Snow White

I pranged the car this morning......I pulled over to the hard shoulder, well browned off, the guy in front did the same. When he got out of the car I could not believe it, he was a midget!
He stormed over to me and shouted "I am not happy"
"OK", I said, "which one are you?" That's when the fight started........

'Tis the season to be jolly.......

The Christmas cards are starting to fall through the letter box, I had a big influx this weekend. From the middle of quite a lot of them fell the mass produced Christmas Round Robin. I have nothing against this an approach for people to update their chums with news, and I guess you could say this blog is a drip feed of the same information.

What I find strange though is that they are all so happy. People go away for numerous holidays in really posh parts of the world, as do their children, all of whom are doing jolly well in their chosen careers. Everyone is in good health, happily married and looking forward to grand kids, and they always end with the obligatory 'do come and visit' invitation.

Well, I'm sorry, but where is all the doom and gloom........

"Hello, welcome to our annual Christmas Round Robin. I hope you all enjoy our annual summary of the year, although we have to say this has been yet another shit one. Rodney was made redundant early on, as part of the downsizing work at the DWP, and being a civil servant you would have thought he would have been buffered from the cock up at the Child Support Agency, but no such luck. Why they are still looking for those missing disks is beyond me, as some Russian IP address based villain has whizz several thousand out of our savings account. Now that money was reserved for our Waynes wedding to Natalie and that has now had to be put on hold, meaning the baby will arrive out of wedlock, so to speak. Darren is fine though, we visited him last week, and he now has a job in the kitchen which should get him extra turkey come Christmas Day. He is expecting to be transferred to a facility nearer to home next year so we are all looking forward to that. The house is still a disaster zone, although the floors and walls have been tiled and plastered. We do have to wait another three months though before we move back in. The stream has been diverted but its all a bit like shutting the door after the horse has bolted. I must admit I will not be sad to see the back of the ruddy caravan. I don't think we will be using it for our holidays again as the memories will be too painful. Still I now have the festivities to plan for, although what with the Christmas Club going tits up and Northern Rock threatening to fore-close on us I am not sure what I will be able to get in. Still its the thought that counts isn't it? So enough from us, you know we would love to see any of you who want to visit us here in Leicester, the inter-racial street warfare seems to have settled down, and we are allowed out after dark once more, so can get to the pub and the Indian takeaway on the corner has introduced a delivery service, turkey madras, sprout marsala and parsnip rice are doing a roaring trade.. Seasons greetings to you and yours. Rodney and Doreen"

Still if the Queen can go public on her Annus Horribilis why not a few more people?

'I can see your house from here'

Talk about having ones head in the clouds! Last night I joined a few colleagues in Manchester at the sky bar in the Deansgate Hilton. The bar is on the 23rd floor of the Bechtel tower and for some reason we got out of the lift and turned right into the executive section. Everything was free, as well as the view.

You could not quite see Liverpool but I bet it was not by much.The hostess let us into the plebs bit so we could do the 360 degree vista thing, and although it was a pay bar, a view is a view.....the eye candy was definitely better though, as was the selection of ales. Definitely a place to try another night.

Now it got me thinking then about a few sky bars I have visited previously. The Empire State and the World Trade centre certainly had the views, but sadly no bar, and I remember a bar in San Fransisco at the top of a financial institution which was pretty spectacular. Plymouth has a good bar on the top of the Holiday Inn on the Hoe, which has great views over Plymouth Sound.

I also once went to the Top of the Tower restaurant in the old BT Tower in London prior to the IRA blowing it up. The restaurant subsequently shut. Unfortunately we went when the miners strike was on in the early seventies, so London was pretty much blacked out!! The Peak restaurant in Hong Kong was also pretty spectacular although I think HK looks better from the sea than from above.

Final place of note was an Indian restaurant in New York which looked over Central Park but much like London in the blackout, there is not much to see in Central Park at night!! So, for the moment I think the Manchester Hilton takes the biscuit. After all you can actually look down on Granada Studios and the set of Coronation Street!!

