I do good deal my friend

I have just returned from a few days in Marrakesh with some of the BMW golf group, and I must say this retirement business is beginning to have an appeal. We played three courses while out there and the contrasts were fascinating. I was sixth after day one but faded to end in the pack although a steady par round the back nine at Amalkis sent me hope with a smile.

To help the economy, caddies are compulsory, and I know know what an important tool in the professional armoury such a person can be. I had a nightmare on the second day, and, although I have nightmares when playing without a caddie, on this occasion I was in another place.

He gave me wrong clubs, walked me to tees, via the scenic route and was generally a bad vibe. All round I fought my inner self but sadly it won 3 and 2!!!

The bigger disappointment was that this was the day we played Marrakesh Royal golf club, a course laid out in 1920 by the top man of the time, and it has been graces by King Hussain, Winston Churchill and Dwight D Eisenhower

The characters on the tour were an equally eclectic bunch. There was a retired builder who had got his six numbers up, a publisher who spent a lot of time in the old Eastern Block. One of his big titles is 'Wheres Wally?' and the banter on tour suggested he was the role model for the character! Big Rod is in munitions, fabricating the personnel carriers we are sending our boys in Afghanistan and there were financiers, legal eagles, electricians and teachers. It was all very interesting.

So what of the city itself? well Sex in the City 2 was being filmed on location while we were there which will no doubt give a sight of the place when it is released. We really only saw the grand bizarre.It was big, but once you see one carpet stall you see them all, especially when none of them were the flying variety!

Its size inevitable led to my group getting lost in a 'maze of twisting little passages which all looked the same'.Our efforts to keep turning right did not work so we eventually had to pay a local to escort us back to the main square!

We then got taken by a hawker to an authentic Moroccan restaurant, so authentic in fact that it did not sell alcohol. We made our excuses and left. We found another which did, and threw in a belly dancer for free...

Marrakesh is about a three day resort which I probably would not return to in a hurry. Paraphrasing Tuffers view of India 'done the poverty, done the camels'