Fore! No surely more than that?

After a few pints in the pub I am fullof ideas for blog entries. A good sleep, however, and they have all vanished from my mind the next day. As this morning I am in the unusual position of remembering them, I though I should go to print sharpish. So here goes.

Tiger Woods is used to scoring a few birdies in his day to day working life, but the 9 and counting who have come out of the woodwork claiming to have had private lessons with the main man over the years is brewing up quite a storm , and Tiger probably feels at the moment that he has shot an albatross.

The ladies he has been philanderering with (good word that...ed) have all been well pubicised and will no doubt do kiss and tell for months to come.

What I want to know, though, is what part Tigers long term, and very loyal , caddy Steve Williams has played in all the goings on?

Correct me if I am wrong, but I understand the role of the caddy is to point out the projected target and indicate how far his man is away from it, he should then advise which club to use, and line his player up to the hole. He then cleans the club after the shot and puts the club back in the bag himself. He also keeps the score.

I think there is more to this than meets the eye.

Simples

The power of TV advertising is a very strange and wonderful thing. Some of the best adverts will stay with you for ages. Guinness and Carlsberg, for example, have a real heritage for advertising campaigns going back decades. Other Companies use a particular style, and, dare I say it, IBM is one such with their blue banner wide screen format.

Catch phrases such as 'not just any mince pies....' or '....three weetabix' are instant hits and make their agencies a tidy profit.So too the awful adverts which none the less leave you with an indelible image of the product in your mind. You've been Tango'd, E-Sure and pot noodle all have that cringe factor build it, but boy, we remember the adverts.

The adverts which hit the bar are, if course, the wonderfully produced efforts which fail to burn the brand into our minds. We end up extolling the virtues of the 45 seconds of great TV but have no idea what its advertising. I would give an example, but I can't remember any!!

Then there is the merchandise spin-off aspect, which is what this blog is all about really. The Esso tiger in the tank campaign in the seventies had half the nation driving round with tigers tails dangling from the rear view mirror, self raising flower men from Homepride were found in every kitchen in the land, and, the classic, of course, the Robertson's gollywogs were a class act.

Many special items are issued attached to boxes of tea, and t-shirts can be obtained for a nominal sum and a few box tops, but the latest and greatest merchandise promotion surrounds Alekandr Meerkat, the main man in the comparethemarkets.com advertising campaign.

Harrods have the sole contract for providing the dolls based on Alekandr, they have a limited edition of 5000 and were selling them at £19.95. As is the case with many such limited offers though, demand from around the world has been huge. So the owner of Harrods, in another attempt to get UK citizenship, has decided to withdraw them from sale and present them to a number of childrens charities including Great Ormond Street and the Shooting Stars Hospice. A noble gesture, and one I hope will not generate a black market on e-bay. In the meantime I will have to look for another collectible for my son, this Christmas.

All this talk of adverts reminds me of the way a cruise ship singer gauged the age of her audience. She threw out a few punch lines like bum bum bum bum.... and....you'll wonder where the yellow went.....and waited for the strength of response. Very clever, but simples.....

Strewth

I have until Friday this week to decide whether to take the offer from my Company of early retirement. They have had an early retirement window open for two weeks now and the option to leave on 5th February has been offered to me.

The changes being proposed are well documented in the public domain, and as far as I am concerned I would have needed to work until I was 62 to reap the benefits of retirement which I am being offered now. A no brainer you would think?

And so did I until an update was issued last week. Now I have had some knocks on this blogger with regard to punctuation and proof reading, but if ever an e-mail needed another e-mail to explain the first one, then this update did. It clearly was not thought through or tested out on a peer group so now the whole Company are charging round saying, do you know what this means? Do you think this applies? and getting several different answers.

As far as I am concerned it gives me a lifeline, in as much as it looks like I can work through to 60 now to get the pension I had previously budgeted for, or, in the interim, leave when I want to on terms I have time to think through. Well, at least, that's what I think it says.

It is endemic at the moment though that employers are wielding the axe wherever there is opportunity to cut costs. Vauxhall Motors up here in Ellesmere Port are still to be absolutely black and white when laying out their employment/redundancy plans. The 8000 Corus employees who have just learnt they are to be laid off had expected a better and longer stay of execution when the firm was sold a few years ago.

Then at the other end of the scale, the City bankers, many of whom would not be in a job but for the government bailing them out, are now bleating about the threat to their bonus schemes. A draconian tax on banking bonuses would be a brave move , but there are many people in the non-high street banking sector who would suffer unjustly. On many fronts, watch this space.

Bill Badger strikes again

Hasn't it been raining recently? My poor old mum in Plymouth has been battered, the Argyle game at the weekend being abandoned midway through the second half . The residents of Cockermouth in Cumbria, and Workington, up the way, have had their communities devastated by flooding. Bridges lie on the river beds they once traversed, and property and businesses have been wrecked beyond salvation. The people of Bradcaster in Cornwall will be looking up Country with every sympathy.

Imagine, then, my trepidation as I invited six rugby colleagues up to Southport of the fourth annual Dom Pedro golf tournament. November up North in the wettest November on record, not a good idea! The event is usually held mid-October in Portugal, and the name of the tournament is associated with the hotel we all stay in. I managed to win the individual and the team contest last year and had high hopes of retaining the trophies.

Things did not start off well though. Our hotel, The Prince of Wales, had booked us into double rooms as they had five coach loads of the 'grey pound' posse staying there for 'turkey and tinsel'. Z-beds were provided with the promise of room changes the next day.

We then arrived at Formby golf links as the heavens opened and dumped the aforementioned precipitation on us. On went the waterproofs, jumpers, thermal gloves and beanie hats and off we trudged.

My partner for the week, Adam, and I were playing Gareth and Bill Badger in our first round tussle. Now Bill Badger has been around the rugby club for years, he has played for most of the senior teams and has won kicking cups, golf trophies and man of the match awards consistently throughout his time there. He must be a great all rounder you may think, but no, not really.

In the same way that Scottish football teams might field A. Trialist, or B. Trialist in games to protect those players anonymity, so Bill Badger is a nom d'plume for people who go on tour and don't want to be recognised, or is a trophy winner filler in the years a pot is not played for. And so it came to be that as we were only seven on tour Bill became our eighth man.

On the first day he was represented by my father-in law, Marty, who I invited along as an early 70th birthday present. He showed his gratitude by sinking a thirty foot putt on the 17th to win 2 and 1, humf! The fact the rain cleared after three holes and we played in glorious Winter sunshine was small consolation to me.

On the second day at Formby Ladies, Bill was represented by a Liverpool acquaintance called Stu, who helped Gareth to a comfortable win, and took the day prize himself with 39 points. Saturday was again set fair and for part of the round we were playing in polo shirts it was so mild.

A night out in Liverpool in Alma d'Cuba until 3am did not sit well with the final match of the tour, played on the greens of the Hesketh club. Gareth did hang on to win again, so emulated my feat of last year winning the team and individual titles, on another rain free day.

It was great the lads travelled up to play and that they has a good time, we did agree however, that it would be back to The Algarve next year. Whether Bill is with us may well be influenced by the governments stance on bovine TB in the countryside.

Its day 1 in the big brother house

Actually its day 6, but as I sneaked back to London last week after four days up North, this is really the first full week.

