Hammer and Sickle

I have just spent the Summer Bank Holiday reconditioning a shed in my back garden.

A shed is an integral part of a married mans armoury, and it will show definite strength of character if, when asking for either of our daughters hand in marriage, the individual concerned can appreciate a regard for garden sheds, and the understanding of all that they represent. Otherwise it might show a lack of understanding for the need to retreat, at certain times during a relationship to maintain ones sanity.

I am lucky enough to have three sheds. One is appropriately called a bike shed, and by its very nature is long and thin. Apart from room for two, maybe three, bikes it also houses miscellaneous tools and decorating materials.

In the main shed I have incorporates a work surface, vice and storage racks onto which I place items which I might just have a use for ten or fifteen years down the line. The drawers are full of half used packs of nails, balls of string and rusted hand tools, many inherited from family members or neighbours who are having a clear out. Old tools I find are a bit like business cards, not always welcome but once received, rarely thrown out.

It is disappointing that my shed does not have a window, although I have installed power so I can read long into the night or watch the TV from the battered old armchair which sits majestically in one corner. It is these three items which form the fundamentals of life in the garden shed so that when in residence, either through choice or as a tactical withdrawal, home comforts can be close at hand. Mobile phones have even meant a walkie talkie system is not now needed for those 'any chance of a cuppa tea?' type conversations.

The third shed I have is actually a Wendy House, and it was part of the furnishings and fittings which came with our purchase of the bigger house. It was this shed I was refurbishing. The weather has taken its toll on it, so part of the floor, the bottom side panels and the decorative entrance all needed repair or replacement, and a coat of paint. It now looks almost new. As we have no young children to make regular use of the Wendy House, it is used to store garden chairs, games and golf stuff.

Its greatest asset though is that it has an upper floor, which in times of great stress can be furnished with a mattress and used as an overnight sleeping venue.

It has already been put to the test by number two son who holds the world record for losing door keys and has therefore been known to kip in the shed until such time as somebody comes home, when asked how it was, he replied 'okay'.......oh the joy of youth.