Three sisters

Cor! I think I overdid it a bit in the Gay Gordon's at the wedding, my back is killing. Anyway, we have arrived at our last destination to sleep in the fourth bed in a week. I haven't done that since I was in my thirties!!

The last two days we have been in an Airbnb near Loch Ness to do some sight seeing but to honest it was all about disappointing. The pubs were shut and food sources were scarce so we made the best of it before a better day today.

We went to Fort Augustus to see the Caledonian canal then followed that to Fort William. Unfortunately Ben Nevis was shrouded in mist and driek but the trip through Glen Coe to Crieff was very spectacular.

We are now settling down before the Hogmanay celebrations begin although I may sit out the Ceilidh this time!!

The Scottish Highlands are hugely sparse and I wonder what they would hope to gain from independence. It would be interesting to see if the geographic split of the voting focused on the big cities as the hotbed of separation.

So this my last post of the year, another which has disappointed numbers wise, so lets see If I can be more interesting in 2019. Happy New Year to all my readers, thanks for sticking at it.

The light fandango

We made good time to Inverness, which allowed SWMBO sufficient time to put her game face on before we got to Achnagairn Castle for the wedding of Ross, aka Llama, and Bryony.

The day went well. Ross used to be in the English National Choir and has maintained good friendships with many of his colleague singers. They are at the wedding end bloc, so the choir was amazing during the service and also later at the reception when they did an impromptu carol concert in the garden.

The wine and beer flowed but I deny that was why I took a tumble during one of the ceilidh band fast numbers, stripping the willow. We got to bed in good order and were raring to go the next day as we dropped number two son off at the station.

We then spent the day sightseeing in Inverness. We visited the castle which was scene of many a bloody battle, and a few gruesome executions, the old town and Victorian market before travelling back along the banks of Beauly Firth. Tomorrow we are off to Glen Affric before a spot of monster hunting on Loch Ness.

Might have a curry tonight though as the village is a bit quiet!!

Northern Lights

Christmas day passed off well enough. A trip first thing to check on my mother was followed by hoots of joy at home as the ankle biters tore open their presents. They seemed to be happy with their lot, as did their parents. I got golf related gifts which are always well received.

Dinner was quiet this year with only four adults, but SWMBO still managed to cater for the usual 20 people! We have been eating turkey and ham sandwiches on our way to Perth, just to use the excess up.

Perth you may ask!! Yes we are half way up Scotland after a five hour car journey. Tomorrow we need to be in Inverness for a 13:00 wedding in a castle in the Highlands. That means a very early start and we are just fortunate there is no snow forecast.

A friend of number two son is getting wed. He is best man and we are honoured guests so could not cry off, even with what is happening at home.

We have a Scotland road trip planned on the way back and are hopeful we can complete it. Number one son and family are coming to Scouseland for New Year so we can catch up with them again.

So stay tuned as we continue to venture furtherNorth than I have ever been!

Family time

Quite mixed emotions over the last few days in the Weathers household. Last weekend SWMBO and I took number one grandchild, Ava, to visit her cousin, Sofia, in Switzerland where number one son and partner have recently moved to.

There was no snow which was  a shame, but the girls went skating, something Ava had never done before, and they thoroughly enjoyed that. Grandad tried his best but was pretty second rate really!!

We had a fine time at the Geneva Christmas market, and a very enjoyable meal in the local village restaurant. We all tried frogs legs and some excellent Swiss wine, before going up a cable car the next day, over the border in France. Again weather conditions were against us, so there was no sign of Mont Blanc above the clouds. Everybody had a good time and we returned home in good spirits to get ready for Christmas.

That, though, was when things turned. Last Monday my mother rang to say she was unwell, dizzy and a bit disoriented, so we had to ring the paramedics. We kept her out of hospital only because SWMBO was prepared to do the night shift and sleep on the sofa in her apartment. The next day after we had left she phoned to say she had had a fall so the paramedics were called again.

This time we took her to our home but it became evident we could not provide the care and support she needed over a 24 hour period. Through one of SWMBO's friends we were able to book mum into a nursing home for two weeks restbite to see if she could regain enough confidence to go self sufficient again. I was shocked how quickly she degenerated after having the fall. The first spell of dizziness was as  a result of her taking the incorrect amount of medication but she is now confused and vulnerable.

I saw her today and she seems to be resigned to some time away from home, it will be difficult when we need to tell her it will be more permanent if she cannot fend for herself. An old peoples home is her worst nightmare, and I had always promised I would not let her go to one, but two days trying to care for her showed us it was impossible either at her flat or in our home.

We are hoping she can join us for Christmas Day, but, if not, at least she will not be alone, she is getting three meals a day, has the company of the staff and can choose whether to join in the activities which the care home arrange for them.

