Vroom Vroom

 I have long said I would drive my 5 series into the ground and not be too concerned how the body work looked. It has done 125000 miles and seemed good for the same again. Then things took a turn. The air con packed up and needed a new compressor. The boot lid would not respond to the key any more which was indicative of a loom problem and finally the car started losing power under pressure. A best that was an exhaust fault and at worst could be a gasket or interventions failure.

My recent experience with Williams in Liverpool  as documented here, did not fill me with confidence so it has become time to trade in and move on.

I decided to use the used car department of the Chester dealership, Hallowell Jones, and see what they could offer. We had met Mr Jones at St Andrews last year so I felt a bit of empathy there.

As thing worked out there was a vehicle in stock which fitted my requirements at a reasonable price. So it is now sitting on the drive and I am a boy racer!!

It is taking some getting used to. It is the first automatic I have owned and the interior packages have moved on a way since I was in the market eleven years ago.  Front and rear cameras are there to help and I have an app on the phone from which I can lock or unlock the car and track it if it goes missing!

So at least there is something more suitable now sitting in the Captain parking space at the golf club.

There's a clue in the name

 The BBC Sports Personality of the Year has always been a must watch Christmas event in our household. I will admit that as the Beeb have less and less live sport to show it has become a bit less enjoyable than it used to be, but there has usually been a good list of candidates for the big prize. We will just ignore the fact that Ryan Giggs managed to win it one year. That's a bit like Danny Willett winning the Masters!!

There always used to be silly sports challenges which audience members would participate in even if they were not up for the grand prize, but those little off piste diversions seem to have disappeared too.

This year, though, we are in a very strange place. as has become the trend, the six major prize winners have been announced beforehand and I am now doubting whether I really wish to watch it, particularly as Lewis Hamilton, the contestant with the least personality, is favourite to win it. I am not sure though whether Stuart Broad or Ronnie O'Sullivan might run him close in a grey man competition, unless that is, Keir Starmer is in the running.

OK,  Lewis is world champion for the 'n'th time in a minority sport which is boring and monotonous to a large part of the population and, yes, I know golf is probably tarred with the same brush, but if he is best of a bad bunch I really despair.

Tyson Fury must agree with me as he has withdrawn his name from the competition, although whether the BBC have noticed I am not sure.

Joe Wicks read out the nominations, he must have been thinking that he had done more this year to win it than the nominee's themselves. And what about Major Tom, He has scooped up most of the awards this year, walking round the garden must have counted as an endurance event as far as he was concerned? Jordan Henderson  will get the Northern Powerhouse vote, but I would like to see Hollie Doyle win, as she has the profile and  all the current attributes of a 2020 success story, just don't get me onto the 'Lewis Hamilton for a Knighthood' campaign

Neeeoooow!

In a land far, far away

FLOW  came home with a packet of Christmas themed face masks yesterday, and it go me wondering which ten items I would put in a 2020 time capsule  for discovery by aliens in 100 years time. So, in no particular order, with some personal and some pandemic wide:

• Christmas themed face mask
• Deliveroo backpack
• Ventilator
• Zoom user guide
• COVID test kit
• Ordnance Survey map of Wirral
• Golf Ball
• Hands, Face, Space publicity poster
• Home schooling guide
• Bat soup recipe

 That should keep them busy trying to work out what on Earth happened all those years ago.

We just need to ensure that the 2021 capsule includes a vaccine phial  and a plane ticket to a sunny destination, fingers crossed.

 

 

Viewers and watchers

 The second round of lockdown is quite interesting here on the Wirral. At the beginning of October we had over 300 cases per 100,000 when the average in England was 23. We entered stage 3 with the rest of the City of Liverpool conurbation where the figure was almost 600 in parts, and at least enjoyed golf and having a beer, albeit one to a table.

Boris then saw fit to introduce the national lockdown but sweetened the pill in Liverpool by using the City to dry run the mass testing initative. It has been restricted to just the Liverpool City Centre but their figure has halved to less than 300 cases now, and Wirral is down to about 180. The National average is now over 200. Quite what will happen in a couple of weeks is anybody's guess but at least we can see some progress 'Op North'. If that means we can return to stage 3 and some people can get out and about more easily, then all well and good.

