The Malthusian Theory

With new cases of Coronavirus springing up in Wohan, conspiracy theories once more abound. One such is The Malthusian Theory of Population, a theory of exponential population growth and arithmetic food supply growth. Thomas Robert Malthus, an English cleric and scholar, published this theory in his 1798 writings, An Essay on the Principle of Population.
Malthus believed that through preventative checks and positive checks, the population would be controlled to balance the food supply with the population level. These checks would lead to the Malthusian catastrophe.

So, as the population grows at a faster rate than the food chain can sustain it, nature takes a hand mand every 100 or so years it provides some sort of challenge for civilisation to redress itself. We can think of Spanish flu as such an intervention, but given two major World Wars in the 1900's reduced the population somewhat, no other intervention was required until now. Interestingly the Coronavirus outbreak has been triggered by events in China, the most populous country in the World. So, is there value in such a theory or is it just co-incidental?

His catastrophe is linked to improved food production processes which mean the population thrives and by doing so needs more and more land to build on, so restricting the food supply chain on whose land the housing is built. Result, famine and disease. So there is food for thought, read his article, and the many comments which disprove it.

Golf starts up again tomorrow I must remember when my partner is teeing off, to stay alert!!!   Fore!

Damn United

Today Corid-19, the virus, has managed to achieve something that no referenda have been able to and that is to create four separate State's in the United Kingdom. I have much sympathy with the Northern Ireland assembly as they struggle with two neighbouring Countries each with a different approach. They are fortunate that they can focus on their common border colleagues while taking a 'watch and wait' approach to events across the Irish Sea.

I fail to have the same sympathy for The Crankie who is First Minister in Scotland. She spouts parrot fashion how she will not politicise the coronavirus challenge, and then does all she can to undermine the Prime Minister. If she is an intelligent person, then she should get the 'Be Alert' instruction, particularly as it is linked to a terror related status indication system too. If she is playing to the minority social networking trolls who have nothing but negative comments about everything, then she is succeeding. As I see it, her  no change strategy allows her to stand back and see how things go in England.  If it works as planned she can relax lockdown in Scotland and say she was just being cautious, if it goes pear shaped in England she can use the 'told you so' card. She is in a win-win situation and as she and Boris clearly do not get on, maybe even to the extent that they dislike each other with a passion, she can only come out of this smelling of roses, and without having to make any decisions herself.

The Welsh are dragged along in her slipstream somewhat although do seem to be prepared to take some individual decisions in isolation. The leader of the opposition, Kier Stammer just disagrees with most of what the government is doing without offering any alternatives, and must be pleased as punch that Labour lost the election.

The situation regarding children returning to school has also woken up the trade union movement who like nothing better than having a poke at a Conservative government. Press reports at the weekend indicated they were advising teachers not to provide lessons for absent pupil, not to do Zoom type lessons or talk one-to-one which them as it may expose them to pressure inconsistant with that normally experienced in the classroom. What a load of tosh!! They are now campaigning for the correct PPE for teahers when schools do re-conveen, which is right and proper, but there seems little in the way of help and assistance being offered as to how to make the classroom equally a safe and happy place to return to.

Boris has long been an admirer of Sir Winston Churchill. Churchill must be thinking how lucky he was to only be confronted by the Nazi's and Lord Haw Haw during the Second World War. He had no social media criticising his every move, he had no television and had total censorship of the press. Boris has none of that. He has a population of  Remainers he has upset  together with Labour, Lib Dem and other opposition party members who are happy to wade in while having no  responsibility for anything important themselves. He has the Press putting their spin on things and a gullible proportion of the population soaking it up as true.

It's a tough time for all of us, but nobody would want to be in Boris's shoe's at the moment, that's for sure. We can all be alert and start to allow the Country to open up a small amount, step too far though and we will all be back where we started and none of us want that.