It's not the build-up to Christmas we had anticipated but we will make the best job of it we can, as the challenges of young and old all have to be catered for. Talking of catering, I feel a mince pie coming on, ho! ho! ho!

Lost and found

I never know where the time goes as I struggle to keep posting on here. Nearly two months have past since my ambassadorial announcement but I have no personalised golf bag picture to post yet. The frontispiece is on its way in the post apparently.

Most of the last few weeks have been hectic for SWMBO as her mum went into hospital for a 'big C' operation. It seems to have gone well but SWMBO and her sis have been sharing caring duties in Formby leaving me home alone.

So I have been golfing and more golfing, but then, disaster. I think I left my car unlocked one night and blow me, one of Birkenheads finest on a speculative mission for pocket change stumbled upon my golf clubs in the boot of my car. Sunday morning and they were gone!!

PC Plod is not really too bothered with minor theft these days, they just give you a crime number for insurance reasons. That should have been good for me as I have loads of insurance. Not so, though. The golf specific insurance only covers you for critical hours. That is from the time you leave your house with the clubs, until you return, so I was buggered there. The house contents insurance has a supplementary cover for valuables away from the home, but I do not subscribe to that, and the car insurance does not cover theft from the vehicle, full-stop. So that was that.

One ray of sunshine, however, involved my golf bag. That had my name on it, and did not represent a sales opportunity, so the tea leaf dumped that in a neighbours garden and I was able to retrieve it. That saved a few bob in replacement charges.

I now have a new set of irons, some old clubs from the shed, and await my new driver which should be here sometime this week. I got some good deals so the replacement cost has not been too high. I will just have to switch the heating on a month later this year!!

A big shout out to ForeGolf in Chester too. Their man spent 90 minutes with me in the trial facility trying different makes of club with different lofts and shafts. If the driver I have selected goes as well on the course as it did there I may be single figures next season.

Saturday past, SWMBO and I back to backed Halloween parties, firstly with the ankle biters at number one daughters and then at the golf club. I think our outfits went down well, although I was unsure whether I was a Draconian character or an Elvis impersonator!!

This weekend is fireworks and the start of the Autumn rugby internationals. I look forward to meeting the S Club for the New Zealand game. Interestingly NZ are staying at our hotel in Teddington so I have some laxative tablets at the ready for their muesli. I will be happy if England win three out of four, but that is going to be a tall order.

Final point of interest, number one son is back in London putting finishing touches to his house before it gets rented out, we have booked to go to Geneva now before Christmas and hope to take number one grandaughter with us. It is all go at the moment, especially as we have just had a group staying with us for Airbnb.

Winter wedding in Scotland is the next trip to plan, so far I have got us to Inverness by 27th December but only back as far as Fort William. Watch this space.

Mr Ambassador

Golf has been good to me over the years. ProAm gigs at Carnoustie with Alasdair Forsyth and Cog Hill with Lucas Glover, together with a victory in the BMW dealer day Championship at Turnberry are the top highlights on my CV.

Those events have now been joined by the news on Friday that I have been appointed a Srixon golf ambassador. Srixon are a big player in the golf ball market and have recently launched a new range of golf clubs. Their subsidiary, Cleveland are market leaders where wedges are concerned. They own Dunlop in the Far East and market their golf balls there as XXIO.

So, I am now part of a big family. I get a personalised golf bag, loads of hats and a years supply of balls. I obviously need to keep publicising Srixon on my Twitter feed and in or on any other sources I can. My name is joined on the bag by Virgin Atlantic Frequent Flyer and the @GolfingSwingers logo's

There is still a chance to qualify for a place on the European team for a trip to Las Vegas to play against the Rest of the World, but I think realistically my race is run this year and I need to refocus on 2019, series 16.

So it's off to sit by the front door and await the postman.

Wet Wet Wet

A long weekend in London to take in some cricket, sights and restaurants did not quite go to plan as the weather gods continued to plague our time away from Scouse.

We had rain in Barbados, more rain in the Seychelles and even more rain, but colder, in Mauritius. Why should we not be surprised then when the first day of the test match at Lords was rained off without a ball being bowled?

This was the first full day wash out for 17 years and I suspect we were there for that one too. 1963 seems a long time ago since my first visit. Next year the Australians visit in what will be my 56th year. I wrote this piece in 2013

So when it rains at Lords all roads lead to  Crockers where we met old  friends and got squiffy. Next day we got caught in the mother of all storms on the SouthBank and got soaked so all in all the sightseeing did not go too well either.

We did manage a couple of good meals though. The first was in the Quality Chop House at the Farringdon end of Exmouth Market, the other was at old favorite, Langans, where the food seemed better than I remember it.

The hotel was not up to much but we did end the trip with cocktails in The Booking Office in the Conrad Renaissance at St Pancras Station.

