Overheard in a pub....

"My wife didn't like it when I started losing my hair so she bought me a toupee. Then she paid for me to have dental work to straighten my teeth. Then she said I was too small so she bought me a pair of raised shoes for my birthday and then she decided glasses did not suit me and insisted I wear contact lenses. After than she said I was overweight and narrow shouldered so she got me a corset and a jacket with padded shoulders for Christmas and last week she left me because she said I'm not the man she married."