My golf is now restricted to the back garden ( don't you mean front garden...ed) and I was having a thrash with my SkyTrak when I became aware that Stewart Golf have launched a new remote controlled golf buggy. Bit on the pricey side I thought but on examining my SkyTrak usage I noticed that while I was playing golf I was less inclined to use the simulator so it was sitting there doing nothing for most of the time. When I got it for lockdown 1, I convinced myself that I would sell it on afterwards as they seem to keep thier value pretty well. 

So it was a matter of selling one to buy the other and research showed me that the Sky Trak  factory has sold out and there are no new orders until January, E-Bay here I come.

First basic error I made was not waiting until a special Black Friday selling offer was announced by E-Bay, but that turned out not to be too much of a problem as bids flew at me from all sides, most of which were to buy before the auction finished. I don't tend to do that, and with over 1000 people viewing and over 100 watching,  letting the auction run it's course was the honourable thing to do. All people have their price though, and when somebody made me a very generous offer and said they would pick it up next day, I weakened and closed the deal.

So, Mr Stewart Golf is coming to Wallasey next month subject to lockdown being lifted and I get a personal demo of their new machine. If it fits the bill and copes with Wallasey's lunar landscape then it will be utilised much more than the SkyTrak, and in the months ahead, who knows, the SkyTrak market may depress and I can buy another one.

So a bit of wheeler dealing even Del Boy would have been proud of. Cushty Cushty Rodders.

Kill the witch

When I was working, I travelled a fair bit in the car. Simon Mayo Drivetime was a go to radio show to listen to on the way home. I remember he had a three word Friday phone in, curry for tea, lawn to cut, beers to drink and so on. It is interesting that American politics under Donald Trump  has adopted a similar parlance.

If you cast your minds back to 2016, he had a right old go at Hillary Clinton, her e-mail usage and tax disposition. The chat was there almost immediately, Lock Her Up, Lock Her Up. When Trump was likely to be up before Congress and be impeached we heard Kill the Bill, Kill the Bill although that was also associated with efforts to overturn Obamacare. 

When  Ruth Bader Ginsburg sadly died, there was a debate about whether the incumbent President should replace her or wait until after the election. Fill the Seat, Fill the Seat cried all the Republicans. Now in the midst of one of the nastiest Presidential campaigns ever we are hearing the fairly standard Four More Years, Four More Years chants at most Trump rallies, but as he looks to project himself as a tin pot African state  dictator akin to Idi Amin or  Robert Mugabe we hear chants of Stop the Count, Stop the Count.

Not to be outdone the Democrats counter with Finish the Count but it is a syllable too long to really resonate like the Republicans.. I am sure they will come up with something once Joe has crossed the line though, USA, USA, USA seems to be quite a popular one.    

Conspiracy theory

 Well we are in lockdown II and already the moaning has started. We here on Wirral have been doing all we could during stage 3 restrictions and that had seen infections reduce from just over 300 cases per 100,000 to just below 250, tha'ts a good 16% improvement. That effort has been mirrored across the Liverpool City Region and may be why Liverpool has been offered the opportunity to be the first City to have whole population testing. As I type, 2000 army personnel are arriving to co-ordinate the task.

Rather impishly, and to spark some motivation for people to take a test I suggested successful roll-out would allow Everton FC and Liverpool FC to be playing home games in front of crowds before many of their competitors. I thought that might be a high value gain for people in this football mad City, but how wrong was I?

You see, it's all a conspiracy as far as the 'in the street' scouser is concerned. 'They just want all our DNA, mate' is the line people will feed you' Matches us to crime scene's then, dunnit'. How sad a view people hold on a process which could see them return to normality in time for Christmas.

If you have nothing to hide, why woirry? So let's see what the take-up is and hope that this pioneering initiative supported by Mayor Anderson, does provide the light at the end of the tunnel. That would be the best Christmas present for all of us! 