The big challenge with integrating two houses is the amount of double bubble you have....three extra beds, two extra sofas, clothes, pots, pans, cutlery, glasses, pictures, books and other ephemera, my collection of menus from restaurants around the world being one such.....

So we have a bedroom full of stuff, which needs to be carefully sorted into piles. E-bay, tip and office are the three easiest clasifications to decide upon. Storage or usage are the trickiest. SWMBO has had sole storage rights for a number of years so her space needs to be protected as well.

So far the futon has gone to Emma and Lees spare room, the dressing table has replaced the falling apart MFI one, and most of the clothes have found a way into a wardrobe or three. Emma's bedroom has become the library, but there are still masses of books looking for homes, and just how many dictonaries does one need for practical purposes?

E-bay will take a hammering this week, and Chiswick Auction House has already disposed of some of the lesser art work we will fail to put on the wall....storage items are next.

Guess what though, just as we finish the sorting process we will find a flat in London and start the ' why did we throw that out debate' all over again....c'est la vie.

I told you so.....

I have been bleating on about the quality of the product on offer at Twickenham Stadium, as the England rugby team stumble from one shambles to the next. My prediction that the stadium will be half empty before the next World Cup has fallen on deaf ears as far as my chums at the RFU are concerned.

Today, however, in the Observer, Paul Hayward has taken up the theme, and I do wonder if he drinks in the Prince Blucher after the game, and has ear wigged my persistent bemoaning!

Wales and Ireland seem to be able to play exciting rugby even in adversity, England just cannot step up to the plate. I have no idea what the answer is although I do fear the lack of University educated players is on the decline as a result of professional rugby teams and their associated academy's trying to dumb down rugby intellect by brain washing the flair out of players.

The S Club 5 will continue to attend on a casual basis as the day, and indeed, the weekend continues to be a good craic, but the three Autumn Internationals are two too many for us already......I am reminded of the phone call once to Brentford FC....'Hello can you tell me what time kick-off is?......whenever you can get here Sir!'

I do good deal my friend

I have just returned from a few days in Marrakesh with some of the BMW golf group, and I must say this retirement business is beginning to have an appeal. We played three courses while out there and the contrasts were fascinating. I was sixth after day one but faded to end in the pack although a steady par round the back nine at Amalkis sent me hope with a smile.

To help the economy, caddies are compulsory, and I know know what an important tool in the professional armoury such a person can be. I had a nightmare on the second day, and, although I have nightmares when playing without a caddie, on this occasion I was in another place.

He gave me wrong clubs, walked me to tees, via the scenic route and was generally a bad vibe. All round I fought my inner self but sadly it won 3 and 2!!!

The bigger disappointment was that this was the day we played Marrakesh Royal golf club, a course laid out in 1920 by the top man of the time, and it has been graces by King Hussain, Winston Churchill and Dwight D Eisenhower

The characters on the tour were an equally eclectic bunch. There was a retired builder who had got his six numbers up, a publisher who spent a lot of time in the old Eastern Block. One of his big titles is 'Wheres Wally?' and the banter on tour suggested he was the role model for the character! Big Rod is in munitions, fabricating the personnel carriers we are sending our boys in Afghanistan and there were financiers, legal eagles, electricians and teachers. It was all very interesting.

So what of the city itself? well Sex in the City 2 was being filmed on location while we were there which will no doubt give a sight of the place when it is released. We really only saw the grand bizarre.It was big, but once you see one carpet stall you see them all, especially when none of them were the flying variety!

Its size inevitable led to my group getting lost in a 'maze of twisting little passages which all looked the same'.Our efforts to keep turning right did not work so we eventually had to pay a local to escort us back to the main square!

We then got taken by a hawker to an authentic Moroccan restaurant, so authentic in fact that it did not sell alcohol. We made our excuses and left. We found another which did, and threw in a belly dancer for free...

Marrakesh is about a three day resort which I probably would not return to in a hurry. Paraphrasing Tuffers view of India 'done the poverty, done the camels'

Ode to joy

So farewell then soft Limacon
a great theme we stumbled on.......

t'were full of slugs the slimy things
but once rid of them t'were musings

in tasteful remembrance
with a french cuisine semblance

Le Limacon est arrivee - phew!
lets have a buffet and barbecue

and the tradition lasted
while we all got plastered

and toasted the slugs on and on
(actually les limacons in translashion!)

but he's sold the house
and is moving to scouse

but in our mind's eye we'll still see
le limacon .... so r.i.p.

P Figgins aged 8 and a half.....arf.......

Going, going, gone......

I started this blog in May 2007 to chart the path I would follow as i put my house on the market. little did I know it would be two and a half years later that I would be reporting the conclusion of the journey.

Yes, I have finally exchanged on the sale and vacate the property on 6th November. I will be leaving London to live away for the first time in nearly 40 years, and will need to locate the nearest source of London Pride or Youngs Ordinary to avoid my liver going into shutdown.

Thanks goodness for the internet which will allow me to follow the local issues and sporting prowess of the team which i have followed for much of that time.

A lot of things have happened in the time the house has been on the market. Maxine and I have become grandparents, our oldest son, Tim has married, and our oldest daughter is engaged. A few friends have passed away, and we have mourned their loss.

We have travelled a fair bit it has to be said. Peru, Brazil, Egypt, Portugal, Chicago, Edinburgh, Rome. Paris and Cyprus have been on our schedule, as well as a cruise around the islands of the Mediterranean. At that should stand us in good stead now that my Company has cast me adrift by making draconian changes to its final salary pension scheme.

I met the CEO yesterday and asked him outright why I should stay in his Company. His reply was hopeless, and as a colleague of mine once said, 'when the lunatics start running the asylum, its time to leave' . I think they are, and I am. ETD is scheduled for 5th February at the moment which will make the England v Wales game at Twickenham the next day a bit of a blinder.

So the blog has fulfilled one role, and now it takes on a new one as it tracks my progress through early retirement, life in Scouserland and potentially a few entrepreneurial projects. Watch this space one may come to a road near you........

Flying the flag

'The best things in life are free' or so the saying goes. So I was delighted to hear that the London Evening Standard was to be given away from the beginning of this week.

I have always had a soft spot for the only surviving London evening paper. It used to be the source of cheap and comfortable flats when me and my chums were looking for student digs during the mid 70's. Each year we would take it in turns to be in Fleet Street at 9:30am when the first editions hit the street.it was then a mad dash to the nearest phone box to start ringing round and arranging viewings. We did pretty well, getting places in Northcote Road, Clapham, in Tooting not far from the Common and , of course, Devonshire Road in Balham, gateway to the South. Great days.

The London Paper, The Metro and the London Lite have all been given away at tube stations for many years, but they just never had the substance of the Evening Standard, nor its rival, The Evening News. The News perished in 1980 and but for a brief resurrection in 1987, the Standard has been the only local London 'pay to play' paper.

I have to confess I rarely purchased it, but now I am chasing the man at the tube up the street to get my free copy to read on the way home........

The Standard apart, London, and other cities are full of good free stuff, much of it advertised in afore mentioned rag. Most of the best museums are free, the stroll along the Thames thought the West End and the City is a delight, as are the buskers in the Covent Garden Piazza. The Festival Hall has Jazz every Friday night in its expansive foyer, as well as tea dances and other recitals, and the street markets all over London provide a wonderful photographic and cultural experience.

I have lived here 40 years and it will be hard to leave it all behind when I move away in a few weeks, but, hey, its only two hours away on the train, and with plenty of time to kill from next year I suspect the Capital has not seen the last of me, not by a long chalk....now I wonder where that expression came from?