No time for Grandkids, London branch as they are in Bulgarialand at the moment, but hot off the press they are moving to Switzeland at the end of the month where Mrs Bulgaria has got a new job. Number one son is sticking in there and going as well, with his firm keeping him on as a contractor. Watch this space for more news of their new adventure.

Sunshine on a cloudy day

Today is the last day of our two week adventure to the Indian ocean as part of SWMBO birthday celebrations. In tune with previous 2018 holidays, today has given us rain and high winds, but we have compensated for the lack of sunshine by having a full English at the golf club and extending our room until this evening to allow us somewhere to chill away from the busy common areas which are full of families playing Scrabble and backgammon.

The back nine on the golf course is closed and there are no buggies today so I clearly picked the best days for a thrash. Yesterday I played with a chap from Durban who was born in Liverpool but moved to SA at an early age. He has his millions filched away here in Mauritius and in the Isle of Man, and is now looking to move as the infrastructure in Africa continues to be more corrupt and fragile than Europe. The only problem he has is that the cost of living differential is not in his favour as the Rand is so weak.

We have certainly been treated like royalty here since our little challenge with the initial room allocation, and daily massages, dinner and breakfast on the beach as well as the premium all inclusive have all added to the pleasure of the stay.

Even with my surname I can't do much about the climate but I suspect it will start raining as soon as we get home.

Bronzed bodies

Well, the England team did as well as could be expected against a more experienced European outfit. I can't help comparing it to Theresa May and her attempt to make something of the Brexit process. Putting aside her remain bias, her time in the Bank of England cheque clearing division clearly did not expose her to the aggressive negotiating skills needed to deal with European politicians trained under the Charles d'Gaulle 'non' school of diplomacy.

I can well imagine Donald Trump trying to council her. He is a hard nosed businessman which is just what is needed. He says it as it is and at the moment it's a pigs ear of a project. There seems little that can be done now to keep Corbyn out of office so I look forward to 14% mortgage rates, unlimited spending and higher taxes. What our place will be in Europe by then is anybody's guess.

It's interesting that Trump thinks Boris Johnson would make a good Prime Minister and he considers him a friend. You never see them in the same room together do you?

Enough, lets get back into holiday mode. There is a Wallasey wind blowing down the beach this morning so we are on the balcony at the moment. The kite surfers are out in force so it looks a lot like New Brighton but with palm trees.

I played the back nine holes at the Heritage golf club yesterday then hit a few balls on the range. The course was a typical resort layout with generous fairways, a bit of water and well protected greens. The holes were cut so well that only a centrally directed putt found the bottom of the cup. We are eating at the golf club tonight so that should be good.

Last night we ate at the Indian restaurant which was excellent. The resort has gone very quiet as the wedding guests and others left to go home but we are happy to chill with the good food and wine keeping us going.

More golf tomorrow and hopefully Gareth and the boys can clinch the Bronze medal. If we achieve a Bronze at an Olympics people are over the moon, lets hope they see the footballers in a similar light!

Change the light bulbs.....

So the Seychelles leg of the tour has finished. The 15th hole got the the better of me over three rounds so l will watch with interest as the PGA Senior tour play the course in December. It will be an interesting logistical exercise as the hotel only holds 210 guests. They are expecting 450 players and hangers on. The De Havilland Otter only holds 17 people, and for the note of Wallasey golf club members, the course has no practise facilities.

We have now flown to Mauritius. Things have deteriorated. For a Country which has tourism as its major industry, a two hour queue to get through immigration was totally unacceptable. Half the desks were unmanned and it took an age to process people entering the island.

The Heritage Awali where we are staying then did not live up to its 5 star rating. Our sea view room looked out onto some brown worn ground which was once lawn. Behind that was the children's pool, then some beach umbrellas behind which was the sea. Not what was expected. The hotel were not overly co-operative, so I was forced to call Trailfinders at home. Even they could not get any change from the hotel.

I think it is all because their sister hotel next door is closed for a four day private Asian wedding and many guests are staying here. So we had a meal at the beach restaurant resigned to our lot. We drank wine and watched Les Bleu qualify for the World Cup final.

This morning we explored the hotel. We now have a daily massage plan in the Spa, tee times at the golf course and a meal schedule at all the restaurants. This was still a struggle even with a Premier all inclusive package.
Our day just got better though as we have just been upgraded to a  beach front room. It is actually a suite so thank you to the hotel and Trailfinders for sorting that. So now all need to do is see England do the business tonight, and nobody will need to come home early.

Here we go here we go here we go

I had parrot fish for supper last night, I had parrot fish for supper last night. Before that, of course, we watched the England football with a few other footie supporters. Beer was on offer so a few were taken. This is Winter here in the Seychelles and boy did we know it last night as the heavens opened. Just the sort of rain that's needed at home, but not here as it wiped out the TV feed for the Russia v Croatia game just as Russia went 1-0 up.

