I just said 'Blow the Bloody Doors Off'

Have you ever got out of bed in the morning and wondered where you have parked the car? Well that happened to me today, except I had not moved the car for three days, and it was not outside where I thought I had left it.
'That's strange' , I thought, I am sure it was there last night. So some entrepreneur of low moral fibre had tea leaved it for purpose or purposes unknown.
It will be used in a ram raid, or just driven round and dumped when it runs out of fuel said the local old bill I on the other hand had conjured up the image of it being stolen to order and already being resprayed, getting fitted with new number plates and shipped off to Cuba to star in a new James Bond film.

It had a bit of stuff in the boot, and cd's and electrical gismo's, but as I am off to Portugal tomorrow for a spot of golf, my passport and most of my equipment was luckily safely indoors.

So if any of you see a 5 Series blue BMW sticking out of a shop front near you, it could be mine!

Who have you come as then?

Can you believe it? As part of my recent Algarvian tour, I and my fellow tourists dressed one night in Hawaiian shirts, and on another night in our room mates clothes. Yes I know we are grown men, but rugby players never change, even if its on golf tour. Strange as those evenings were, nothing compared with the middle night when we had to dress as favourite Englishmen. Now we were fore warned about this to allow costumes to be prepared and carefully assembled, but I went for the sheet and two belts approach for easy packing.

So as I appeared at the designated bar, dressed as T.E. Lawrence, aka Lawrence of Arabia, who did I spot drinking there already? Yes there was another T.E. Lawrence! Now there were only eight of us on tour, and the other six had chosen Ozzie Osborne, Robin Hood, James Bond, Dick Turpin, Tommy Cooper and Harry Hill. So what are the chases of two people in that small group dressing the same?

Worst of course was to come, as tour rules dictate that when one Lawrence misbehaves and gets fined, both do. We therefore spent all night checking we were both drinking with the correct hand, were addressing the day captains in the correct manner and performed any cunning stunts in a timely and well presented manner. Gosh, was I pleased when mid-night arrived and one could revert to normal!