The pretentious 'The'

Playing Warrington, oh sorry, The Warrington golf club at the weekend got my blood boiling again much as it did when I played The Wilmslow golf club.It is such a pretentious addition and in most cases unnecessary. 

This is the definition of the word:

definite article

(used, especially before a noun, with a specifying or particularizing effect, as opposed to the indefinite or generalizing force of the indefinite article a or an): the book you gave me; Come into the house.

(used to mark a proper noun, natural phenomenon, ship, building, time, point of the compass, branch of endeavor, or field of study as something well-known or unique): the sun; the Alps; the Queen Elizabeth; the past; the West.

(used with or as part of a title): the Duke of Wellington; the Reverend John Smith.

(used to mark a noun as indicating the best-known, most approved, most important, most satisfying, etc.): the skiing centre of the U.S.; If you're going to work hard, now is the time.

(used to mark a noun as being used generically): The dog is a quadruped.

(used in place of a possessive pronoun, to note a part of the body or a personal belonging): He won't be able to play football until the leg mends.

(used before adjectives that are used substantively, to note an individual, a class or number of individuals, or an abstract idea): to visit the sick; from the sublime to the ridiculous.

(used before a modifying adjective to specify or limit its modifying effect): He took the wrong road and drove miles out of his way.

(used to indicate one particular decade of a lifetime or of a century): the sixties; the Gay Nineties.

(one of many of a class or type, as of a manufactured item, as opposed to an individual one): Did you listen to the radio last night? 

 

So now you have got that, there will be a debate about why The Lensbury Club and not Lensbury? Well the difference is the multifunctional characteristics in my view. Warrington golf club is fine, The Warrington Club is fine, but The Warrington golf club uses the definitive article unnecessarily. The Belfry does not bill itself as The Belfry golf club and nor does the Northern Club.

 

Is it a Cheshire thing, I don't know, but I do find it a bit irritating. Rant over 

 

Sticky wicket

Before my golf fest started, SWMBO and I made our annual trip to Lords for the first test against New Zealand. It was a while since we had been there, and also a while since we stayed at the Lensbury Club.

First though the cricket. after a leisurely breakfast we set off for Lords. it does take a while from Teddington but we thought 11:30 was a reasonable time to arrive as we passed through the turnstiles. Imagine our shock then as we saw New Zealand were 12-3. Luckily more wickets followed as they were bowled out and England came out to bat.

We took a lunchtime stroll down St Johns Wood High Street,paying. particular attention to the charity shops, before rejoining the game.At this point we became aware of the large amount of alcohol the group in front were consuming and were just waiting for one of the girls in particular to stand up and promptly fall over!!

England only lost one wicket before tea and with Crawley in control we anticipated a final session devoid of drama, allowing us to depart early to our pre-booked dinner appointment. Joe Root came in and knocked a couple of 4's and with the score on 82-2 we made our excuses and left.

Our very pleasant evening at the Duke of Sussex in Waterloo was then shattered as I spotted a headline      ' England collapse again' and yes we missed a further 5 wickets at the end of the day.

So back to the Lensbury before home the next day for a 75th birthday party. The Lensbury is now a regular hotel which anybody can book into and like everywhere, they are suffering staff shortages. The clientele is different with the parents less likely to control their children than previously was the case. The hash browns at breakfast were pretty poor as well.

They seem to be fairing marginally better than the Anglers next door as we waited 35 minutes to be served there on the Wednesday night, and for a Fullers pub to not have any London Pride was just bang out of order.

Anyway, we are back on the horse so to speak and with a couple of rugby tickets for the New Zealand game in November, I can see if things have improved.    

Le Golf

People said this golf business would get easier once the captaincy was handed over, but that does not seem the case to me. I am into a run of nine games in 9 days at the moment, although I have to say the first three were of my own making.

A traditional match featuring teachers from the UK against an assorted team of French gentlemen has been going on for some time, and I was asked to take the number 12 shirt at the weekend. We played at The Vale of Llangollen on Saturday with the England team winning 2-1, then on to Wallasey where the lead was increased to 4-2 before the final singles matches at Warrington, sorry, The Warrington golf club. There, in a tense battle, the French won the day 3 1/2 - 2 1/2 but overall victory was that of England by one point.

My match was particularly tense and unknowingly, key to victory. I was 4 up with 4 to play but only 1 up on the 18th. My laser straight drive took a wicked bounce into a fairway bunker and my recovery only left me in another, 135 yards from the green. In the meantime my partner was way left but safe in two. I hit a worldie hybrid onto the green which put pressure on my opponent who failed to deliver and after a lagged first putt we shook hands and the cup was secure.

It was a great three days and should see me on the plane to France next year tres bien. 

Room with a view

 Goodness me April has just flown by following the return from Augusta. Round 4 there was spoilt a bit by the storms which had hit earlier in the week, and the course was really quite slippy. I was surprised that it was open given the American approach to litigation and so on, but they must have had so many overseas visitors booked that they took the risk. Of the four courses it was the most disappointing, but that's not to say it was not a decent layout, it was just not shown off to its best.

At least our trip home was less stressed than going out although the trip from the car hire drop off to the terminal building was a bit hairy. we made the flight and that was what mattered most.