Even the steering wheel is extra

Regular readers of the blog will be aware that I have a lot to thank BMW for. I have been a BMW driver for probably twenty five years and through their owners club golf links I have achieved many wonderful things. I won the owners club trophy at Turnberry , I qualified for the British final of the BMW World Cup at St Andrew's and I played Wentworth many times the week after the BMW Championships. I also had access to many top flight courses around the UK, not least Hillside, Walton Heath and St Georges Hill. Add in holiday golf in Morocco and Turkey and it's a good portfolio of add-ons.

The icing on the cake though was the opportunity to play in the pro-am tournament before the BMW Championship in Chicago, which at the time was at Cog Hill and formed part of the Fedex Cup finals. I played with Lucas Glover, the US Open Champion of the time, and we followed Tiger Woods and the Mr BMW fourball round the course.

It hurts me. therefore, to share my disappointment at the way the main dealer experience seems to have been degraded and is now no longer the go to service outlet it should be. I gave Williams BMW in Liverpool one last try this week, as my car has done 125000 miles and I thought there might be some parts which may be replaced as routine. The engine also had a bit of a growl which could have done to be looked at.

In the past I have been attended to by a receptionist who was maybe a mechanic who had worked up to the office/PR team. or somebody who was a bit of a petrolhead and at least would know what I was trying to describe as I booked the vehicle in. Sadly now the person I was faced with had no idea about anything other than what the script said, and was more interested in telling me how much the investigation would cost rather than having any empathy with me. 

I picked the car up two days later and I suspect the growl was cured with a component change as part of the routine service, but I will never know. Luckily they only replaced the windscreen wipers and not the windscreen as I had been assured was what I had booked it in for. I will look for an independent next time and hopefully they can keep it running for another 125000 miles.

If the growl was an exhaust problem I was quoted £3200 for a new system. E-bay indicated to me I might be lucky to get that if I sold the car!!

Rainbow support for NHS

Well, the Captains get together at Wallasey went really rather well. The first part of the day saw the final of the individual knock-out trophy which was won in a tight match by Ian Glover from Ashton-in-Makerfield with Ben Johnson from Gathurst being runner-up. at least I can say I was beaten by the winner!!

The rest of the day was formed of a Stableford competition at the home of Stableford, and one group ran away with the prizes for that. All of pour concerns were centred on the weather, but in true Wirral tradition, the worst of it circumnavigated the course to allow almost every member to finish the round as dry as they started. You would not guess from this photo though!

The Covid restrictions were very well observed, and policed by the staff, so it was a fitting penultimate event in a  funny old season .

The week went a bit down hill for me though as I lost two match play competitions on Thursday and Friday, the Friday event being in the preliminary round of the Senior Winter Knock-out, an event I have still to win.

The 2020 Captains will now move on to Childwall for another group event, and I am looking to play at West Lancs and Hillside before hosting the three or four people who could not make the initial date  back at Wallasey in November. whether the clubhouse will be open will all be down to Boris and his plans for lockdown here in the North West.

In an interesting aside to the President of the United States (PORTUS) contracting the disease, we were amused that the First Lady also has an accrynm, FLOTUS, almost like flotsum. With that at the back of my mind I am now considering whether SWMBO should be renamed as FLOW, First Lady of Wallasey Golf Club. The only problem is that they might start calling me Andy Capp!!

Home sweet home

Golf is starting to ease down now as we approach the Winter season and a shortened course at Wallasey. There was still time though for me to tick of another course when I played Woolton with (another) Captain Simon, Ste and Andrew. I now have Wigan, Hyton and Prescott, Lee Park and Gathurst to play after which I will have completed the set. All the remaining courses are inland towards Northest Liverpool and Wigan so I will probably wait until the Spring before ticking them off.

I am hosting the group at Wallasey on Tuesday next week so hopefully the current Covid restrictions will still be valid and we can have some sort of social day as well as play some golf.

I had another presentation to do on Sunday as the club hosted the Frank Stableford Open competition for elite amateur golfers. There were the usual smattering of home counties international players and handicapping was balloted out at 5. Sam Prince from Stockport golf club won with a total of 75 points over the two rounds. He was a +4 player and showed his class as he added the Frank Stableford to the Cheshire Cat he won earlier in the season. Interestingly in 2014 Matthew Fitzpatrick played his last amateur tournament in the Frank Stableford  at Wallasey before turning professional. He has not done too badly has he!!

