Is there life on Mars?

I wonder if David Bowie had the answer? I hope there is as I might need somewhere else to live soon. This Country is going sterile!

Would you rather be rescued by a hairy arsed male fire fighter or a buxom female fire fighter. Now there you are I am already trapped in the world of political correctness, and to a lesser extent, positive discrimination.

A fireman is now a fire fighter, a linesman is now an assistant referee and a policeman is now a police officer.  Chairman is shortened to Chair, a postman has become a postal worker and a sex worker is the new name for a prostitute, or hooker.

That leads me seamlessly onto The President's Club gentlemen's evening at The Dorchester Hotel.  As a result of a Financial Times reporter attending as an undercover hostess ( no pun intended) the event has been portrayed as a debauched and lewd occasion with the emphasis on the exploitation of the waitresses and hostess by rich and privileged male attendees. The President's Club has subsequently shut itself down and will be holding enquiries in the behaviour of it's members.

I am perplexed as to why the FT should suddenly want to model itself on the exploits of Fiona Richmond and her colleague in Men Only, who were always following up a juicy sex story before ending their reports as they got to the nitty gritty,  with  'I then made my apologies and left', leaving the reader to only imagine what might have happened next.

I am also surprised that after 33 years, this event has been given the focus it has. I suspect the waitresses were paid much more than the minimum wage to be there, at least £150 being reported. The number of them involved indicates that many will have waited on at the event before, and no previous complaints of sexual harassment, or improper behaviour, have hit the press. Why suddenly now has it all come to a head.

Close on the heels of this expose, World darts announced it would stop having walk-on girls making an entrance with the darts players, and there are calls for boxing to stop using scantily clad girls to parade the board in the ring between rounds.  Do these initiatives spell the end of the road for the Tiller Girls, the Folies Belgere or the Roxettes.

I do fear for this antiseptic society where every kid is portrayed as being a winner, even when they come last, where the male v female divide is fast becoming blurred or optional. Are we really teaching sex change education to teenage children. Alpha males need to let off steam,  be that as part of sports teams, in tough muder challenges or at gentlemen's smoking evenings, to use an old fashioned description. Girls, women, ladies all need to understand that. They, themselves,  now play rugby, football and cricket  in numbers well in excess of those of their parents and participate in their own kind of horseplay afterwards. They have hen nights attended by buff butlers. Good luck to them.

All I wish is a  bit of common sense in the modern world, and some pushback at the vocal minorities who hate to see people enjoying themselves in a way they don't approve of, or using old fashioned language in the way it was designed.

It's not rocket science, but if it is, then can I go to Mars please?

You've lost two pounds?

I won't tell you the punch line from the Peter Kay joke above, but suffice to say that SWMBO and I are trying to lose some weight. 'Are you on a diet?' people say, and it just once again illustrates problems with basic language.

Yes, we are on a diet, but we are always on a diet, and so is the rest of the population. All we have done is modify our existing diet, so it becomes a new diet. Diet, though, seems to be associated with a radical change of eating habits, which is not always the case.

That said, I have not had a pie, chips, cakes, sweets or chocolate now for a month. We have removed white bread and pasta form our diet ( see what I mean) and are eating more fruit, drinking more fresh juices and have cut down our alcohol consumption.

Will it work? Well weighing day is just round the corner and the first time usually indicates some weight loss as the excess fluid is the first thing to go. February and March will be a bit of a tester with rugby trips and such like scheduled, so time will tell.

While I am on my language hobby horse, 'the player has pace' is another expression which annoys me. We all have pace, just some people have a quick pace and others a slow pace. 'The player is quick' or  ' he shows a good turn of speed' better describe what people are trying to say.

Whatever you do, don't get me onto 'simplistic' when 'simple' will do, or.........

I think I need a lie down!

January monthly review

Christmas has passed and the Hillhouse occupants have eased into the New Year. Both girls, Emma and Becky have new homes to furnish and manage as they seem to have got themselves settled into other areas of the Wirral. Emma's girls have settled into Birkenhead High School Academy so SWMBO only has Emilie to look after during the day, although school pick-up duties are still required.

Wallasey golf club continues to see far more of me than I had planned, but with a relatively mild Winter, the links have stood up well, and the sandy subsoil enables ma and my fellow members to play any day we wish. Neighbouring clubs on clay bases are struggling with courses or sections of courses closed for days on end. As a result, the applications for membership has escalated and there is now a waitlist as well as a sizeable one-off joining fee when looking to become a member.

SWMBO has a significant birthday this year, so I am whisking her off to the Seychelles and Mauritius  later in the year. We have never been to the Seychelles, as much because I have always felt it would be a bit too relaxed with little to do, as for any other reason. You will not be surprised when I say that the hotel I have found has the only 18 hole golf course in the Seychelles, so I thought that would be ideal. We stay there a week and then travel to Mauritius for a week for a bit of pampering and, oh yes, more golf!!

As a warm up I have again entered the Sir Gary Sobers golf festival in Barbados in April, and as way of a change we are staying on the West coast so we can sample the delights of The Cliff, Tides, Daphne's and Sandy Lane, as well as Holetown and Ape's Hill.

We might try and schedule some decorating while we are away as SWMBO thinks the paintwork is getting a bit tired!

The London branch did not make it up North for Christmas, so we are trying to fit in trips in both directions to meet up, but with term time commitments it is not easy to get them all together. Tim, though, is hoping to get to Liverpool for my 65th in a few weeks time. I am waiting to see how much the government are going to give me for getting old!!

As we move towards February, and the start of the international rugby season it will be time to meet up with a few old mate's and tell all the stories we have been telling for years. Some things never change!