The months was peppered with bad and sad news, as first my long term golf partner George Stephenson, had a heart attack and at 87 years old one is never quite sure how he is going to be after recovery. I am delighted to say though that he has recovered and started to play 18 holes again, albeit less frequently. His resolve is a true inspiration to everyone, particularly someone like me who can get so down when the golf is rubbish. At the moment I think I left my game in the States but after comparison with the situation George was in, I now know I brought it back with me, I just need to find where I put it!!

The sad news came some days later when we learnt that our good friend Marion Figgins passed away suddenly but not unexpectedly. She had been mourning the loss of her husband 'Figs' since he left us a few years ago, and she was struggling to live without him. Her funeral is next week so we shall be attending that. They are the first husband and wife friends we have lost so that leaves a big gap in our lives and those of their other friends too.

Socially number 2 son and I went to Wigan to watch Argyle try for a play-off spot. They got a valuable point there but failed to finish the season off well, due mostly to injuries which left the squad running on empty. I then hit Manchester and the Ivy restaurant with a group of ex-work colleagues. The views from the rooftop restaurants are pretty impressive.

Then on Sunday the local village had its annual gardens open day, and on this occasion we were able to climb to the top of the bell tower for St Saviors church where we had the classic ' I can see your house from here' moment. The climb up and down the 99 stairs was not the best therapy for my arthritic knee though. Roll on August when I will be able to see a consultant!!

Other good news on the housing front came toward the end of the month when number 1 son confirmed he had completed on his house in France which is great news. He is between jobs at the moment so once that challenge is sorted out he should be well placed to enjoy his new environment.

So as we move into May, SWMBO is off and running with the Summer invigilator season, I have managed to progress to the 2nd round of two golf knock-out competitions, a rare achievement these days, and golf days are starting to occur at shorter intervals. We need to book a holiday togther so we have something else to look forward to, but we are struggling to know where to go but I am sure we will come to a decision shortly..

It's tough at the top.

Not a leg to stand on

 Our second practise day at Augusta was cut short today as a storm hit Georgia and the Carolina's The hooter went off at about 11:30 so limiting play. We had anticipated the problem and booked out of our hotel in Columbia this morning. 

Talking of Hooters, John Daly was in residence in the Augusta branch for the week. For those unaware of the brand, Hooters is a slang word for ladies decolletage and the  waitresses have fine examples. The brand is a bit seedy these days but interestingly they have recently been given permission to open their second UK branch in Liverpool.

There is also a 2700 yard restriction on ticket touts, or scalpers, as they are called in the States from the golf course. Hooters was just outside the limit.

We are now in downtown Athens which is much better positioned for our final golf by experience tomorrow. To get here though we drove through the heart of the storm which was pretty severe.

In our limited time on the course we saw most of the box office names on the driving range including McIlroy, Tiger Woods , Westwood, Justin Thomas and Fitzpatrick. I also got to chat to Justin Rose,s caddie, David Clarke and hear all was good in his world. 

Tiger seemed to be hitting it pretty well so we will see if he gets to play as it will be walking which wil be tough for him for the four days.

A visit to The Blind Pig in Athens has finished off the day.

Out of the Woods

 A very early start got us to Augusta National golf club at about 8:30 in the morning. The first priority then being to empty my wallet in the merchandise shop. 

A fishing chair (no arms allowed) was the first priority. Then with the weather forecast tomorrow, a brolly would come in useful. After that it was bits and bobs for people who asked and a half zip to for me. Masters green of course.

Then it was to the course where we set up our chairs on 13 before walking up 18 to see where Sandy Lyle made his miracle bunker shot to win in 1988. Next we hit the practise green and driving range where most of the big names were honing their game. David Clarke was on the bag of Justin Rose. David and I used to play 3rd and 4th team for Twickenham RFC in the day.

We then met Derek Lawrenson , the Daily Mail golf correspondent, and Wallasey member who warned us Tiger would be on the course at about 2pm. We dropped in to the 16th where it is traditional for players to try to skim their ball across the lake onto the green. Bit of a mixed bag but lots of crowd participation. Interestingly John Rahm got a hole in one with his skim last year.

After seeing a few Europeans including Rory McIlroy, we avoided the Tiger Woods show to return back to the hotel.

So what to make of it? Well it is a huge money making operation for Augusta National. Everything is geared to making it easy to part with your money quickly. The course and the general real estate is immaculate but the layout of the course makes it difficult to follow players around it.

Couple that with the fact there were very few players out there to watch  then day 1 was a bit disappointing. The weather forecast tomorrow is not good but we will see how things are in the morning.

In the meantime there is some Southern fried cooking to enjoy. Grits anybody?

Reserve Course

 I am well used to taking the number 12 shirt on golf tours so I thought the Reserve Club in Aitken would be right up my street. Sadly that was not the case s I suffered my third defeat out of three.

The course was well set up with lightening fast greens and the fairways were bordered by houses and condo's for the most part. My poor golf was consistent with my poor days at home and the frustration is becoming a bit of a problem for me. Hey ho, there is now time to focus on the Masters for a couple of days before my last chance of victory on Wednesday.

Tex Mex was the order of the day food wise where I was faced with a steiner of beer to go with my chimichanga.

All was good and thanks to the hotel shuttle for the return trip. Still not found any new golf shoes so the money can go on a bit of Augusta memorabilia tomorrow.