Wilson, Kepple and Betty

Just back from Egypt and certainly notice the temperature difference. It was 35 degrees in the shade over there, so i stayed in the sun....groan. Did a bit of snorkeling which was pretty sub when compared to the fish and colours on display in Eilat just up the coast in Israel, and one of the little buggers bit me quite hard, drawing blood and leaving me with a mini jaws scar. I had fish and chips for dinner last night hoping I might be getting revenge on their Uncle or other close family member!

The place was full of Russians, as was Cyprus when we went last year, and I hear that some of the Greek islands are going the same way. I have a few phrases of Polish I can trot out as necessary, but had i known i would have learnt the Ruski for 'excuse me there is a queue' or ' no please feel free to open the door yourself'. Still the legs were quite impressive although what they see in their ex-U boat captain partners is beyond me.

We got back in time for Idwals funeral and it was a mighty turnout as had been expected. there was much singing and merriment and I am sure he would have looked down satisfied in the way his life was celebrated. During the eulogy it became evident how little people knew of his life outside the rugby club, he was a Labour candidate in the local elections, a strong charity worker and loving grandad to his extended family.....he also campaigned hard in recent years for an independent state for Palestine, so I wonder how he would of reacted to me in the suk's of Sharm al Sheik pointing out that they had left Israel off their maps of the middle East...seems they assume the Palestinians have a state of their own already!

Big Mac and large fries please......

We stayed in a Hyatt hotel while in Chicago. It was on Ronald Avenue in, wait for it, the campus of Hamburger University. This whole campus had been developed by the McDonalds Corporation to embrace their head office, training centre and local community leisure facilities.

Everything was geared towards the golden arches. The paintings and prints on the walls all had subtle, or not so subtle, images of Big Macs, Ronald himself, the arches or the produce. It was an amazing tribute to the mass market cardboard burger which has contributed so much to the American, and other countries, huge obesity problems.

So I wonder what sort of degree you get from a hamburger university?

Bachelor of Southern Style Crispy Chicken Sandwich, Master of Tarts or Doctor of The Pattie?

I'm lovin' it......

Idwal Morgan

I lost a very good friend while I was away in Chicago. Idwal Morgan and Peter Thomas, two life members of Twickenham Rugby Club, were walking together in Spain, when they were caught in a rock fall. Idwal sadly did not survive, and the effort Peter made to get assistance was admirable but unfortunately the rescue team were not able to revive Idwal. He will be sadly missed.

I first met him when I joined TRFC in 1981.he was an ex-1st XV player who was now plying his trade in the 2nd and 3rd XV, but his skill levels and commitment were evident for all to see. He only had one eye so you never knew which way he was looking or who he was looking at. This helped when he was selling dummies, or facing up to an agressive opponent when he invariably came out on top!

I have a lasting legacy from Idwal as he broke my cheekbone a few days before Christmas in the mid '80s. Christmas dinner through a straw was an interesting experience!

I also toured New Zealand with him playing in the Golden Oldies festival in Aukland. We played Maori teams, New Zealand internationals and 85 year old Japanese players, and ate and drank like kings. We returned via Hawaii where we played golf, joshed with the ladies of the night (business was quiet) and used Idwal's British Gas id card to gain entry to the most exclusive clubs and bars. He was proud of his involvement with British Gas and the joy on his face as he presented it and exclaimed in his soft Welsh brogue were a life memory.

He will leave a huge vacuum at the rugby club, and his wake will reflect the love and affection in which he was held. I often wish one could have ones wake while still alive as its often the best party you would ever go to. Idwal's will be, the members will see to that. Sleep well old son.....

Call that a half Simon?

Now a week is a long time in politics, and I think I have said that on here before, but just imagine that one weekend you are attending the Patterdale Show in the Lake District, and then paddling a raft in a race, dressed as a viking.

The next week you are teeing it up with the greatest golfer of modern times, Tiger Woods, in the BMW Championship at Cog Hill near Chicago.

Next week its Brentford v Bristol Rovers, but hey ho!!!

So first the show. Well my mucker 'Off the record' Dick has reported the events at the show and on the river here in his blog of 31st August, and a fine summary it is too. There were sheep and dogs, and shepherds and shepherdesses, if one is allowed to call them such these days. To my mind thought the best Sheep were the Black ones I consumed throughout the evening!!

I was excused duties on the raft to be honest as it was unclear whether our new design would take the weight of five of us. As Dick points out in the end it would only carry three such. Still we took part and by all accounts have kept the race alive following our pirate escapades last year.

So myself and SWMBO arrived home on the Monday to be presented with (almost) the trip of a lifetime. I got a call from the BMW golf office in London telling me there was a space at the pro-am prior to the third leg of the FedEx Cup and could I get there?

Well a quick call on Tuesday to the boss, then Virgin Atlantic and finally to Octagon in Chicago and we are both on our way. We arrived to be greeted with a chauffeur and a logo'd BMW and so it went on for the week....shopping madam? we'll drop you off, just call when you need a pickup.....off to the course sir, let us take you....and for three days BMW did us proud.

The highlight arrived on the Wednesday when I got to play the pro-am. The previous night my German colleagues and I attended the partner party where we got to choose who to play with. They fancied a European, but by the time our number came out of the hat they had all gone.

I suggested we went for Lucas Glover. That would sandwich us between Tiger and his team and Sergio Garcia. It would also give us a first tee start and Lucas is after all the US Open Champion. They went with it and that's how we got to be in reception inthe hotel at 5am with the Tiger man himself. He signed a few autographs and drove himself to the course (in a Buick!!).

We followed his group all the way round, and beat them by 4 shots, coming a creditable 4th out of 52 teams, but sadly just outside the prizes. All in all though, a great day, which I shared with Lucas Glover, my caddie Joe, a Chuck Evans Scholar, and a few hundred other people who were gracious enough on the 18th green to applaud my approach putt.

As I mentioned in my blog only a few days ago, golf is one of those games where you can tread the boards on which perform your hero's. On this occasion I was able to do it at the same time

general update

At last, I have accepted an offer on the house in Chiswick, and with a following wind the transaction should be completed by mid-October. The stock of flats seems to be in short supply so may keep my powder dry for the time being and see if there is a glut of buy to lets which come on the market over the Winter. In the meantime it will be The Lensbury Club for accommodation.

Work continues to be a nightmare with the imminent closure of the final salary pension plan. 20% of employees are affected and the water cooler discussions centre on nothing else at the mo. There are likely to be several hundred employees who will leave in march next year, so i am lining my ducks up as I am likely to be one such.

I am relatively OK in terms of pension but do feel sorry for the fortysomethings who will be seriously affected by this move.

As a combination of the above, this blog will be going silent, and may go off the air for a while as i move from the London server to the scouse one, which may mean there will be a change of blog address in the future. I will update when normal service has been resumed.

Third isle down on the right sir.....

I have got myself a few months work in London at the moment, which is a welcome change from being on the bench since the Edinburgh gig finished. It may, however, be my last engagement with my current employer, as they propose to pull the plug on my, and others, pension scheme in April next year. If the porposals go through unchanged, I would have to work until i am well into my 62nd year to reep the benefits which I can walk away with now. That kind of seems a no brainer to me and alot of other people in a similar position.