The wrong trousers

Six weeks gone and still maintaining my sanity, although the last week has been a bit tense. SWMBO caught a bug, whether COVID-19 or something else is hard to say. She could not get out of bed for three days yet had no fever or cough. Three days in bed is almost unheard of, even on our honeymoon!! Ironically she has hardly been out of the house as I do the shopping. we have maybe had four walks round the local area, so to be on the safe side we booked a test for her

We were sent to Haydock Park race course, a 45 minute trip from The Wirral and on arrival we were instructed by q cards where to go and what to do, all very efficient. SWMBO had to self administer the swab and now three days later the test has come back clear. We still have no idea what she had as I suspect the test was taken too long into the process to have confirmed COVID-19, but she is now back cleaning, ironing and dusting so must be much better. She is also back in the pool. Clearly it is worrying when one so close could be at risk but fortunately admissions and deaths on the Wirral are falling along with the rest of the regions figures. I do note, however, that the North West is now the highest ranked in the hospitalisation table even ahead of London.

I read at the weekend that historians are encouraging people to keep a diary to document our activities during these almost unique times. I know you can't really say almost unique, but it fitted the flow......

To aid these historians and those in later years this is what I got up to yesterday.

I have  a strict clothing process in operation at home. My good clothes stay good until they degrade in quality. They are then moved to the golfing cupboard where  trousers in particular  are utilised on the links. After further degradation they are consigned to the gardening and decorating  box after which they get thrown out. Polo shirts tend to follow the same route or occasionally get sold on e-bay or at car boot sales. The time was right, I thought, for a clear out.

Gosh, I wish I hadn't done it!! This is my inventory of  'good' clothes:

• 16 pairs of trousers, 6 of which are NWT
• 19 jumpers
• 23 shirts
• 22 ties (why?)
• 32 polo shirts
• 3 blazers
• 7 jackets
• 2 suits
• 1 dinner suite with extra trousers
• 4 dress shirts
• 7 weatherproof tops
• 8 base layers
• 4 waterproof trousers and 
• 3 pairs of golf trousers

Oh yes, I also have a three-quarter length red coat which I have never worn!!

I have managed to identify four polo shirts and two weatherproof tops which can go on e-bay. One pair of golf trousers and a couple of polo shirts are destined for the gardening box and I have thrown away  some threadbare jumpers and a few old shirts. I still seem to have a few too many jackets and trousers but just can't bear to part with some old favourites, like black moleskin trousers, a pair of Levi's and a very comfortable denim jacket which I hardly wear but just might in the future!!

There is no car boot sale schedule this Summer so I guess we will see what I wear once the golf season kicks back in, and I can have another clear out after that. I am sure I don't need half what I have got, but as with toilet paper, you never know when hoarding may come in handy!!

Home home on the range

There is talk of golf courses being allowed to open maybe as early as the middle of May which will be a great escape valve for alot of people who play, and their partners who don't. That would be almost two months in lockdown without the joy of seeing a wayward drive land on the beach at Wallasey, or vanish into the beautiful but deadly gorse which lurks not far off the fairway.

So what to do without access to the course which will allow the swing to function reasonably well? My solution has been to invest in a simulator to allow me to wack my ball into the net at the end of the garden, but, instead of just thinking 'that was fairly straight' or 'that went miles' the computer software is able to show me.

Now I could put one of SWMBO's best white sheets in the net and fix my PC up to a projector and really think I am on the range, but I am happy with the results being fed to the PC beside me. So far the simulator is confirming that I am a pretty ordinary golfer, but it is highlighting  few thinks I can work on.

I have tried other simulators and not really got on with them, but so far this one seems to have roughly the right length shots for most clubs, and its the direction and club speed which I need to work on. It has a bag mapping option to allow me to see how far each club goes. This then identified gaps in yardage or overlaps. It also has a wedge matrix to allow me to see which lofted clubs are best for me to carry.

With the weather changing though I am not sure how many more sessions I have got to fix a few faults, or fix the holes appearing in the net!!

Elsewhere in Weathers Towers we are without hot water at the moment as it seems the emersion heater has developed a short circuit which keeps blowing the breaker. How to find an electrician or plumber in the current climate will be interesting. At least I have now finished the outdoor portfolio of jobs although SWMBO has identified a few more. The Council tips look likely to open next week so there will be no excuse for not trimming a few trees and bushes. With luck my tree surgeon will also be back at work and able to take some of the bigger limbs down for me.