Earlier in the day SWMBO joined me in the golf buggy and took a shot at the downhill 15th featured in the last post. Her ball is somewhere in the jungle as, to be fair, is mine.  Seven balls lost between us but the green staff have kept us topped up with spares as needed. One more round to try to hit the green on 15 and to improve my eclectic, then off to Mauritius for holiday part 2.

Today is a chill day and tan top-up but still a bit overcast. We have become minor resort celebs as we have had extended loan of the golf buggy for a couple of days while everybody else has to walk. Might hit the gym this afternoon though!!

I had parrot fish for supper last night.

Soixante

Like the Queen, SWMBO has had several days celebrating her birthday, but today is her official one. We started with a champagne breakfast with cards and presents from friends and family, then we went our separate ways. I went off to play golf. Heartless swine I hear you say, but all will be explained. SWMBO went to the beach and had a wonderful few hours doing nothing.

I thrashed round the Lemuria resort course and it was a reasonable test. The front 9 was flat with a few water hazards, the back 9 was brutal as it snaked through the forest towards Anse Georgette, one of the top ten beaches in the world.

After a quick change we then went back into the forest where golf met birthday.

It is what the hotel call a sundowner as we perch on the highest point of the course and watch the sunset, the fruit bats and the jungle all take on a new and different aspect. We could stay as long as we liked and they gave us a golf buggy with headlights for the rest of the evening. We enjoyed drinks at the summit from Lili and cocktails from the hotel, so the buggy driving could have been tricky!!

After a pleasant meal, the buggy is parked safely outside our villa. The looks from fellow guests was a picture as we drove it home. The clientele is mainly French so I really wish I had couple of flags of St George on the windows!

Tomorrow we will join said froggies for the football and I am sure more drink will be taken. Allez les blanc!

Birthday pens

Blimey it has been busy. On Saturday we hosted a party for SWMBO in the Racquets Club in Liverpool. It was the start of her 60th birthday celebrations, and was well organised by the children so she had to no nothing except enjoy herself. She did that right enough!

On Sunday we did bbq and cake for the ankle biters at Becky's before packing for the next bit of her birthday adventure.

So on Monday we set off on an Emirates Airbus to Dubai. A quick change into a Boeing 777 and we ended up on Mahe in the Seychelles. It was then unexpectedly quick to arrange a 20 minute transfer to our hotel in Praslin. We flew on a De Havilland twin prop Club. 15 seats and a view through the cockpit made for an interesting take off and landing.

The hotel is part of the Constance group and has the only 18 hole golf course in the Seychelles, what a surprise!! Last night though we ate then crashed hoping to wake for the Columbia v England footie. It finished at 01:30 local time so we are chilling today ready for the delights ahead. Photo's will follow!!

So Harry, Gareth and the boys give us an extra treat for Saturday afternoon. Is it really coming home?

Pitch perfect

Vicki Sparks commentary on the Portugal v Morocco match in the football World Cup has once again divided opinion. The problem the broadcasters face is simple. They want to embrace positive discrimination, as it is what they think is best for a quiet life, but women do not have the vocal attenuation to be able to add anything to a football commentary.

The BBC tried it with rugby  but it did not work and they abandoned it after one game, so please lets hope this is another one off experiment which they will realise was a mistake.

I would question the value of female pundits too but Sky Sports are using them more and more, even though they are nowhere near the standard of their female Sky Sports news reporters. Only Michelle Owen seems to meet the standard required.

So its not jobs for the boys, its what suits best, and high pitched female voices just don't fit.

New disaster hits Emmerdale

Not, not really, it is just another bit of my past which is disappearing as part of the meltdown of the traditional high street shopping portfolio. Mothercare are suffering and I know I shopped in there when number one son was on his way, Habitat used to furnish my houses in London, I purchased loads of music from HMV and who did not get kitted out in the underwear department of M & S. The real hit though, has come with the announcement that House Of Fraser are shutting a large number of stores in it's portfolio.

Beattie's in Birkenhead has been a keystone store in the Pyramid Centre for generations. It was purchased by House of Fraser about ten years ago. Birkenhead has already lost the M & S store so with this double whammy the life has been sucked out of the centre. It could very quickly become a ghost town, with charity shops and discount outlets the only surviving stores.

Plymouth, like Birkenhead, will see its store close as well. It used to be called Dingles and was the biggest single shop in the centre of Plymouth. When I was at school in Plymouth,  I was in there all the time, either with my parents buying sensible things, Christmas presents or food in their excellent top floor restaurant. Boy that was a bit treat.

When I and my chums were studying for our O Levels, we would meet at the reference library early in the morning for about 4 hours revision. It was then down to Dingles restaurant for our lunch and home to do a bit more studying. Three of the S-Club were in the group, and when we had sat our final O level examination, we decided to spend the whole day in the Dingles restaurant.

