I'm Mandy, Fly Me

I have just returned from Portugal after the annual 'Algarve Cup' tournament. I avoided winning the parrot for last place, and with two good and two bad rounds, I came mid-table.

I travelled over and back on EasyJet, but for some reason from Liverpool, John Lennon International Airport, they only fly one flight on the Monday, so whereas most of the team got back Monday night, I had to wait until Tuesday.

EasyJet are fine as long as they fly on time, I don't have a problem paying for baggage or golf clubs, and the staff are generally friendly and helpful. I was interested though to read about the extra charges being introduced at their hub in Luton, while travelling back.

I had already noticed that people are charged 50p for the clear plastic bag they put their make-up in, at Liverpool, and there is the lounge charge, the priority boarding charge and the fast track security charge which seem to be accepted these days. The announcement that people were to be charged £1 to drop people off at the airport though is a bit cheeky. Air travel is designed to be quicker than other modes of transport, so encouraging people to use the park and ride so way away is only going to erode the differential. I know its only £1 , but judging by the RyanAir announcement to their staff that theyneed to think of new ways of charging passengers, it could be the tip of the iceberg.

So, what are the suggestions; charging people to eat their own food on the plane ( food corkage equivalent), making fat people pay more money, or including your weight as part of your baggage allowance, and what else?

Well here are a few things for you if any RyanAir people read this.

Its 30p to spend a penny at Paddington Station in London, although you can slide in past the turnstiles if you know the trick!! So lets have a toilet usage charge on aircraft. What about paying so that the seat in front of you cannot be reclined, although a reclining passenger may need to be re-imbursed for not being able to be selfish and inconsiderate. Short haul don't have movies or entertainment, but that is an obvious one to charge for, if they do not already.

They could also sell papers and magazines, wet wipes and serviettes but they would all contribute to total takeoff weight and may not therefore be viable.

Alternatively of course they could just make everything inclusive and put the base price up, I am sure it will happen, but then don't Virgin and BA do that already?

Terminal velocity

Continuing the aeronautical theme, I was interested to see that the new terminal 5 at Heathrow airport was opened by the Queen on Friday. I try to avoid flying from Heathrow whenever possible as it has become a bit of a nightmare, but needs must and when they get it right, then its fine. Living only 15 minutes away from terminal 1 is a great advantage, but I suspect access to terminal 5 will be impossible from the M4, so a drive of indeterminate length will be required to arrive at and leave from the new building. The main problem is that the access to the terminal is a spur from the M25 motorway at one of its most busy points between the M4 and the A30. On a bad day a 15 minute journey could become an hour or more, not good.

It is interesting that Beijing has opened its new terminal at about the same time, in preparation for the Olympic Games, here are some comparisons. Heathrow Terminal 5 (T5) is the size of 50 football pitches. Beijing (B) is the size of 170!!. Both claim to be built on time and to budget. T5 is the largest free-standing building in the UK , B is the second biggest structure in the World, and has 17% more floorspace than all of Heathrows five terminals combined. Unfortunately nine villages were flattened and 10,000 people were displaced to allow for its construction.

The Olympic angle is interesting as the plan at Heathrow is now to demolish the Queens building and terminals 1 & 2 to allow redevelopment for the super jumbo's and other services offered by non-BA airlines. Recent announcements have indicated the planned redevelopment cannot now be completed in time for 2012.

I wonder how many villages will be flattened if the plans for the third runway at Heathrow gets the go-ahead.

We apologise for the delay to flight EZ1234.....

We flew with GB Airways when we went to Cyprus. They are an interesting airline in as much as they were, until recently, in the private ownership of the Bland Group, with BA operating them as a franchise. The Bland brothers have now agreed to sell the airline to EasyJet, who will acquire the routes out of Gatwick and Manchester, but not the slots at Heathrow more's the pity.

The aircraft seemed to be standard BA stock although it was interesting that the seat pitch was greater flying out than it was flying back when we had those seats that stuck into you somewhere whenever you tried to get to sleep.

I have always been curious of the sub-culture which exists on aircraft. I can rationalise that they never show the Airplane movies or other flight disaster movies, but tell me this, why do you never get chips with the meal?