Take a bow son, take a bow....

I have been wondering about the quality of sports commentators over the last few weeks.

I have always been very negative towards Eddie Butler when he has tried to commentate on rugby for the BBC. I think I am justified too. He is an ex-captain of the Wales 1st XV and as such should have a good grasp of the Laws of the game, and some sort of tactical nous. He demonstrates neither. His side kick Brian Moore is a very clever narrator and writer, but he adds nothing to the Stadler and Waldorf double act which they have long been.
I was relieved, therefore, that neither are being involved in the ITV coverage of the Rugby World Cup in the coming weeks.

I am now seriously considering my position. The ITV coverage is awful. Its not all their fault of course, well actually yes it is, but neither ITV or BBC have sufficient regular commentary opportunities given most of the day to day rugby is on Sky. That said, Phil Vickery, son of Cornwall and all , adds about as much specialist insight as Gabby Logan would. Poor old Steve Ryder must wonder how he manipulates his panel of experts such that they do not resemble a bunch of Muppets.

So rugby has a challenge, but in a few weeks normal service will be resumed and Sky will be back in the driving seat. You have to feel, therefore, for Sky. Last season they sacked Andy Gray and Rob Key from their prime time football slots for inappropriate sexual comments which were caught on mike, off air.

I suspect now they wish they had disciplined them and left them in their roles. Why? well they have been replaced by Geoff Snelling, and there is no problem there, but he is being supported by Gary Neville and Ray Wilkins.

Now if I was an insomniac, the chances of me staying awake through a Sky televised footie match would be absolutely zero. You could train Neville to say all the right things, but an accent and the associated inflection are inbred. He is the dullest, least emotional, man you could wish to have on commentary. Maybe if Snelling dressed in a referee outfit you might see some rage out of him, otherwise its all gloom and doom.

The same is true of Wilkins. He brings his own brand of English to the role, and his comment is as bland as his play was. Come on Sky sort it out.

On BBC there is at least the option to listen to the radio commentary rather than the TV. I do remember Sky having a 'crowd noise only' option, I wonder if they still do?

The Empire strikes back

There is a shop on Twickenham Green in West London which sells Storm Trooper outfits modelled on the suits worn in the Start Wars films. I understand there is a serious sub-culture surrounding these suits and the use of them. Fanatics are booked for Star Wars exhibitions, weddings, theme parties and night club events, and the people who embrace the Force take great pride in their appearance.There are a number of variations in the design of the suits and the worst thing a person can do is mix and match, definitely a no-go.

Now however things have taken a sinister turn. The person who manufactured the helmets for the original films, Andrew Ainsworth owns the shop. In 2004 he discovered one of the original helmets he had made in a cupboard in his home in Twickenham.

After successfully selling it to a collector, he began to manufacture the outfits once more, through his company, Shepperton Design Studios. He found a legion of Star Wars fans willing to pay up to £1,800 for a suit and helmet. Lucasfilm responded in 2006 by suing Mr Ainsworth. A judge in California awarded the firm $20 million (£10 million) in damages for copyright infringement, unfair competition and trademark infringement. It has now brought the case to Britain to ensure that this decision is enforced here. The case is currently being heard.

Lawyers for Mr Ainsworth are arguing that the copyright has expired, because the uniforms were pieces of industrial design rather than works of art.

Lucasfilm has made in excess of £6 billion from merchandise sales off the back of the Star Wars films, so they are certainly the Empire in this particular battle. Mr Ainsworth is counter suing for a share of this £6 billion over the last 30 years. Lets hope that Luke Skywalker is batting for the good guys again.