We managed to achieve that, by buying just enough food and drink at intervals which kept the staff from throwing us out!! Dingles was a Plymouth institution, and I remember Stuart, one of the S-Club, meeting some Cornish rugby supporters in Twickenham. 'I guess you can only press your noses against the window of Dingles' he said, intimating they were Country bumpkins and could not afford to shop there. That nearly caused a right to do!!

It suffered in a major fire about ten years ago, which started in the restaurant area, but it was rebuilt to its former standard and will be a sad lost to the Plymouth centre. Initial plans from British Land who own the site, indicate it could be turned into residential units with retail on the ground floor. Time will tell.

Interestingly at the time I was in Plymouth, the 'girl next door' was called Belinda Lee, she is now Belinda Earl OBE, and is style director at M & S. Let's hope her job remains secure in the churning retail marketplace.

Stoned

They say what goes around, comes around, and that certainly seems the case where the Rolling Stones are concerned. I remember their Voodoo Lounge tour in 1995 with great affection.

I had tickets for one day of their Wembley Stadium dates, and went with my next door neighbour to see all the action. I vividly remember Symphony for the Devil as a highlight, as Mick Jagger suddenly appeared near the roof of the stadium to belt out the number over most of North London.

The Stones needed to cancel one of the dates for some reason, so I was able to go again as my mate 'Dodgy' Dave Jones had tickets for the original  but could not make the reschedule. That gave me a chance to take SWBMO to Wembley as I was still in the impressing phase of our relationship. I enjoyed it as much as the first gig and she, too had a great evening.

How time flies. Now the Stones are touring again, although Charlie Watts still had time to visit the Oval yesterday to take in some cricket. So 23 years after that last gig at Wembley, our two girls were thrilled to go to Old Trafford last week to see the old gits banging out their stuff again. No standing on the pitch for them though as new man on the block got some swish tickets in the posh seats. They loved it, as did we all those years ago.After all, it's only rock 'n roll.........

Absent friends

On a Southern softie tour at the moment. I am playing golf tomorrow at Westerham in Kent.It is a memorial day from Andy Richardson who was a leading light in the Algarve golf society and who died suddenly earlier this year. He is the fourth member of the original 16 to be no longer with us.

As a tribute I spent a bit of time putting together a photo book covering all 21 years of the trips. During the information gathering I found out two wives have sadly died recently too. It illustrates how fragile we are.

The photo book was a struggle too. Twenty years ago mobile phones rarely took good photo's, and more recently people took photo's on their phones and either lost them or deleted them. Still I managed to fill 80 pages with the help of Chairman Dick and a few others who dug out some hardcopy photo's, records and songs.

We plan to present Richo's family with a copy which I hope they will like.

Getting here, I have played in the Twickenham RFC past players v present players match. The present players, the 'hero's, won 4.5-3.5 to regain the trophy but myself and Phil Coles won our match 9 & 7. Too little though.

I then stayed a couple of nights with 'off the record' Dick and met up with Stanley making three of the S Club 5 together and fairly sober!

Today I caught up with an old friend Ray Dudman, again, on the golf course and we chatted all things work, retirement and rugby. Ray had a distinguished rugby career with Harlequin's, London Division and the Barbarians and would turn out occasionally for Twickenham when he was returning from injury. He got the better of me today but I think he might struggle around Wallasey if we can factor in a return match.

So a hectic week, back to Scouse Friday and it all starts again up North.

Walking with giants

As promised a few photo's from the Barbados gig, and where better to start than with the top man.  The four of us featured in the photo, have one thing in common which  I suspect nobody else at the presentation party had. All four of us were at Lord's cricket ground in the Summer of 1963. Two of us were trying to knock Ted Dexter's head off, one was egging them on from silly mid-on, and the other one was sat in the stand with his Dad watching his first ever live test match.

Three of them are now knighted and it was a real privilege that they sat to allow me to have this photo shoot. Sir Wes Hall can't move around too much these days so the pose was for his benefit really. Sir Charlie Griffiths and Sir Gary Sobers are much more sprightly and have a few yarns to spin. The three of them remind me of my chums in the S Club and how we meet up a few times each year and talk the same rubbish we have talked about for nigh on 50 years.

Gordon Greenidge was playing in my handicap group and was good enough to have his photo taken, the shadows were a bit tricky though. That said Sandy Lane was in top shape again this year, it was just a pity not to do it justice.

But finally,  the Caribbean would not be complete without a wonderful sunset, so, thats all folks!

Caught on the boundary

Our trip to Barbados is nearing the end. We have tried to pack too much into the week really as a relaxing vacation and four rounds of medal golf are mutually exclusive!