The house situation is possibly improving with a couple of second viewings this week, but if it is still unsold by September then I think I will rent it out and use the income to supliment any pension I choose to draw down.

The golf club membership probably won't move much before the end of the year, but I have got holidays planned through September, October and November, as well as Camp Pete 2009 which is scheduled for the upcoming Bank Holiday. We are Vikings this year and will be looking to retain our 'most imaginative raft' title, won by the pirates last year.

Now where did I put that orange B & Q overall?

Thats a nice pear

I've got to get this off my chest (grin), but I am getting a bit fed up with adverts for pear cider. I know I am on a campaign to protect old gits English when I reach for my 1956 National Benzole sponsored edition of the Collins English dictionary to look something up. Well I did, and I have.

It quite clearly states that cider is a drink made from fermented apples, not pears, not loganberries and certainly not strawberries, but what do I know about modern day linguistic applications of good old Anglo Saxon.

A drink made with pears is called a perry as every self indulgent Babycham drinker should know, and if its good enough for Vyvyan in the The Young Ones, then its good enough for me.......

Green army

Check this out.....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tuVGST_1gE

I said left, not right......

I am pleased with my new car, and I hate to say it, but one of the best bits in the sat nav. I have always resisted buying a TomTom or similar, as i think part of being a bloke is the right to get lost. its all part of the adventure.

"yes I know where we are", "No you don't, why don't you stop and ask?" "Its fine we will be there is a few minutes", "The kids are getting upset".....and so it goes on. You always manage to get there in the end though, and feel really pleased with yourself.

The sat nav has taken all that challenge out of driving and I must say I quite enjoy it.It calculates the ETA, it lets me know if there are traffic problems and can plan diversions. That was particularly useful in Lancaster last week, and it shows golf courses, petrol stations and hospitals if you want it to. Although now we don't argue about directions, i don't need the last category as much as I used to.

I still take the occasional wrong turn just to upset the lady doing the voice over, but she has not resigned from map reading just yet.......time will tell.

Ring, ring......

My 200th post, well that's good going........and what a great moment to celebrate it with the news that number one daughter Rebecca, got engaged yesterday in Rome.

John, her childhood sweetheart, proposed in traditional style in a restaurant in Rome. No news yet whether the whole place clapped and cheered but lets hope so.

She is there to meet her mad mates from Oklahoma so I am sure they will all be drinking the local fire water well into the night.....I wonder if they will make it to Jonathans, near Plaza Navarrro it would be a fitting place to go.

How many can a man have?

Well, a week ago I had no BMWs, and now theoretically I have two!!

Regular readers will recall that in October last year my virtually new BMW was stolen from outside my house in Chiswick, West London. I had the keys so indications were that it had been towed away. The deal was that I had to wait six months for it to be an insurance right off and I could then order a new one. That I duly did and it is sitting outside with 800 miles on the clock having arrived last week.

So you could knock me down with a feather this morning when the Metropolitan Police called me to say the original car had been identified. They had found it in a hotel car park in Dublin Airport.

Well that's not strictly true. The hotel contacted their local BMW dealer to say it had sat there for three months and could they get it shifted. On checking the dealership found it was stolen and contacted the Guarda who contacted the Met. Its still in the car park and the owner of the hotel wants to know who is going to pay for the three months parking charges!!

As an aside, the car was taken from a street about 50 yards from the Chiswick Moran hotel. The group have recently acquired the Bewley chain of hotels in Ireland, and yes you've guessed it, the stolen car was in the Bewley, Dublin Airport, hotel. Seems like somebody wanted a lift home!!!

Ava Harris, age zero

Celebration last night as Emma finally parted company with her bump and allowed new grand daughter Ava to pop out into the world, at a healthy 8lb 2oz. Both mum and baby had a bit of a battle but she was delivered au natural. Pictures will be delayed, therefore, until mother and baby are a bit more photogenic.

The Scalextric and train set had to be returned to Argos, looks like My Little Pony and dolls will be purchased in their place.......

...and he's got this downhill tester to win the Open

Well what a sound weekend of sport it has been, as I type, the last Aussie wicket falls and England win a test at Lords for the first time since 1936. A Michelle for Freddie which gets his name on the honours board again, and England go 1-0 up with three to play . The missus and I went on Saturday and had to put up with the bar room stewards who all said, why did we not enforce the follow-on, look at the slow run rate, etc etc, but we experts knew the game plan and it has worked a treat.

Second event on the menu was the wonderful Open Golf Championship at Turnberry, won from behind by Stuart Cink, who was never alone in the lead, but got to the front when it mattered to beat 'Old' Tom Watson in the four hole play-off. How the world would have loved to see Tom win, as he had previously done as 'young' Tom Watson, in 1977, but it was not to be and he was gutted as you would expect.

So too was Lee Westwood who was two ahead at one stage but bogeyed three of the last four holes to blow his chances.

The Turnberry track was wonderfully turned out, and it drew me back to a may day in 1989 when I played it with a couple of friends, Figs and Greg, as part of our Scotflog tour that year. Golf remains one of the few games which joe public can compete on the same playing field as the heroes of the sport. I guess swimming and cycling share that ability and there may be others. So I thought, given Tiger had a horror day on Friday, I wonder how I would have done against him hole for hole. Well given I am an anorak in a few areas, and golf being one such, I was able to fish out my card from 20 years ago and compare..... And here we have it, I parred three holes which Tiger did also, and I bettered him on 10 and 13, deep joy!! Interesting we both struggled around the turn eh!! My comments in the diary indicate Iactually played better than the score suggests.......

A little bit of everything Sir?

Not to be confused with a little something for the weekend......

I was transported back in time yesterday when I caught the Virgin trains Liverpool to london express yesterday. it was a short notice work trip so there was nothing for it but to travel 1st Class. You could have blown me over with t feather when i found out it featured the 'full English' on the menu.

Now in days gone by, when I travelled regularly in the chocolate and cream coloured coaches pulled by brunswick green locomotives like the Cornish Riviera express and the Flying Scotsman, I would regularly have time to grab the 'full English' between Paddington and Bristol or Bath.

The meals were served from huge silver platters by attendants in smart red and black uniforms, and the opportunity for an extra rasher or two eggs was always available. It was like a gentlemans club as the staff took great pride in their work and knew many of the regulars by first name terms.

So what of the modern equivalent? Well the menu could not be faulted, cereal, fruit juice, tea and coffee, toast and croissants followed by 'full English' or bacon or sausage baps. Both the sausage and bacon were top drawer, and the potato rosti with fried egg just hit the spot.

The only thing lacking was the 'service' mentality of the staff. Many of them were struggling to raise a smile or pass the time of day with their clients, and all gave the appearance of a jobsworth just waiting for it all to end. There was no opportunity to have extra tea or coffee if you missed the urn run, and it would have probably been unwise to ask for an extra banger. Hey, lets be positive though, it was a great start to the day, and at £129 for the ticket, probably the most expensive breakfast I have ever eaten!!

The journey home though was a nightmare, as the train was declassified due to route cancellations. So 1st Class was chocka and no food service was available except from the buffet car, the train was an hour late into Liverpool as it stopped at additional stations in and near Birmingham, consequently the £57 fare home did not even come close to value for money. I could have gone cattle for £12!!

Still the Wifi is fab and that kept me sane, and it was better than spending 7 hours on the motorway, after all, and it was not Virgins fault some little scrot wrecked the signalling system in the West Midlands, was it?

