Get up that chimney

A happy New year to all of you. Its the festive season which has generated my first thoughts of the year.

During the industrial revolution, the use of child labour was commonplace and well documented by Dickens and others. It provided a source of cheap and subservient labour at a time when the momentum of the revolution needed to be maintained. they worked in mines and factories performing a wide range of menial tasks in terrible conditions. ...and you tell the youth of today that, and they just won't believe you... to paraphrase Monty Python.

Now we are in the midst of a new revolution, and we are missing a trick by not deploying children to help.

I am referring of course to the technological revolution which continues at a pace that adults are struggling to keep up with.

What I say, therefore, is lets get the child labour principle back in vogue. I think when you go to Richer Sounds, Comet, PC World or elsewhere and purchase something, you should get a seven year old thrown in. You can take them home, get them to configure and install the particular electrical product you have purchased and away you go. The child can be fed at your discretion with portions comparable with the size of the task they have performed, and then a call to said retail outlet will result in a cab arriving to take them back for their next assignment.

That should keep them off the streets, teach them that a square meal does not automatically turn up when they are hungry and that the better they are at something the more they are rewarded....more? the boy asked for more?

"Well I've been on package tours before....."

I am sure you are all pleased to hear that I avoided winning 'The Rabbit' on the recent golf trip to Wales. It was a close run thing, but close is fine by me.

It was interesting though that the recent bird flu outbreak should be in Conwy on the day I played there, given I am part of the team setting up an emergency response unit for Defra at the moment. No planting of infection was involved, however, and I am sure the team dealt with the requirements more than satisfactorily.

Kierans 21st birthday bash passed off without too many incidents although his 7ft tall Uncle John did get bit squiffy towards the end and started parodying Monty Python in the Travel Agent Sketch... '.... and their Watney's Red Barrel and their swimming pools full of fat German businessmen pretending to be acrobats and forming pyramids and frightening the children....' although in this case the children were 20 year olds!!

We also had an offer on the house over the weekend, but it fell some way below our expectations so we have said to the agent must try harder. It's an interesting hierarchy they have. The sharp suited twenty something with the patent pointy shoes does all the leg work and shows the punters round, then as soon as there is an offer in steps the Branch Manager to claim all the glory for the sale. The sharpie could do with a bit of coaching on how to sell a property, but then they probably have yet to own one themselves so lack the common sense experiences of life in general really.

So a lively ten days, lets see what the next few hold.....