The Tamarind hotel has been fine. It's on the Platinum coast at Payne's Bay and has received good reports from SWMBO. That is what I had hoped, as my first choice, Discovery Bay, had her complaining about all the poor TripAdvisor comments. I changed without telling her and she is still none the wiser and is now less likely to take TripAdvisor as gospel! She doesn't  follow this bog so it's just our little secret readers!

We have had a few new restaurants to try out. The Cliff beach club was at the high end and was very enjoyable experience. Starlets and Zuccio were good as was the food in Cariba, it just lacked any atmosphere. Finally a mention to the Sea Cat, a rum shack type fish restaurant which was very good and reasonably priced.

The weather has been great, and better than expected which was ideal for the golf. Four rounds of medal golf is the game the pro's play every week, but for mid handicap players it is tough and unforgiving.

I started with two rounds of 92 at the Barbados golf club and Royal Westmoreland which after handicap was 2 x 78. I lost five balls which cost me 10 shots and had me mid- table in my handicap flight, 14 off the lead. The pro's always call Saturday moving day as it proved to be for me. I hit an 84, net 70 around Apes Hill, to put me one off the lead going into Sunday.

It was probably my greatest ever competitive round of golf culminating with a birdie 4 on the last hole and a gross 39 for the last nine holes. I was actually 4 over par for the final 10 holes. I was drained at the end of it, but had had great encouragement from my playing partners,  Duncan, Jessie and Diaz. They all appreciated how much it meant to me.

Sunday arrived and I quickly learnt how golf can gain revenge. I was in the last group out. We had caddies and I had no friends. I did not realise how exhausted I was from the previous day, so after hanging in there for four holes, a 12 at the next put me out of contention and contributed to a 'no return'. As it happened somebody came out of the pack with a net 64 to win it. I had my moment of glory thouh so now need to translate the form into some solid Summer golf. It's Walton Heath in Surrey on Friday and a  big Virgin Atlantic Knock Out at Wallasey next week.

I will post some pictures from the presentation night with Sir Gary Sobers tomorrow.

To finish on a lighter note, I am having the house painted while we are away, SWMBO doesn't know about that either. I hope Argyle green is to her liking!!

Alphabet soup

I was taken by this amusing article by Oliver Pritchett in a recent Daily Telegraph post. Clearly the positively correct police have missed a trick here.

Something must be done about the international alphabet: the one that goes Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, and so on. It is disgracefully inappropriate and it perpetuates sexism every time it is used – by airline pilots, mini-cab despatchers and people at call centres trying to spell your name.

It is totally unacceptable that this alphabet features only one female name, Juliet, woefully outnumbered by Charlie, Mike, Oscar, Romeo and Victor. If that is not bad enough, there’s the blatantly paternalistic Papa.

It’s significant, of course, that Foxtrot and Tango are two dances in which, traditionally, a man takes the lead. Then there’s Golf, a male-dominated sport and one that must fail most inclusivity tests.

I am also unhappy about Alpha and Delta, as they are likely to make people feel excluded if they weren’t fortunate enough to study Greek at school. Alpha may also suggest “alpha male,” of course, while Bravo smacks of un-called for triumphalism. Uniform, meanwhile, has a whiff of distasteful militarism.

Roger that!

The alphabet is also in the news now that the Royal Mint has produced a new set of ten pence coins featuring on each one a letter depicting the best of British. The selected items are as follows:

Each letter represents iconic things or place in Britain

• A – Angel of the North
• B – Bond…James Bond
• C – Cricket
• D – Double Decker Bus
• E – English Breakfast
• F – Fish & Chips
• G – Greenwich Mean Time
• H – Houses of Parliament
• I – Ice-Cream Cone
• J – Jubilee
• K – King Arthur
• L – Loch Ness Monster
• M – Mackintosh
• N – National Health Service
• O – Oak Tree
• P – Post Box
• Q – Queuing
• R – Robin
• S – Stonehenge
• T – Teapot
• U – Union Flag
• V – Village
• W – World Wide Web
• X – X Marks the Spot
• Y – Yeoman
• Z – Zebra Crossing

It's as easy as ABC

Ground control to Major Tom

A first is chalked up by the blog as I publish one from outer space. Well, 35000 ft in reality from the bubble on a Virgin Atlantic jumbo. We have exit seats to boot so even the premier economy passengers are looking enviously at us.

We are returning this year for the Sir Gary Sobers festival of golf, as I try to improve on my mid-table finish last year. Gordon Greenidge, the West Indian opening bat is in my handicap category so there is an incentive to do well.

I have watched Paddington 2, the movie, on the plane and was interested that they used the Kilmainham jail as the backdrop to his incarceration. It also featured in the original Italian Job, and we did the tour when we were in Dublin for the rugger some years ago.

We are staying on the West coast this year to save time on the golf course transfers. Forest round is Thursday and there is rain forecast. Just like home.