If it does rain for a few days I can catch up on phone calls and 2020 Captains administration as well as starting the list of indoor activities. I am not waiting on any e-bay purchases as I have no money left to fritter away after the simulator outlay, but if interested, my mystery purchase from China was a chandelier of dubious design and value. One for the car boot cupboard I suspect.

So that's the sum of it at the moment, things are becoming a little more mundane but if it keeps us safe and healthy then we have to knuckle down and toe the party line. When it does open again the golf course will be in magnificent condition and the clubhouse is undergoing a make-over so we wait to see the end result. Fore!

Week and politics

Well week four in the big brother house is drawing to a close and the housemates are getting restless. In the  big house in London by the river, the occupants are now fair game,  targets for everything and anything that could go wrong. That hindsight talent which many press reporters seem to have in spades is certainly coming in useful. Would they like the job of managing the Country out of this? No way. Would the Labour party, Lib Dems or Nosher from Up North want the job? Definitely not. Lets accept we are in a bit of a pickle, look around us and see most of Europe is too, and try to pull together to get through it. Nobody is handling the crisis perfectly and the whole World all need the things we need so baton down the hatches and try to think of some interesting questions the Government spokesperson can answer instead of coming out with the same old rhetoric every night.

So that's the politics bit dealt with, now how has the week been? Sadly one of the ex-captain's of the golf club, Eric Roberts,  died a while ago and his funeral was on Thursday. He was my first sponsor for captaincy nomination so I am saddened that we will not be around to see me in action. We gave him as good a send off as we were able as he was applauded on his route to the cemetery, hopefully there will be the opportunity to toast his passing once we are able to socially connect again.

I am close to exhausting my outdoor job list and have just finished repointing the patio and realigning a few boundary bricks. I think it looks pretty good. I have managed to fix the electrical fault in the kitchen so normal service has resumed there, and I have orders out for spare parts for the shower, the vacuum cleaner and the bedside light. That has once more meant I have been trawling through e-bay to procure most of it.

Regular readers will be aware that I have no will power where random spending is concerned. I used to do most of it at auctions but they have dried up on the Wirral with the best two closing down. The ones which still exist are not able to trade at the moment so I am once more weakening and spending speculatively on-line. This week though has taken a bad turn. I am now starting to buy unseen job lots, be they returned goods, bulk purchases of various Chinese imports, or potentially fake t-shirts or sunglasses. The first consignment is on its way to me so I shall report back on whether I have made a killing, or, probably, not, later in the week.

It would be more sensible for me to just have a declutter and sell my stuff on e-bay, but I just can't decide which of my 32 polo shirts I don't need any more, or the seven weatherproof jackets, or four pairs of waterproof trousers. Ah, talking of which I have just purchased another two pairs of cotton slacks which I am convinced I need for golf!! I really should utilise the one in,  one out principal or else get a bigger closet!  This lockdown is a strange bedfellow,  I  just get so excited when the door bell goes these days. Now why did I not buy shares in Paypal!

All you need is love

Out go SWMBO and I for our occasional walk together, not because we don't want to go out walking together but because SWMBO is usually on the treadmill and in the pool for an hour or so first thing, and the last thing I need after a morning in the garden is a walk!!
Nonetheless, I really should be on the static bike doing some cardio as gardening is only a bit of weight training and more anaerobic than aerobic.

Anyway, today we were off into Noctorum and round the perimeter of Wirral Golf Club. Occasionally we will walk across the course as there are a couple of public footpaths which transgress it, but today we did the longer route. Wirral golf course used to be called Wirral Ladies but they dropped the Ladies from the title about a year or so ago. They thought it was putting new gentlemen members off as the CLub had been open for many years. Personally I would have stuck with the tradition but it was up to the members and they saw fit tot change it.

