Friday 16 November 2007

Manuel meets Chantelle

I started my working career in an office near East Croydon Station. it was a good time in my life. I worked shifts, I still lived with my student mates in a flat in Balham, gateway to the South, and started playing rugby for Shirley Wanderers.

Croydon was/is a place of high rise offices dominating the skyline, and had the reputation as one of the easiest places to drive into and a little swine to drive out of!! It has one of the largest council estates in the country down the road in New Addington, and all the other inner city suburb planning blight which was synonymous with the sixties. That said, we had a few good runs ashore in the town, particularly after the end of our evening shift at work.

You will appreciate, then, why a smile crossed my face recently when it became known that Croydon was to re-invent itself as Britain's own equivalent of Barcelona. Now let me see, is Croydon by the sea? No. Is its architecture inspired by a classic designer like Gaudi? No. Does it have a footie team who qualifies for the Champions League every year? No. Does it have anything to inspire comparison with Barca? Well, I suspect crime might be comparable.

The architect behind the regeneration is Will Alsop. Previously he has tried to get Barnsley to reinvent itself as a walled Tuscan hill town! His plans for Croydon include a 30 storey high equivalent of the Eden Project, the reintroduction of the River Wandle, presumably with accompanying gondolas from Venice, no doubt to be followed by Croydon bidding for the World Rowing Championships.

Nice try Croydon, but stick to what you are best at, doling out visas to 3rd World refugees (well meaning Brazilians excluded of course) and the invention of the Croydon face lift.

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