead. The pro's always call Saturday moving day as it proved to be for me. I hit an 84, net 70 around Apes Hill, to put me one off the lead going into Sunday.

It was probably my greatest ever competitive round of golf culminating with a birdie 4 on the last hole and a gross 39 for the last nine holes. I was actually 4 over par for the final 10 holes. I was drained at the end of it, but had had great encouragement from my playing partners,  Duncan, Jessie and Diaz. They all appreciated how much it meant to me.

Sunday arrived and I quickly learnt how golf can gain revenge. I was in the last group out. We had caddies and I had no friends. I did not realise how exhausted I was from the previous day, so after hanging in there for four holes, a 12 at the next put me out of contention and contributed to a 'no return'. As it happened somebody came out of the pack with a net 64 to win it. I had my moment of glory thouh so now need to translate the form into some solid Summer golf. It's Walton Heath in Surrey on Friday and a  big Virgin Atlantic Knock Out at Wallasey next week.

I will post some pictures from the presentation night with Sir Gary Sobers tomorrow.

To finish on a lighter note, I am having the house painted while we are away, SWMBO doesn't know about that either. I hope Argyle green is to her liking!!

Alphabet soup

I was taken by this amusing article by Oliver Pritchett in a recent Daily Telegraph post. Clearly the positively correct police have missed a trick here.

Something must be done about the international alphabet: the one that goes Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, and so on. It is disgracefully inappropriate and it perpetuates sexism every time it is used – by airline pilots, mini-cab despatchers and people at call centres trying to spell your name.

It is totally unacceptable that this alphabet features only one female name, Juliet, woefully outnumbered by Charlie, Mike, Oscar, Romeo and Victor. If that is not bad enough, there’s the blatantly paternalistic Papa.

It’s significant, of course, that Foxtrot and Tango are two dances in which, traditionally, a man takes the lead. Then there’s Golf, a male-dominated sport and one that must fail most inclusivity tests.

I am also unhappy about Alpha and Delta, as they are likely to make people feel excluded if they weren’t fortunate enough to study Greek at school. Alpha may also suggest “alpha male,” of course, while Bravo smacks of un-called for triumphalism. Uniform, meanwhile, has a whiff of distasteful militarism.

Roger that!

The alphabet is also in the news now that the Royal Mint has produced a new set of ten pence coins featuring on each one a letter depicting the best of British. The selected items are as follows:

Each letter represents iconic things or place in Britain

• A – Angel of the North
• B – Bond…James Bond
• C – Cricket
• D – Double Decker Bus
• E – English Breakfast
• F – Fish & Chips
• G – Greenwich Mean Time
• H – Houses of Parliament
• I – Ice-Cream Cone
• J – Jubilee
• K – King Arthur
• L – Loch Ness Monster
• M – Mackintosh
• N – National Health Service
• O – Oak Tree
• P – Post Box
• Q – Queuing
• R – Robin
• S – Stonehenge
• T – Teapot
• U – Union Flag
• V – Village
• W – World Wide Web
• X – X Marks the Spot
• Y – Yeoman
• Z – Zebra Crossing

It's as easy as ABC

Ground control to Major Tom

A first is chalked up by the blog as I publish one from outer space. Well, 35000 ft in reality from the bubble on a Virgin Atlantic jumbo. We have exit seats to boot so even the premier economy passengers are looking enviously at us.

We are returning this year for the Sir Gary Sobers festival of golf, as I try to improve on my mid-table finish last year. Gordon Greenidge, the West Indian opening bat is in my handicap category so there is an incentive to do well.

I have watched Paddington 2, the movie, on the plane and was interested that they used the Kilmainham jail as the backdrop to his incarceration. It also featured in the original Italian Job, and we did the tour when we were in Dublin for the rugger some years ago.

We are staying on the West coast this year to save time on the golf course transfers. Forest round is Thursday and there is rain forecast. Just like home.