The course is a bit nervous at the moment as Birkenhead School have submitted planning permission to build 35 houses on their number 2 sports field which borders the course. If it is approved then it is likely that the golf club will be forced into erecting high fences at certain points to ensure no stray golf balls do damage to the new houses. That said, in all the time I ran along the border of the course near the sports field, I never found one golf ball!

But back to our walk. Noctorum is full of very large elegant houses ( and a pretty large council estate) and one of these houses is very much in the style of a French châteaux. It has a floodlit tennis court and a swimming pool block, and a folly. The folly, however, is only wheeled out now and again for the passing foot traffic to enjoy.

Quite what the story behind the Fab Four in Oxton is, I have no idea, but there they are full size and about to go for a stroll themselves!

Ironically, Westminster Council have taken advantage of the reduced footfall caused by the Coronavirus lockdown to repaint the zebra crossing in Abbey Road, made famous as the cover to The Beatles album of 1969. Maybe the folly should be rotated 90 degrees to emulate them crossing the road, as best it can. A zebra crossing might look a bit strange outside this house though.

I have changed the image as the original was blocked, presumably for copyright reasons. It was workmen painting some white lines for goodness sake!!

 In a Sliding Doors moment, I would have been in Atlanta today playing  golf at the Atlanta Athletics Club. Monday and Tuesday just past me and my chum Steve would have done the practise days at The Masters in Augusta, and would have been flying home tomorrow as I had our eldest son's wedding on Sunday in Liverpool. That's all by the bye at the moment, so it's on with lockdown through the Easter weekend, more gardening, gym work and cake. Take care everybody, and stay safe.

Jesus saves....

....and Chivers heads in the rebound was the first iteration of this well worked slogan that I saw. It was in the garden of a church in Streatham. Football and footballers now seem to be having their moment in our lockdown life, as debate rages about whether they are doing the right thing, or indeed, anything.

The debate got started when some high profile Premier League clubs started putting their non-playing staff on furlough leave during the Corvid-19 crisis which allows the government to pay 80% of their salary. People considered this the wrong use of the furlough programme when their players were earning thousands, if not millions,  a week, and a small paycut for them could enable the Clubs to keep their non-playing staff on full pay. Even the Minister of State for Health waded in and fuelled the fire by indicating that players should do more to help.

Enter the pantomime villain who is Gordon Taylor, secretary of the Professional Footballers Association, and in all but name, the footballers shop steward. Taylor has been subject to all sorts of allegations and investigations regarding his ethical approach to his working practises and amid the latest scrutiny he agreed he would step down. That was nearly twelve months ago!

So here he is now with the bit between his teeth and an opportunity to kick the Government right where it hurts. 'If my players take a 30% pay cut that equates to over £500m' he said, 'that's 300m in taxes for the NHS'. Great rhetoric, Gordon, but where are the figures to back that up? While off shore Company and Switz bank accounts may be something HMLR have been trying to close down for years, there is a feeling in the wider community that footballers are overpaid and lack that intellectual quality which makes them valued members of society.

Wayne Rooney, not usually famed for his journalistic talents, now writes a column in The Times which he is using to try to proliferate  the average footballers case for greater regard at the same time as Kyle Walker, the England right back, decides that social isolation might be more tolerable if he shares it with a couple of hookers. Which part of isolation don't you understand Kyle?

This financial challenge for the Premier League will run and run. Will there be breach of contract recriminations? Will players leave on free transfers? Will some clubs make huge losses and go to the wall? Will Manchester City win their financial fair play appeal as they are now able to balance their books in a more favourable manner? Do I care, does anybody care? Probably not.

That said, I and others are missing watching sport on the television, and after the success of the virtual Grand National on Saturday I have to think that EA-Sports, the makers of FIFA, and the Premier League statistical partner could produce virtual matches to  allow the outstanding fixtures to be played out, final tables to be produced and cups and medals to be awarded. This could even cascade down the football pyramid such that promotion and relegation can be decided at all football league levels.

Somebody somewhere should be able to introduce a high tech solution but sometimes I just think football organisations are too insular and in the case of Gordon Taylor need to justify their own existence and look after number 1.  It's a great idea, but it  won't happen