Get me out of here.....

 A week is a long time in politic's, and so the last month or two have flown by. I understand why Bonking Boris was forced to resign, but it ws a case of be careful what you wish for, as the elderly grey pound population from the home counties decided to choose his replacement.

Goodness me what must the new King have thought. A cross between Margaret Thatcher and Teresa May, takong hopefully the good bits from both. Sadly only the handbag reminded us of Maggie, and I struggle to remember any good bits Teresa May had.  So Liz Truss entered office, set a fe hares running and then decided she had bitten off rather more than she could chew. 

Trigger World mirth at the mess the UK was in. The poison dwarf AKA the gobbler, North of the border could not believe her luck and just as she was meant to stick the knife in, some transgender nonsense got in the way and she ended up fighting a battle she did not expect, right on her doorstep. One of her protagonists is well connected in the witchcraft community so it might not be a straight forward battle to win.

So what of Labour? Not since Tony Blair have they had a creditable leader to push home any advantage they have over the governing Conservative party., and so it proves again. I would have been inclined if I was Rushi Sumak to call a general election, pass the baton to Mr CPS and see how he and his brash Northern colleagues would do. He must so be relieved that did not happen.

Then, just as the Country needs a lift, Peter Kay announces he will be touring again, that al do, and that mad MP Matt Hancock decides to emigrate to Australis but gets the wrong connecting flight in Perth and ends up somewhere in the jungle with a Karma Chameleon, a dwarf throwing minor royal,(lucky Ellie Simmonds got turfed off Strictly) and a series of Z list celebrities  all ready to breath a sigh of relief as Matt looks forward to ten bush tucker trials on the bounce.

You couldn't make it up!!

Jesus saves....

....and Chivers heads in the rebound was the first iteration of this well worked slogan that I saw. It was in the garden of a church in Streatham. Football and footballers now seem to be having their moment in our lockdown life, as debate rages about whether they are doing the right thing, or indeed, anything.

The debate got started when some high profile Premier League clubs started putting their non-playing staff on furlough leave during the Corvid-19 crisis which allows the government to pay 80% of their salary. People considered this the wrong use of the furlough programme when their players were earning thousands, if not millions,  a week, and a small paycut for them could enable the Clubs to keep their non-playing staff on full pay. Even the Minister of State for Health waded in and fuelled the fire by indicating that players should do more to help.

Enter the pantomime villain who is Gordon Taylor, secretary of the Professional Footballers Association, and in all but name, the footballers shop steward. Taylor has been subject to all sorts of allegations and investigations regarding his ethical approach to his working practises and amid the latest scrutiny he agreed he would step down. That was nearly twelve months ago!

So here he is now with the bit between his teeth and an opportunity to kick the Government right where it hurts. 'If my players take a 30% pay cut that equates to over £500m' he said, 'that's 300m in taxes for the NHS'. Great rhetoric, Gordon, but where are the figures to back that up? While off shore Company and Switz bank accounts may be something HMLR have been trying to close down for years, there is a feeling in the wider community that footballers are overpaid and lack that intellectual quality which makes them valued members of society.

Wayne Rooney, not usually famed for his journalistic talents, now writes a column in The Times which he is using to try to proliferate  the average footballers case for greater regard at the same time as Kyle Walker, the England right back, decides that social isolation might be more tolerable if he shares it with a couple of hookers. Which part of isolation don't you understand Kyle?

This financial challenge for the Premier League will run and run. Will there be breach of contract recriminations? Will players leave on free transfers? Will some clubs make huge losses and go to the wall? Will Manchester City win their financial fair play appeal as they are now able to balance their books in a more favourable manner? Do I care, does anybody care? Probably not.

That said, I and others are missing watching sport on the television, and after the success of the virtual Grand National on Saturday I have to think that EA-Sports, the makers of FIFA, and the Premier League statistical partner could produce virtual matches to  allow the outstanding fixtures to be played out, final tables to be produced and cups and medals to be awarded. This could even cascade down the football pyramid such that promotion and relegation can be decided at all football league levels.

Somebody somewhere should be able to introduce a high tech solution but sometimes I just think football organisations are too insular and in the case of Gordon Taylor need to justify their own existence and look after number 1.  It's a great idea, but it  won't happen