OAP

Wow, March has just flown by. It started with an almost significant birthday as I reached the ripe old age of 65. I only celebrate when the year ends in zero, but I was coerced into a family do, as much because the grandkids like to blow out the candles.

So, we all sat down in The Refreshment Rooms for a Sunday lunch as luckily my birthday fell on a Sunday. We all had a good time, everybody enjoyed themselves and I am a year older. Tim came up for a few days from London sans children so we were able to have a few drinks as well which was good.

I applied for my pension to the DWP as you are asked to, but nothing has arrived, so I had to call them. They told me some applications had gone missing at about the time I applied. Lucky I rang really as they clearly have no check and balance for these sort of eventualities. The pension is paid in arrears, so I should get it as expected in a day or two.

March has also provided a couple of Six Nations rugby games. We travelled to Paris to see England fail to beat France, and we were at Twickenham for the anti-climatic end game against Ireland. In both cases the matches were the low point of the weekend . We stayed at The Farmers Club in Covent Garden as way of a change for the Ireland game and it was good to escape Twickenham after the match and enjoy a few drinks elsewhere.

Unfortunately we had two Chinese meals, which, coupled with the birthday celebration and a trip to Paris has stalled my weight loss campaign...couple of pounds added on this month!!

The beginning of the golf season has also stalled due to the bad weather, so my scramble to get six qualifying cards into the Virgin Atlantic golf competition and win a goodie bad, has been delayed somewhat.
Hopefully I can get it all done by Monday. There is a trip to Vegas as the prize for the best golfers this season so I must use the golf lesson presents I got wisely!!

Easter has now come and gone. It was a quiet one this year, with a bit of gardening and jovial evenings out to crown a pretty good month.

I have embraced Twitter now so you can follow me here if you want to, although at the moment its not too interesting!!
Just click on the Twitter follow button top right and after that I don't know what happens!!

100000

After a very alcoholic two days, Maxine and I have booked into The Priory. It's not all it sounds though. Our eldest, Tim, came up from London to help me celebrate my 65th birthday yesterday, so we had a few on Saturday night and carried on through yesterday afternoon and evening. We embraced the Refreshment Rooms for a spot of lunch to break it all up. It was a very enjoyable day, Becky made a fab cake modelled like a golf course which got finished off this morning at the golf club.
Number 2 son, Kieran, joined us later in the pub having been to London to run the BigHalf with Mo Farah and co. He did a commendable time of 1hour 44 minutes and had a very aesthetic medal to show for his efforts. Tim went back this morning so next challenge was a wedding in Inverness in late December!!

That's where the Priory came in. The wedding is on 27th December in Achnegairn Castle for which the wedding party has exclusive use for a couple of nights. We would like to stay a bit longer hence the need to find an alternative hotel. That's sorted now so on to next challenge which is to find somewhere near Perth to stay Boxing Day night. Don't you love weddings.

With all this inclement weather around if it hits Inverness in December there may not be a wedding.

We had drama this week as one of our overflow pipes froze and we had a second swimming pool appear on the kitchen floor. Luckily we are blessed with an excellent plumber so the damage was contained in the end to a bit of water staining to the ceiling. Still some repairs to make to the water tank but they should be fairly routine. What was not funny was trying to de-ice the pipes at 11o'clock at night!!

This entry signals the end of another month of diet change. I managed to weigh in at under 100kg this time which in old money is 15st 9lbs, a weight which I have not been for a long time. SWMBO informs me that I was 14st 8lbs when I met her in 2001. I know I was 12st 8lbs when I left school. Getting under 15st will suit me, although I am already starting to look a bit scrawny so just need to do things gradually.

Another significant milestone was achieved this morning as the car ticked over to 100000 miles. It is probably the first car I have had that has reached that milestone from new. It was born in 2009 so its only 12000 miles a year which is below average. Hopefully it's got a few more years left in it. It needs a service soon so lets see what the garage think about it all.

So on we go now to March, a month of rugby matches, golf dinners and the odd bit of exercise. I will be please to see no weight gain when next I venture onto the scales!

Is there life on Mars?

I wonder if David Bowie had the answer? I hope there is as I might need somewhere else to live soon. This Country is going sterile!

Would you rather be rescued by a hairy arsed male fire fighter or a buxom female fire fighter. Now there you are I am already trapped in the world of political correctness, and to a lesser extent, positive discrimination.

A fireman is now a fire fighter, a linesman is now an assistant referee and a policeman is now a police officer.  Chairman is shortened to Chair, a postman has become a postal worker and a sex worker is the new name for a prostitute, or hooker.

That leads me seamlessly onto The President's Club gentlemen's evening at The Dorchester Hotel.  As a result of a Financial Times reporter attending as an undercover hostess ( no pun intended) the event has been portrayed as a debauched and lewd occasion with the emphasis on the exploitation of the waitresses and hostess by rich and privileged male attendees. The President's Club has subsequently shut itself down and will be holding enquiries in the behaviour of it's members.

