A thrash round a field

Rory McIlroy had just come back from a boys weekend in Ibiza, before he went on to win the Open Championship at Hoylake last week. Clearly that sort of break can do your golf the world of good.

I was one of the volunteer marshal's and did seven or eight shift from the Tuesday onwards. It was fascinating to see the players close up and wonder at how they hit the ball so far with apparently little effort. I am told something's called timing and practise are to blame!

I did not exactly meet the world but I did see David Clarke, an ex-Twickenham RFC lad with whom I used to play golf. He was caddying for Cameron Tringale, who had two steady rounds but was unable to make the cut mark.

David must be one of the most unlucky caddies around, he was with Justin Rose when he turned pro, and went through the hard times with him. They parted on good terms some time later but before Justin started winning big. He was with Michelle Wie when she had totally lost her game, and then moved on to VJ Singh for a while, and VJ has never been the fame force since his deer antler scandal.

I did appear on the BBC news at 7pm on the Sunday as a lady reporter did a piece to camera. I had my back to her and looked like I was perched on her shoulder like a parrot. We got £12 food allowance which did not buy too much food at the prices they were charging, so I saved mine up and got a bottle of champagne from the beer tent...every little helps.

So after Rory played so well after his boys weekend away, I wondered what difference my trip to Lisbon had made, and the formula seems to have worked. I went round Southport and Ainsdale yesterday in 82 shots, helping Wallasey to gain an honourable 4-4 draw. Interestingly when I consult my records I see that during our Southport flog expedition in 1988, I birdied the first hole and then went round in 103, so I seem to be improving!

Big box, little box

SWMBO is in Ibiza at the moment on number one daughter's hen 'night'. It's funny how a night can turn into five nights, but that seems the way of it these days. There are seven friends and family who have gone, and it sounds like they are having a rum old time.

The hotel is a bit like Colditz, with the swimming pool area being locked until 08:30. I suspect that is to stop them skinny dipping, their reputation must have foregone them!! The Germans must be frustrated though as they would not be able to grab the sun beds in their usual 06:00 dawn raid.

The crew have found a beach bar and restaurant where they can relax away from the Essex crowd, it looks a bit Pete Tong to me though, and last night they had a bop till they drop night at Pasha, one of the super clubs which San Antonio is famous for. It opened at midnight and SWMBO was most put out that the others bailed out at 05:00 as she wanted to go through to the close. I guess you got breakfast then, on the way home!!

All this just shows that the wedding is close at hand, I better practise my speech more this time in case that ends up on YouTube too!!! I think the piano playing will go out the window though.

Rickyyyyyyyy!!

The BBC soap opera Eastenders, occasionally comes up with some gems as part of its dialogue.

I am reminded of the quote Mo Slater came out with prior to attending one of Ian Beales parties....'I hope there is a cheese and pineapple hedgehog' she said,'it isn't a proper party without one of those'

Memories of childhood came flooding back, when you always dived for the hedgehog, and then removed the cheese before plonking the cocktail stick and pineapple back in the display. I have to say though, that I can't think when last I attended a party which incorporated the hedgehog as part of its running buffet.

My recent golf trip to Portugal though brought one of Dot Cottons philosophical sayings to mind. 'Buy cheap, buy twice', she once said. Now how many of us have suffered from these words of wisdom when buying electric power tools, screwdrivers or sports equipment. These days you usually get what you pay for.

I was team captain of the Sixhitters and needed team shirts and outfits for the match and the final dinner. Given the gear was probably only going to be worn once, and thrown away, there was only one place to go, Primark. Primark is owned by British Associated Foods, and is the flagship brand in their portfolio. It has embraced the Tesco motto previously attributed to food, 'pile em high, sell em cheap', and focused it on the clothing market.

Much of their stuff is crap, but with polo shirt at £5 and £3 for a pair of white shell suit trousers which can double as cricket flannels, I was not too bothered. Neither made the return trip from the Algarve.

If I was in their marketing team, I would be exploring the possibility of opening stores in Aiya Napa, Ibiza and other 'kids' resorts. People could then fly EasyJet with hand luggage only, buy their outfits in the resort, and leave them there on departure. The money they save on hold bags should cover their t-shirts and leggings requirements!!

The way to utilise the Primark brand is simple. Be choosy, select the stuff which will last,both from a fashion perspective and durability, and mix and match them with other more accepted high street or designer outfits. That way you will be dressed individually and at reasonable cost. I buy their mens fashion trousers, but avoid the blue chinos, as they have a tendency to go green after washing, and their cashmere sweaters can last a season. Otherwise I treat Primark like a fancy dress shop. Suits you Sir!