OAP

Wow, March has just flown by. It started with an almost significant birthday as I reached the ripe old age of 65. I only celebrate when the year ends in zero, but I was coerced into a family do, as much because the grandkids like to blow out the candles.

So, we all sat down in The Refreshment Rooms for a Sunday lunch as luckily my birthday fell on a Sunday. We all had a good time, everybody enjoyed themselves and I am a year older. Tim came up for a few days from London sans children so we were able to have a few drinks as well which was good.

I applied for my pension to the DWP as you are asked to, but nothing has arrived, so I had to call them. They told me some applications had gone missing at about the time I applied. Lucky I rang really as they clearly have no check and balance for these sort of eventualities. The pension is paid in arrears, so I should get it as expected in a day or two.

March has also provided a couple of Six Nations rugby games. We travelled to Paris to see England fail to beat France, and we were at Twickenham for the anti-climatic end game against Ireland. In both cases the matches were the low point of the weekend . We stayed at The Farmers Club in Covent Garden as way of a change for the Ireland game and it was good to escape Twickenham after the match and enjoy a few drinks elsewhere.

Unfortunately we had two Chinese meals, which, coupled with the birthday celebration and a trip to Paris has stalled my weight loss campaign...couple of pounds added on this month!!

The beginning of the golf season has also stalled due to the bad weather, so my scramble to get six qualifying cards into the Virgin Atlantic golf competition and win a goodie bad, has been delayed somewhat.
Hopefully I can get it all done by Monday. There is a trip to Vegas as the prize for the best golfers this season so I must use the golf lesson presents I got wisely!!

Easter has now come and gone. It was a quiet one this year, with a bit of gardening and jovial evenings out to crown a pretty good month.

I have embraced Twitter now so you can follow me here if you want to, although at the moment its not too interesting!!
Just click on the Twitter follow button top right and after that I don't know what happens!!

100000

After a very alcoholic two days, Maxine and I have booked into The Priory. It's not all it sounds though. Our eldest, Tim, came up from London to help me celebrate my 65th birthday yesterday, so we had a few on Saturday night and carried on through yesterday afternoon and evening. We embraced the Refreshment Rooms for a spot of lunch to break it all up. It was a very enjoyable day, Becky made a fab cake modelled like a golf course which got finished off this morning at the golf club.
Number 2 son, Kieran, joined us later in the pub having been to London to run the BigHalf with Mo Farah and co. He did a commendable time of 1hour 44 minutes and had a very aesthetic medal to show for his efforts. Tim went back this morning so next challenge was a wedding in Inverness in late December!!

That's where the Priory came in. The wedding is on 27th December in Achnegairn Castle for which the wedding party has exclusive use for a couple of nights. We would like to stay a bit longer hence the need to find an alternative hotel. That's sorted now so on to next challenge which is to find somewhere near Perth to stay Boxing Day night. Don't you love weddings.

With all this inclement weather around if it hits Inverness in December there may not be a wedding.

We had drama this week as one of our overflow pipes froze and we had a second swimming pool appear on the kitchen floor. Luckily we are blessed with an excellent plumber so the damage was contained in the end to a bit of water staining to the ceiling. Still some repairs to make to the water tank but they should be fairly routine. What was not funny was trying to de-ice the pipes at 11o'clock at night!!

This entry signals the end of another month of diet change. I managed to weigh in at under 100kg this time which in old money is 15st 9lbs, a weight which I have not been for a long time. SWMBO informs me that I was 14st 8lbs when I met her in 2001. I know I was 12st 8lbs when I left school. Getting under 15st will suit me, although I am already starting to look a bit scrawny so just need to do things gradually.

Another significant milestone was achieved this morning as the car ticked over to 100000 miles. It is probably the first car I have had that has reached that milestone from new. It was born in 2009 so its only 12000 miles a year which is below average. Hopefully it's got a few more years left in it. It needs a service soon so lets see what the garage think about it all.