I'm still standing, yeah ,yeah , yeah

SWMBO and number one daughter ran the Race For Life round Birkenhead Park yesterday. She had been training very hard for it and completed it in a very commendable 31 minutes. About 4500 people took part and as you can see each of them got a medal . This seems to be the modern trend these days, and in this case I do wonder why any of the finishers would need one. It would probably save the charity a few bob as well.

In childrens sport the trend became known to me at the end of a Twickenham RFC mini rugby day when the awards were given out. The coach of the Welsh side, which had been battered by all the other teams asked where his boys medals were? Eh, you did not win any was the reply. This apparently was not good enough, as all the children were expecting them. Its what happens. So hurried searches for more were made and the boys went back happy.

It all seems to be part of the 'nobody loses' theme that continues to run through the school curriculum at the moment, and don't get me started on the school that banned parents from sports day in case a paedophile turned up in the crowd......do get a grip, please .

Anyway, very well done to 'er indoors, I am just off to see if I can run the route quicker. I am not feeling too confident though, I have a zero and two record where SWMBO and I go head to head on the running stakes!

Knock, knock, knocking on heavens door.....

The property in Isleworth owned my Mr and Mrs Expenses, the Keens, previously highlighted here in early 2008, has been occupied by squatters, as it has remained vacant for some time. Here is the transcript of a letter circulated to neighbours, by Anne Keen.


"I am sure that you are aware that our home on Brook Road South has been taken over by squatters. The law to deal with squatters is complicated, but we are taking legal action to regain possession as quickly as possible. We would like to apologise for any disruption to your life and any inconvenience you may have experienced. After major difficulties with the architect/builder we commissioned to carry out refurbishing work and a loft conversion, we were very badly let down and the company recently went into liquidation. We are now in a position to bring in a new firm and work is scheduled to start within two weeks. We look forward to moving back in during the summer. "

"We have lived in our Brentford home for more than 22 years and we own the house - all mortgage payments and building work have always, of course, been paid by us personally. It is our home and has been very special to us for a long time. Alan started work on the Great West Road, Brentford in 1963 and I, as a nurse, spent a substantial part of my working life at the West Middlesex Hospital. Long before I was elected to Parliament in 1997, first as a nurse and then as a candidate, our door was always open for people to ask for help. "

"We find it extremely upsetting to know that our house is occupied by squatters who appear to believe that they are entitled to do what they wish in our property. Anyone who has experienced the feeling of violation after being burgled will understand the distress caused by intruders who refuse to leave. Obviously, we are working to resolve the situation and get our house back as quickly as possible and would like to thank all those who have expressed their support and sympathy over the last few days - it has meant a great deal to me. "


The comment about their door always being open may have contributed to the current problem!!

Barewires

Went to see John Mayall last night in a speakeasy kind of blues club in Scouseland. The roof was held up with factory metal pillars, and it had the feeling of a 'sweat shop' in more ways than one. I hate to think what it was like before the public smoking ban came into force!

Mayall is not on my bucket list, but having been introduced to him in the sixties by the Blues from laurel Canyon album, I had always wanted to see him live. He is 75 years old now and looks a bit like Rolf Harris with a pony tail! He banged out a few tunes with his band Rocky Athos and Joe Yuele among others. These guys were probably hoping to be spotted like many of the previous Bluesbreakers were.

Eric Clapton, who along with Jack Bruce, left Mayall to for Cream, referred to him as a musical university. He spawned Fleetwood Mac, with Mick Fleetwood, Peter Green and John McVie all being ex- Bluesbreakers, and also Colosseum, from whence came Hiseman, Reeves and Heckstall-Smith. Other names such as Jeff Beck and Mick Taylor also studied at the university of Mayall, before graduating and moving on. Clapton, Taylor and Beck did back Mayall at his 2003 Liverpool concert to celebrate his 50th year in the business.

The set last night was OK although it was a bit like standing in somebodies front room as four guys jammed away together, before turning round and saying 'oh, sorry I did not see you come in'

Andy Sharrocks and the Smoking Jackets were the support act last night, which gives a brief insight into blues concert hierarchies, as Mayall himself had just finished supporting the 83 year old BB King on his short tour of the UK.

...but some are more equal than others

Fascinating. Here we are again into the back end of Wimbledon fortnight with the women's semi's and final looming, and to be honest, who cares? Can you name a memorable women's match which has kept you on the edge of your seat, and apart from the Venus sisters can you name a women player who isn't an ...eva,...ova or....vic. Yep some of them are good looking, but worth the same prize money as men, well forget it.

The men's tennis has been fantastic by comparison. Even Roger 'the hat' has played stunning stuff without being stretched, and the other three quarter finals all had drama, characters and crowds who wanted to, and did, get involved. Couple that with the thriller which was Murray's Monday match and the chaps have been earning their money and most of the ladies as well. I would suggest two things..... give the grass back a bit of pace to encourage more serve and volley, and give the girls their own week, then we will see who brings in the crowds.

Chicken Korma and a pint of Pride

Well it was off to Lords on Sunday with number one son and wife for a spot of Twenty/20 cricket. With Middlesex having won their previous two games there was a smell of renaissance in the air, given they had lost their first seven contests. Things looked good with Sussex needing 26 off the last two overs, but as Chris Nash smashed Chris Silverwood all over the ground Middlesex finished as they started and are bottom of the South and South East group, and destined for second division 20/20 next season.




The trip did, however, allow me to see what developments had taken place at Crockets Folly, a wonderful establishment close to the ground, which had been a regular drinking hole at the test matches for me and many good friends, between the luncheon and tea intervals.

The building was constructed originally by one Frank Crocker, and was to be names the Crown Hotel. Frank knew his development was going to be a success. After all, the new railway terminus was going to be built opposite, how could it fail? Imagine Crocker's despair when the rail terminus was built, half a mile away at Marylebone. Broke and broken, so the tale goes, he threw himself from an upstairs window. The Crown became Crocker's Folly. Frank Crocker was a successful entrepreneur and the Crown a lavish testament to that. He was no newcomer to the pub trade either, having run the Volunteer in Kilburn which must have been successful for him to have the Crown built. The public bar is vast, the billiard room grand, but the jewel-at-the-Crown is the entrance hall saloon.

A late Victorian feast of marble, using fifty different kinds, covering not only the counter, but almost the entire bar. The chimney-piece is marble and has marble columns. Even the walls are lined in marble. All this, beneath a rich plaster relief ceiling.

So Folly or not, the place is now in major disrepair as it clearly struggled to survive on two or three major matches at Lords per year. It was purchased by an Indian takeaway chain who had a view of turning it into a restaurant, but my recent inspection showed leaded windows broken and the front of the property boarded up. It is grade two listed, and there were lights on upstairs, The new owners vans also populated the forecourt. Lets hope, therefore, that some new use can be found for the property before its magnificent interior falls into disrepair.

Honey, I shrunk the kids......

There is a leading edge equine centre on the Wirral, Leahurst, which was recently expanded and had the new facilities opened by HRH The Princess Royal, aka old horse face, herself.

During her visit I was chatting to a veterinary salesman about the merits of using honey for the treatment of scraps and cuts on horses legs.

During the conversation, the merits or otherwise of Manuka honey came up. For those of you not up on honey, Manuka is the health food wonder honey of the 21st century, and at £20 a pot in Sainsbury's it should be.