Bing Crosby

The Christmas theme seemed to take me over this weekend, and it all involved London stuff.

I think its true that the majority of Londoners only do the sights and famous places when they have friends to show round. Its all there on our doorsteps but we never take the time to visit. I can't remember the last time I saw the crown jewels, although I know I have. Likewise a visit to Westminster Abbey, Westminster Cathedral or St Pauls are distant memories.

So this weekend we ventured out,and how pleased we were to do so. On Saturday we went to the Winter Wonderland event at Syon Park in Brentford. Now this magnificent estate is 15 minutes away from home, and while I have been to the garden centre loads of times, this was the first time I had formally entered into the grounds. The whole woodland and lakeside environment had been transformed by a subtle array of lights, lanterns, smoke machines and fountains into a truly magical kingdom, and the shrieks of delight from the children indicated what a successful job the staff had made of it all. It took us over an hour to stroll round, and while I will post some photos on here later, I do wish I had taken my pukka kit rather than used the camera phone. Ah well. The trip finished in the palm house which is a classic of its time with its domed roof, giving the appearance of a glass equivalent of the afore mentioned St Pauls.

As if one adventure was not enough, on Sunday we 'did' Hyde Park. After dark the skating rink, and funfair take on a different appearance, one which was wholly devoid of gangs of kids with hoodies, who all too often make funfairs a place of trepidation and intimidation. The traditional German Christmas market was doing a roaring trade as was the mulled wine stall!

A trip then out into Knightsbridge to view the window dressing in Harvey Nics and Harrods completed a very satisfying weekend. Only two weeks to go......bah humbug!

The Nineteen Days of Christmas

I have had a bit of a result this year. My Christmas celebrations always start with the Varsity match, either by being at Twickenham in person, or in a pub somewhere watching on the TV. From then on its trying to cram as many Christmas do's and celebrations in as possible.

This year they have changed the date of the game. It was always the second Tuesday in December with a 2pm kick-off, its now the first Thursday at 4pm. So I have an extra five extra party days, and spectators at the game can have a much more leisurely luncheon before decamping to the ground. The local residents are not too impressed. They see it as another night of traffic conjestion but hey ho.

The game has lost some of its appeal as a match in recent years, with the professional game depriving both Oxford and Cambridge of the budding and current home international players who used to grace the sides. Nowadays there is the odd colonial cap who is doing a PhD or similar, otherwise it is well meaning under-graduates given the biggest stage in the game on which to perform. As an event though, it continues to get good support from students, graduates and hangers-on from the City. I probably fall into the last category.

Now where is my diary, I still have a few dates to fill up.

Splash it on all over!

As we are now into December I am allowed to talk about or mention Christmas. Its a timing deadline which I have tried for years to drum into the kids, in an effort to maintain some of the magic and mystery of this special time of year.

Department stores and television advertisers would have us believe that the pre-Christmas period starts soon after the January sales, but none of it!!

So off I went yesterday to do a bit of Christmas shopping, and one thing which caught my eye was the number of celeb's who now have their own brand perfume. And what names....David Beckham has called his 'Instinct', WAGS tend to go for their won names as I guess its too difficult for them to be imaginative, so 'Coleen' and 'Alex' mix with Katie Price's 'Stunning' on the shelves of the Chav stores of choice. Kylie Minogue called her fragrance 'Darling' and Cliff Richard has a brand called 'Miss You Nights'. The mind boggles.

So I wonder what other people might call their own perfume, and what I might select for mine?

Tony Blair could call his 'Corruption' and Gordon Brown, 'Sleeze', although 'Sweaty Sock' would give the marketing people an equally big challenge. Gillian Gibbons would probably be ill advised to call her perfume ' Mohammed'. I suggest Gordon might have been more appropriate name, for the teddy, and maybe 'lash' for a perfume.

John Darwin, the missing canoeist, might try 'Spray' or 'Forgetful' and James Hamilton might like 'Vroom'.

As for me, well, 'Mist' comes to mind although I am sure there is already one of those out there. Alternatively, 'Stormy', 'Precipitation' or 'Snowdrop'?