I am perplexed as to why the FT should suddenly want to model itself on the exploits of Fiona Richmond and her colleague in Men Only, who were always following up a juicy sex story before ending their reports as they got to the nitty gritty,  with  'I then made my apologies and left', leaving the reader to only imagine what might have happened next.

I am also surprised that after 33 years, this event has been given the focus it has. I suspect the waitresses were paid much more than the minimum wage to be there, at least £150 being reported. The number of them involved indicates that many will have waited on at the event before, and no previous complaints of sexual harassment, or improper behaviour, have hit the press. Why suddenly now has it all come to a head.

Close on the heels of this expose, World darts announced it would stop having walk-on girls making an entrance with the darts players, and there are calls for boxing to stop using scantily clad girls to parade the board in the ring between rounds.  Do these initiatives spell the end of the road for the Tiller Girls, the Folies Belgere or the Roxettes.

I do fear for this antiseptic society where every kid is portrayed as being a winner, even when they come last, where the male v female divide is fast becoming blurred or optional. Are we really teaching sex change education to teenage children. Alpha males need to let off steam,  be that as part of sports teams, in tough muder challenges or at gentlemen's smoking evenings, to use an old fashioned description. Girls, women, ladies all need to understand that. They, themselves,  now play rugby, football and cricket  in numbers well in excess of those of their parents and participate in their own kind of horseplay afterwards. They have hen nights attended by buff butlers. Good luck to them.

All I wish is a  bit of common sense in the modern world, and some pushback at the vocal minorities who hate to see people enjoying themselves in a way they don't approve of, or using old fashioned language in the way it was designed.

It's not rocket science, but if it is, then can I go to Mars please?

You've lost two pounds?

I won't tell you the punch line from the Peter Kay joke above, but suffice to say that SWMBO and I are trying to lose some weight. 'Are you on a diet?' people say, and it just once again illustrates problems with basic language.

Yes, we are on a diet, but we are always on a diet, and so is the rest of the population. All we have done is modify our existing diet, so it becomes a new diet. Diet, though, seems to be associated with a radical change of eating habits, which is not always the case.

That said, I have not had a pie, chips, cakes, sweets or chocolate now for a month. We have removed white bread and pasta form our diet ( see what I mean) and are eating more fruit, drinking more fresh juices and have cut down our alcohol consumption.

Will it work? Well weighing day is just round the corner and the first time usually indicates some weight loss as the excess fluid is the first thing to go. February and March will be a bit of a tester with rugby trips and such like scheduled, so time will tell.

While I am on my language hobby horse, 'the player has pace' is another expression which annoys me. We all have pace, just some people have a quick pace and others a slow pace. 'The player is quick' or  ' he shows a good turn of speed' better describe what people are trying to say.

Whatever you do, don't get me onto 'simplistic' when 'simple' will do, or.........

I think I need a lie down!

January monthly review

Christmas has passed and the Hillhouse occupants have eased into the New Year. Both girls, Emma and Becky have new homes to furnish and manage as they seem to have got themselves settled into other areas of the Wirral. Emma's girls have settled into Birkenhead High School Academy so SWMBO only has Emilie to look after during the day, although school pick-up duties are still required.

Wallasey golf club continues to see far more of me than I had planned, but with a relatively mild Winter, the links have stood up well, and the sandy subsoil enables ma and my fellow members to play any day we wish. Neighbouring clubs on clay bases are struggling with courses or sections of courses closed for days on end. As a result, the applications for membership has escalated and there is now a waitlist as well as a sizeable one-off joining fee when looking to become a member.

SWMBO has a significant birthday this year, so I am whisking her off to the Seychelles and Mauritius  later in the year. We have never been to the Seychelles, as much because I have always felt it would be a bit too relaxed with little to do, as for any other reason. You will not be surprised when I say that the hotel I have found has the only 18 hole golf course in the Seychelles, so I thought that would be ideal. We stay there a week and then travel to Mauritius for a week for a bit of pampering and, oh yes, more golf!!

As a warm up I have again entered the Sir Gary Sobers golf festival in Barbados in April, and as way of a change we are staying on the West coast so we can sample the delights of The Cliff, Tides, Daphne's and Sandy Lane, as well as Holetown and Ape's Hill.

We might try and schedule some decorating while we are away as SWMBO thinks the paintwork is getting a bit tired!

The London branch did not make it up North for Christmas, so we are trying to fit in trips in both directions to meet up, but with term time commitments it is not easy to get them all together. Tim, though, is hoping to get to Liverpool for my 65th in a few weeks time. I am waiting to see how much the government are going to give me for getting old!!

As we move towards February, and the start of the international rugby season it will be time to meet up with a few old mate's and tell all the stories we have been telling for years. Some things never change!