Like all things with a premium price, however, there is a dark side to it. Apparently there is more Manuka honey, which comes exclusively from New Zealand, sold in Sainsbury's in the UK in a year, than the poor old worker bees in NZ are able to produce. Strange eh!

The honey comes from one of the native trees of New Zealand. The Manuka tree (Leptospermum scoparium) is the New Zealand version of the tea tree plant. It can be found growing wild in much of the country, but more predominately around coastal areas, with the east cape area of the north island having one of the larger concentrations.

The market for blending Manuka with clover or other lower grade honey has caused the regulatory bodies all sorts of headaches ( sadly one thing Manuka will not cure!) so here are some guidelines to allow you to spot the pukka stuff if you so wish:

Proper UMF Active Manuka Honey complies with all 5 of the following criteria for Genuine UMF Manuka Honey as recommended by the Active Manuka Honey Association.

1. It has the name UMF clearly stated on the front label.
2. It is packed into jars and labelled in New Zealand.
3. It is from a New Zealand company licensed to use the name UMF.
4. It has the UMF licensee’s name on the front label.
5. It has a rating of UMF10 or more.

So there you have it and next time you have a tickly cough, or damage a fetlock make sure you get the right jar.

Love is......

Do you remember the box cartoons in the Daily Mail, with the same name, well here's one for you.....

.....when your wife goes from London to Liverpool with both sets of your car keys, but leaves your car in London. Luckily my golf clubs were locked in the boot....humf!!!

CSI Chiswick

Boum! Boum!
Well High Noon met the Shootout at the OK Corral on Saturday night, as a gun fight exploded at the end of Silver Crescent, sending passers by diving for cover, and my Indian takeaway driver unable to get to my door.

It was all quite strange as we heard what appeared to be a series of hammering sounds on the door, then the takeaway man rang to say he could not get down the street. I wandered casually up the road to be confronted by an armed response team and police vehicles everywhere. 'Mind how you go' was all they said as I recovered my evening meal and sauntered back home.

Apparently two men had leaped from a car and chased a third man past the Moran Hotel, shooting him as they went. He then hid in Silver Crescent until they left, before fleeing to Charing Cross Hospital where he was treated for wounds to the arm. There was a fair amount of claret splashed on the pavement so he must have been in some pain.

The two attackers drove off up the North Circular Road, and as yet they remain at large.

All this should see house prices plummet in the area, and just when I thought there might be some positive developments with mine. I had accepted an offer from people in Dubai but their finances seem to have gone pear shaped suddenly, and a couple who saw the place for the third time at the weekend are disagreeing about putting in an offer. She loves it, he is not so keen.....anyway, I will give it to August and if nobody comes in for it, I will take it of the market. There is certainly a shortage of good two bedroomed flats in the area so why move into a hovel for the sake of moving eh?......

The Ballad of Casey Jones

I was in the Colindale newspaper library today doing a bit of research for a decorating project, and in one of the periodicals I was browsing there was the banner headline ' London hit by rail strike, thousands struggle to get home'. The date was 1962. Here we are nearly 50 years on and the same thing is happening today and tomorrow as the tube unions call a 48 hour strike. They seem to be the only group of individuals who regularly disrupt the lives of Londoners these days, and I suspect they do more economic damage that any partial close down forced on us by terrorism or other service interference.

What do they hope to gain? They are clearly not a happy lot or they would have negotiated a stable set of terms the last time they called a strike. This time there is an underlying disciplinary problem which the unions seem keen to force Transport for London to back down on. It is encouraging that they are not, and while joe public is unlikely to know all the ins and outs of the matter, discipline in a service which has so many peoples fate in their hands, needs to be absolutely blemish free. Go get 'em Boris!!

On the way home, as I was sitting at Finchley Road and Frognal station, a goods train rumbled through the station. it was a fairly bland diesel loco pulling an array of similarly bland open topped coal trucks. It made me wonder where all the wonderful customised trucks which used to carry all kinds of produce around the Country have gone. They are probably only preserved in our children's toy train sets, and most of the produce is now transported around the place via the motorway network. Beeching has a thing or two to answer for, and if you are not sure what, here it is in a nutshell......

The effects of the Beeching cuts on the railways over the period 1962-1968 were as follows:-

Staff employed reduced from 500,000 to 300,000
Route miles reduced from 17,000 to 13,000
Number of stations reduced from 5,000 to 2,700
Locomotives reduced from 14,000 to 5,000 (including the changeover from steam to diesel and electric)
Carriages reduced from 36,000 to 20,000
Wagons reduced from 900,000 to 450,000 (including new vehicle types)
Train miles reduced from 335,000,000 to 250,000,000

A True Gentleman

More on the Birkenhead evangelist come cricketer, W P Lockhart. My cousin and I visited the Lords library when we were there for a match last week, and subsequently the librarian has been able to shed some light on Mr Lockharts career.

A brief obituary appeared in Wisden in 1894. It read:
W.P. Lockhart died in the latter part of the summer (12 August 1893). In his time Mr. Lockhart was the best amateur wicket-keeper in the North of England. He was born at Kirkcaldy, N.B., on October 15th 1835. He never appeared at Lord’s, but in 1859 he was one of the Gentlemen’s eleven against the Players at the Oval.

A wizzo site, here, however, details many of the individual games he played including a game against an England side who were about to visit America on tour. He played for Birkenhead Park against Ireland in 1858, and also represented Scotland.

Skype's the limit

I have just purchased a NetBook computer, one of the machines which has a 9" screen, and can just about manage internet browsing and a bit of word processing. I brought the HP model 2133 much to my sister-in-laws disgust, but neither IBM or Lenovo make one close to the spec and price.

It comes with Linux, and I was hoping I would be able to embrace that operating system as a learning exercise, as more and more people seem to want to move from Microsoft and so avoid costs and royalty payments. Its proving more difficult than I thought but i am persevering in some of the slack time which I have at the mo.

Unfortunately though, the HP machine does not support microphone support for Skype, and that was another reason I purchased. Our number two son spend over £200 on phone bills when he was recently in the Dominican Republic. That would have paid for him to have a NetBook with Skype on it.

So I am now trying to sort out dual boot with XP and either SUSE 10 or Ubuntu Net Mix, or maybe all three, and then I will have to sort out a foreign trip to see if the grand plan works.

Cheers

I visited a traditional country pub yesterday in the village of Charlton, near Goodwood. The pub has kept its dark wood interior and bar, while embracing the modern trend for gastro food. This it does in two separate dining areas which do not interfere with pub ambiance.

For a small pub, it had several cask beers, three ciders and the usually gassy stuff. The cask beers are all local Sussex micro brewers and one was called Fox, the same name as the pub. A plaque on the wall indicated that the first ever WI meeting in England was held here, and a picture on the wall showed Doctor Who, Sarah-Jane and the Brigadier in a scene which was filmed there too. A proper English pub.

Britain in Bloom

Yesterday we were able to wander round our urban village, Oxton, and visit 30 or so secret gardens. It was the 30th year that the Oxton Society had staged this event, but the first time we had been able to make it in the seven years we have lived here.

It was staggering to see the variety and complexity of some of the layouts, as well as marvel at some of the houses which are usually hidden behind locked gates and high walls. It also showed us how much there was to Oxton that we had yet to explore.

