Welling up

I had no idea that there were two Well Lane addresses within less than a mile of each other on the Wirral. It was in one such address I was due to have my golf captain photograph taken today. The poor man in Tranmere had no idea what I was talking about when I went knocking on his door. I just find it hard to imagine that I am the only person ever to make the same mistake. No, there was no ' you want the Well Lane up the road, mate' just a 'what photographs have you come to take' query. As Fiona Richmond would say, I made my excuses and left.

The correct Well Lane address when I found it was a house tucked away in Higher Beddington and is home to Colin Beringham, professional photographer. On entering the property one is greeted by a huge picture of Bruce Grobbelaar, the ex-Plymouth Argyle goalkeeper, in a very swish DJ. On the stairs is a portrait of Ken Dodd and a three quarter length John Major adorns the parlour. Colin was very welcoming and had taken the precaution of caging his dogs prior to our arrival. Good move.

After the usual preliminary discussions I was ushered into the changing room to first get ready for the blazer shots. These have been traditionally used by the Club for press release and other such routine matters, although their use does seem to have been somewhat reduced in recent years, maybe this year will see an upturn. I decided on two versions, one with the Club tie and another with the Senior section tie. It's their decision whether they take, one or both, or neither.

We then moved onto the main event of the day, the red coat shot. In the studio Colin has a range of chairs, stools, tables, half desks and other props with which to frame the perfect shot. we must have taken twenty shots for consideration but probably fifty all together.

Finally he took a three quarter of me in the style of John Major which I shall keep for my own records.

Once I was changed back into civi's we went through the selection process, aided by the current Captain who had accompanyed me there as is the tradition. I found a quick and slick process to be the best and we soon had our four portraits selected and they are now to go under the Photoshop process to make me even more good looking than I naturally am. All will be revealed after the Annual General Meeting at the end of March when my portrait will hang proudly in the foyer of the Club.

As long  as people don't think it's Jack Rowell we should be OK!!