Don't dubbin the toecaps, Mum.....

I am having a Glenda Slag moment today, triggered by the latest front page expose of David Beckhams knee injury.

Ah that sweet David Beckham don't you just love his tattooed torso and stunning good looks, wizzing down the wing for England. I would love to massage his groin strain anytime...............David Beckham, what a big girls blouse, calls himself a footballer, with his metatarsal of a girlfriend and dodgy knees ( no connection there for sure) the States are welcome to him. Beckham, you Yank.(geddit!!).

Metatarsals now they are strange little bones aren't they, discovered by your average football player about 4 years ago when the bones featured in the Bash Street Kids Christmas Annual. Since then the players have been going over like nine pins. 'Desperate Dan' Rooney, Steven 'the scouse' Gerrard, Gary 'Trotsky' Neville and, oh yes, 'break it like' Beckham himself have all had damaged meta's.

Well I have the answer, give them some proper boot like I used to wear. Our Jackie Milburn, Tom Finney, Dickie Dean and Billie Wright never had such injuries, and why? Proper boots. ......... now wheres that hammer, the nails are coming through my feet again......

Show me the way to go home

I used to think I was a long way from London when I drove past a Morrisons supermarket, although with their takeover of Safeway and the consequent rebranding of the stores, that is no longer the case.

Today I know I am up early when I follow a night bus along Chiswick High Road!! I have volunteered for some client supervision at 05:30 in Hoddesdon in North London, so an early start is required. Trouble is Hoddesdon is one of those pleasant market towns which isn't any more, and there is nowhere open within miles, so caffeine levels are running on empty.

More's the pity as I could do with a boost after the experience of Wembley stadium last night.

First the good news. Door to door it took me 35 minutes to get there, Brazil played some attractive football, the Brazilian women were in good form, and yes, the stadium itself is impressive. It is huge. Bigger than Twickenham, bigger than Croke Park and seems about the same size as Stade Francais, with which is shares a similar shape and feel.

Now the less than good news....Steve McLaren clearly watched a different game to me when he said on the radio this morning that England played as a team and it was a good performance. The side lacked pace and creativity, assets which the Brazil team showed in spades. Smith and Owen were ineffectual, and I hate to say it but Beckham looked a class above. Robinson is awful when handling crosses (or not) and his kicking was poor. Lampard is a waste of space.

The thing, however, which, got my cousin reaching for double Rhodiola, was the journey home. The stadium emptied pretty well but the queues for the various railway stations was painful. There appeared to be no extra trains, there did not seem to be any new developments at the stations which allowed for extra platforms, or indeed wider platforms, and the journey home took nearly two hours. Having taken six years to construct, would it have been too much to ask of Transport for London to have improved the support infrastructure? With Red Ken in charge it is probably asking too much....agggh I feel another rant Blog coming on.....Luckily when I did get back, Morans Hotel bar was still buzzing so I was able to have a couple of glasses of ale before retiring.

I was right about the lager, as there did not seem to be any bitter taps in the bars, and I also observed that footie fans seem to be more follicley challenged that their rugger counterparts. It does, however, seem to be out of choice.

Would I go again? Well to see Argyle or the Spurs definitely. Otherwise if there is no corporate hospitality or helicopter transfer available, I will probably give it a miss.