We discovered unmade lanes with sandstone walls, long winding drives with night lights, small schools tucked away behind huge rhododendron bushes and an array of properties ranging from the mid to late 1800s through the war years to some modern day infills and blocks of flats.

For this one day of the year though, they had all made an effort, even those not included in the chosen 30, by leaving gates open and making front gardens at least a sight to behold.

Many gardens had something to offer in terms of layout, textural usage or planting structure, although most could have benefited by labelling the less common plants which they used, to help those of us who were looking for something different which would survive in the heavy clay and harsh North Westerly wind.

The pick of the bunch, however, was that which was 28 Christchurch Road. The site was originally the vicarage garden for Christ Church opposite, but the garden fell into disrepair and was sold off with planning permission for a house to be built. The vicarage was turned into flats, and that could have been the end of it. The people who brought the plot, however, were aware that the garden had been magical, with grotto';s waterfalls and much else besides. They researched and found the original plans and have now re-created a very impressive place. It is one of the gardens which opens on charity days, so we will probably pop back on 14th June when next it is available.

Full marks must go to the Liver Morrish Dancers who banged out three sets during the day. I do suspect they were getting a bit tipsy by the time they did the 3pm performance, but as its a dying pastime shunned by the youth of today, it was good nonetheless to see them perform with such enthusiasm.

All in all a good four hours spent, during which we met all our neighbours, who we only see when we are all out and about at such a time......

Oink, achoo....

Did Al Murray have a point?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8019357.stm

And a fruit based drink for the lady

We went to see Al Murray at the weekend, aka The Pub Landlord. He was on at the Echo Arena, and we were curious to see how he would get on as he has had a rough ride in Scouseland on a few occasions.

His act started off as I expected, with him effectively identifying his foils who would be food and drink for him throughout the rest of the show. So, we had the fat bloke, the old bloke, the good looking girls, the intellectual, the getaway driver, a few nurses and secretary's, the lad who worked for a bank, and a few randoms which for this show included a 'finisher' and some stock takers from Morrison. Finally he found the ugly bloke batting way above his average, with a good looking girl.

He then ran a series of gags aimed at or involving each of these stereotypes, and frankly it was all a bit tedious. The stock takers took offense at the 'well you would in Liverpool wouldn't you' joke, and the Gordon Brown stories told in a Scottish accent, so they decided to heckle a bit. Sadly they were not very good at it, and after ten minutes or so they were shown the door.

He proved God was British with a few parables probably not from the Bible, which included alluding to the fact that he always stood his round, even if there were 5000 in the pub, which was amusing, he lambasted the London 2012 initiative, presumably to get the out of town sympathy vote, and ended by extolling the virtues of bacon as a hangover cure.

Would I go again? no, would I recommend him? only if he was doing a 30 minute slot in a comedy club, frankly he should stick to his TV chat show, but as SWMBO indicated, comedians only have a short shelf life so you have to go with it while you can.

Another year goes by.......

Well another year goes by. Here we are on the first May 2009 and my blog is now 2 years old. It all started off you will recall, as a life journey with the focus being the selling of my London home. So whats happened?

Not a lot really, the current economic climate is well documented, and the house has been reduced in price accordingly. Not enough as far as the agents are concerned, but to a level I feel happy negotiating around, and which should give me scope to purchase a flat further down the line.

Up until recently there were three similar houses for sale in the Crescent, with mine being the mid-priced property. The lower priced one is now under offer, so it remains to be seen whether anybody will show interest in mine during June and July. If not, then I will remove the place from the market and bide my time. The number of flats around at the moment is low and their style and locations do not give me any enthusiasm to purchase which is also a bit disappointing, but I continue to take the stance that I am not selling to move into a place I am not happy living in.

Meanwhile its early Summer maintenance up North, and I suspect I have just scarified the lawn a bit too vigorously. Still grass is pretty resilient so it should recover in time for the first cricket match of the new season!!

I have finally got round to ordering a new car and we now are waiting to see if it or the new grandchild arrives first. Number two daughter is certainly growing a big bump and I am sure she can't wait to offload the offspring before the temperature hots up. Number two son is in the Dominican Republic at his bosses wedding and sounds like he is having a fine time. With a personal butler on call to run his bath, and a golf buggy available to transport him around the resort he should be.

What else will this third year in the life of The Philanderer hold I wonder, rest assured you will be the second or third to know.

'You cannot be serious......?'

So Howard Webb, the eminent footie referee has apologised for 'getting it wrong' at Old Trafford last week when he awarded a penalty to Manchester United which virtually handed them the league title, and put the chances of Spurs reaching Europe in serious doubt.

He appears to have been the only person in the ground who thought it was a penalty, with Alex Ferguson commenting that they had been a bit lucky, and Arsene Wenger indicating that although he did not see it, it was clearly not a penalty.

Spurs have been unfortunate at Old Trafford before, as Mark Clattenburg disallowed a goal in the Martin Jol era, when Ray Carroll clawed the ball back from several feet behind the line. it earned the referee an entry in the Viz Profanisaurus thus:

Clattenburg, n: the term used for sexual intercourse as demonstrated during an Adult Channel movie shown in a hotel room. Everybody knows its in, but you just can't see it.

So once more it opens up the debate for the introduction of technology to aid referees to make the correct decisions. Rugby League pioneered it, Rugby Union and Cricket followed suit and now tennis players are allowed to query calls in which Hawkeye is used to adjudicate .

Would it slow the game down? Well image a couple of examples, the penalty at Old Trafford is given so there is a delay anyway during which the third official would say 'no penalty, indirect free kick to Spurs'. Alternatively, as happened on Tuesday, Thiery Henry is pulled down in the box by a Chelsea player, the ref waves play on. The third official has a look, and mikes the ref, 'Penalty'. The decision is made, the players will moan, but will eventually realise it was shown on TV so justice is done. Very little delay to the game.

Add into the mix the cricket and tennis approach where each manager is allowed three appeals to the third official. if right they keep their three, if wrong then they lose an appeal. Maybe two per half would avoid both managers questioning every decision in the last ten minutes?

Sadly the football authorities think they and their game is so pure that they do not need these things, but with money the prime motivator these days they need to wake up and smell the coffee. Anyway where is my copy of ' Debbie does Dallas'?

Oink, Oink

So a new strain of flu is spreading its way around the world as a result of the initial outbreak in Mexico. We are all checking ourselves here to ensure we have not developed small curly tails, pointy ears or large square looking noses. I guess that anybody who looks like Shrek is being viewed with suspicion, so I wonder if Manchester United have put Wayne Rooney into quarantine?

It is not surprising that cases are starting to be identified across the globe given the number of people in the air at any one time. On Sunday morning I drove past the runway at Heathrow, past Hatton Cross, and the aircraft takeoff route was right above us to the East. In the six or seven minutes it took me to pass the three sets of lights on the A30, five jumbo's took off. Thats about 2000 people, or 20,000 per hour, just from one airport.

I remember when the flu virus mutated into Asian flu some years ago and there were a number of fatalities particularly amongst the older population. It did hit Britain during the Winter, however, and I suspect the fact we are entering our warmest period now may contribute to the reduced effects the virus seems to be having here. Mexico is one of the most polluted countries in the world, and the air quality in Mexico City in particular is very poor. I am confident that sensible precautions in the UK will contain this strain as just another 'bad cold'.

Anyway, its early so I must go and stick my snout in the trough.

Come on you Greens........

Phew, what a dramatic few days in the Weathers sporting calender.........