So on we go now to March, a month of rugby matches, golf dinners and the odd bit of exercise. I will be please to see no weight gain when next I venture onto the scales!

Is there life on Mars?

I wonder if David Bowie had the answer? I hope there is as I might need somewhere else to live soon. This Country is going sterile!

Would you rather be rescued by a hairy arsed male fire fighter or a buxom female fire fighter. Now there you are I am already trapped in the world of political correctness, and to a lesser extent, positive discrimination.

A fireman is now a fire fighter, a linesman is now an assistant referee and a policeman is now a police officer.  Chairman is shortened to Chair, a postman has become a postal worker and a sex worker is the new name for a prostitute, or hooker.

That leads me seamlessly onto The President's Club gentlemen's evening at The Dorchester Hotel.  As a result of a Financial Times reporter attending as an undercover hostess ( no pun intended) the event has been portrayed as a debauched and lewd occasion with the emphasis on the exploitation of the waitresses and hostess by rich and privileged male attendees. The President's Club has subsequently shut itself down and will be holding enquiries in the behaviour of it's members.

I am perplexed as to why the FT should suddenly want to model itself on the exploits of Fiona Richmond and her colleague in Men Only, who were always following up a juicy sex story before ending their reports as they got to the nitty gritty,  with  'I then made my apologies and left', leaving the reader to only imagine what might have happened next.

I am also surprised that after 33 years, this event has been given the focus it has. I suspect the waitresses were paid much more than the minimum wage to be there, at least £150 being reported. The number of them involved indicates that many will have waited on at the event before, and no previous complaints of sexual harassment, or improper behaviour, have hit the press. Why suddenly now has it all come to a head.

Close on the heels of this expose, World darts announced it would stop having walk-on girls making an entrance with the darts players, and there are calls for boxing to stop using scantily clad girls to parade the board in the ring between rounds.  Do these initiatives spell the end of the road for the Tiller Girls, the Folies Belgere or the Roxettes.

I do fear for this antiseptic society where every kid is portrayed as being a winner, even when they come last, where the male v female divide is fast becoming blurred or optional. Are we really teaching sex change education to teenage children. Alpha males need to let off steam,  be that as part of sports teams, in tough muder challenges or at gentlemen's smoking evenings, to use an old fashioned description. Girls, women, ladies all need to understand that. They, themselves,  now play rugby, football and cricket  in numbers well in excess of those of their parents and participate in their own kind of horseplay afterwards. They have hen nights attended by buff butlers. Good luck to them.

All I wish is a  bit of common sense in the modern world, and some pushback at the vocal minorities who hate to see people enjoying themselves in a way they don't approve of, or using old fashioned language in the way it was designed.

It's not rocket science, but if it is, then can I go to Mars please?

You've lost two pounds?

I won't tell you the punch line from the Peter Kay joke above, but suffice to say that SWMBO and I are trying to lose some weight. 'Are you on a diet?' people say, and it just once again illustrates problems with basic language.

Yes, we are on a diet, but we are always on a diet, and so is the rest of the population. All we have done is modify our existing diet, so it becomes a new diet. Diet, though, seems to be associated with a radical change of eating habits, which is not always the case.

That said, I have not had a pie, chips, cakes, sweets or chocolate now for a month. We have removed white bread and pasta form our diet ( see what I mean) and are eating more fruit, drinking more fresh juices and have cut down our alcohol consumption.

Will it work? Well weighing day is just round the corner and the first time usually indicates some weight loss as the excess fluid is the first thing to go. February and March will be a bit of a tester with rugby trips and such like scheduled, so time will tell.

While I am on my language hobby horse, 'the player has pace' is another expression which annoys me. We all have pace, just some people have a quick pace and others a slow pace. 'The player is quick' or  ' he shows a good turn of speed' better describe what people are trying to say.

Whatever you do, don't get me onto 'simplistic' when 'simple' will do, or.........

I think I need a lie down!