• Saturday, Plymouth Albion assured of National One status next season as Esher get thrashed at Bedford
• Sunday, Plymouth Raiders reach the finals weekend in Birmingham in the British Basketball league for the second season running, winning on the road at Guildford
• Sunday, Twickenham Colts win the Middlesex Cup in a pulsating final, 15-12 against Finchley
• Sunday, Middlesex thrash Scotland at Lords, why am I not in Edinburgh today?
• Monday, Plymouth Argyle maintain their Championship status as Steve Coppells Reading beat Norwich

Focus now moves to Scouseland and the European Cup......dare I support Arsenal against Man U??

Stumped

As the football season draws to a close, and the sound of leather on willow once again can be heard in the hamlets and villages of olde England, an interesting booklet was passed to me by a local religious historian.

To save you back tracking to look for the genealogy of the Scouse house, here is a quick summary. (I could not find the link anyway!!)

The 16th Earl of Shrewsbury sold the land on which the house is built in the mid-1800's and a lady named Eliza Lockhart purchased direct from the builder. She lived here a number of years before selling it on in the early 1900's. Census records then indicate that her daughter subsequently purchased the property and re-introduced it into the family. What happened after that I have not taken the time to research.

My initial investigations, however, did discover that the family name of the Shrewsbury's was Talbot, and their country home was Alton Towers, now of Theme Park fame. They are also the senior lorded family in the Country and as such would accede to the throne if the whole of the Royal Family were ever wiped out. The stately home in Alton Towers was relieved of its finery when legal fees were needed to pay for the long running dispute about the 16th Earls will, when he died. The Scouse house is on the corner of Shrewsbury Road and Alton Road, with Talbot Road very close by.

Anyway, back to the Lockharts and the booklet. It would appear that the son of Eliza was one W P Lockhart, Birkenheads great evangelist. Now not being a God fearing man, I would have found this less interesting but for the fact that William Peddie Lockhart was also an accomplished cricketer. He played for the Birkenhead Park cricket club and the North of England between 1857 and 1860 when he won 7 caps for England and was considered the best wicket keeper of his time.

He never lived in the Scouse house but must have visited his mother and sister many times, his mother moving here after the death of her husband. That must explain why Kieran is always on at me to mow the cricket pitch in the lawn every May!!

Clement Freud

Sir Clement passed away yesterday at the grand age of 84. Much has been written about him, from his hound dog looks on his dog food adverts, to his culinary skills and Parliamentary membership.

The one thing which has been overlooked is that he was a passionate and (almost) life long supporter of the mighty greens, Plymouth Argyle FC.

I say lifelong as he had attended Dartington College near Plymouth and while there decided to take a local club 'under his wing'.

He became a Plymouth Argyle fan, and remained a Pilgrim throughout his life, frequently mentioning the clubs in his columns and radio and TV appearances.

Last February, however, Freud claimed he had abandoned his love of Argyle. During an 'audience with' session in Headington he was asked if he still followed the club. He replied: "No not anymore - I can’t pronounce the names of any of the players. We used to have people from Plymouth. Sometimes we even went to Bristol and signed somebody! Nowadays, you have three Estonians, others from countries I’ve never heard of."

This is a sad reflection on 'local' football, but money talks and even 4th division teams have players with unpronounceable names.

Still Clement will always be regarded as a true celebrity Green, a cameo he shares with that other aging politician Michael Foot. Michael was born in Plymouth and for many years served as MP for Devonport. I wonder if he is a candidate in the Twickenham RFC death list?

I'm Mandy, Fly Me

I have just returned from Portugal after the annual 'Algarve Cup' tournament. I avoided winning the parrot for last place, and with two good and two bad rounds, I came mid-table.

I travelled over and back on EasyJet, but for some reason from Liverpool, John Lennon International Airport, they only fly one flight on the Monday, so whereas most of the team got back Monday night, I had to wait until Tuesday.

EasyJet are fine as long as they fly on time, I don't have a problem paying for baggage or golf clubs, and the staff are generally friendly and helpful. I was interested though to read about the extra charges being introduced at their hub in Luton, while travelling back.

I had already noticed that people are charged 50p for the clear plastic bag they put their make-up in, at Liverpool, and there is the lounge charge, the priority boarding charge and the fast track security charge which seem to be accepted these days. The announcement that people were to be charged £1 to drop people off at the airport though is a bit cheeky. Air travel is designed to be quicker than other modes of transport, so encouraging people to use the park and ride so way away is only going to erode the differential. I know its only £1 , but judging by the RyanAir announcement to their staff that theyneed to think of new ways of charging passengers, it could be the tip of the iceberg.

So, what are the suggestions; charging people to eat their own food on the plane ( food corkage equivalent), making fat people pay more money, or including your weight as part of your baggage allowance, and what else?

Well here are a few things for you if any RyanAir people read this.

Its 30p to spend a penny at Paddington Station in London, although you can slide in past the turnstiles if you know the trick!! So lets have a toilet usage charge on aircraft. What about paying so that the seat in front of you cannot be reclined, although a reclining passenger may need to be re-imbursed for not being able to be selfish and inconsiderate. Short haul don't have movies or entertainment, but that is an obvious one to charge for, if they do not already.

They could also sell papers and magazines, wet wipes and serviettes but they would all contribute to total takeoff weight and may not therefore be viable.

Alternatively of course they could just make everything inclusive and put the base price up, I am sure it will happen, but then don't Virgin and BA do that already?

School for Scandal

There was an interesting article in The Times yesterday, based on the subjects we did and did not learn at school, and whether there was anything which one regretted not learning.

I had a think about this and am consistent in my views of twenty years or more, that I wish I had been able to learn a language. The school was run by the Christian Brothers, so Latin was on the curriculum from year 1. I struggled with it and so dropped it in year 2 for Spanish. French was also a problem so that went by the wayside pretty quickly too.

I managed to struggle on with Spanish and sat my 'O'level, but did not pass, so all I speak now is the basic stuff....it got us around Peru, but it would be jolly useful now to be able to speak all three of those languages.


With a new daughter-in-law who speaks Portugese, and the likelihood that any grand children from that direction will also be multi-lingual, that is the language of choice for me now.....I will need to check the evening class schedule.


I suspect most of the problem was the dull and repetitive way the languages were taught in the early '60s. I might fair better with the modern language lab approach, who knows.


If I am allowed more than one choice, I would have liked to leave school being able to play a musical instrument. We did have orchestra lessons, which allowed me to learn to read music, and play the violin, but that seemed to go the same way as the language classes after a while. I plug away on the piano these days but in a crowded room I suspect I am the only one who knows what I am playing!!


It was an all boys schools, so learning a bit more about girls might have been handy as well, mind.



So what was I really pleased I learned at school? My best subject was maths, and that certainly set me up for my career in IBM so that has to be up there. I did Art through to 'A' level and that has certainly stayed with me throughout the years, although I have never been much of a painter, more a creative genius!


Rugby has opened up a world of friendships, travel opportunities and competition, the like I would have struggled to emulate at a football based school, so that was the best of the extra-curricular activities.


And there you have it....in The Times article history and geography featured with a lot of people. I was forced to make the choice for the 'O' level course between physics, chemistry, and biology or geography, history and sociology and went down the science route, but in those days you got a good grounding in all the subjects up to the age of 15 so I never felt I had missed out there.


So what were you're regrets and successes,it would be good to know?