My highlight this week though has been the opportunity to make the last payment of my current mortgage, and to finally be the owner outright of a property, with SWMBO of course, and be mortgage free. It has only taken about 45 years in a variety of homes. The first was in Upper Norwood in South London, before purchasing on the Tudor Estate in Kingston, Surrey. I lived in Chiswick, West London  for about 30 years, and used the mortgage on that to buy in Waterloo,  Merseyside. We then moved onto the Wirral where we are today. The house itself is 150 years old in 2021. Given we have not had a chance to host our usual barbecue we will make sure we have a right good 'do' next time.

Winners circle

 That is a title I have not been able to use for a while, but on Monday I managed to win the first round of the Senior Summer competition with a nett 69. I went round the front nine of Wallasey in a gross 38 or two over par albeit from the yellow tee's. That was progress for me as my golf has definitely been suffering due to too many invitations to play. Unfortunately it was back to reality in the second round when a nett 77 meant I came third overall and was unable to get my name on the silverware, or qualify for the Champion of Champions next season.

There are still a few opportunities to do that though with the Autumn event starting next week together with the Wintergreen and Winter knock-out to follow.

Mixed golf was again to the fore this week as my partner, Norma,  and I were again pipped at the post at the final hole in our latest Winter league match to take our record to a very consistent played three, lost three!! I played with a different lady partner in the mixed foursomes on Sunday though, but that did not go any better. well done to Rob and Bo Palmer for winning the event though. Some luck must have come to somebody that day though as our resident seagull deposited on the prize table!!

That someone may well have been me.  Norma and I broke our duck on Wednesday  when we beat the Ratcliffe's in the Winter league to drag ourselves off the bottom of the table, and then I was part of the winning team at the Visionaries event at Ormskirk. Ormskirk was set up wonderfully well, the sun shone and my team played OK golf which turned out to be enough to triumph.

So a few season highlights all crammed into a short space of time. The joy of the game is seeing how long it can be maintained for!!

TW3

 So another week passes with far too much golf and one or two other ancillary events to keep everybody focused. It all started with another match in the mixed Winter league, and that finished much as our previous event, with a fairly comprehensive defeat at the hands of the pre-tournament favourites. We were, however, holding our own on the terrace until I realised I was driving, so to paraphrase Fiona Richmond, 'I made my excuses and left'!

The Seniors played two competitions on Monday. I was honoured to be able to present a new trophy to the section to recognise my appointment as Captain, and it was agreed the competition would be a 'Champion of Champions' event. Consequently the winners of all the Senior trophies in the 2019/20 season played off to identify the Victor Ludorum. The competition running along side it was the Senior major competition for the Golden Jubilee Trophy. Derek Mountfield, the ex-Everton central defender, was fortunate to win both with an excellent score of 40 Stableford points. The newly refurbished clubhouse will include an honours board for the Senior major, so Derek will have his name up in lights. well done!

On Wednesday it was the turn of The Visionaries to take centre stage as we turned out at Heswall for our monthly competition. Jayesh and his helpers made it a wonderful event not withstanding the deluge which accompanied us down the first few holes. The day improved, as did the golf so we now look forward to competing for some silverware when we play against The Eagles at Ormskirk in a few weeks.

Thursday and Friday were reserved for friendly fourballs. Firstly at Wallasey I was joined by our 2004 Captain and both our respective equivalents from West Lancs. Unfortunately local knowledge counted for nothing ans we were soundly beaten 3 & 2, as fatigue gripped me in the middle part of the round. On the Friday I ticked off another local course as I played West Derby with their captain and his regular fourball partner. The captain of Royal Liverpool made up the four. He had been a junior there when he was 13 years old and had not played the course for many years. It was a delight to understand the history, changes and memories for those bygone days. To add to the enjoyment I had my first victory of the week!

Social distancing guidelines continue to influence how each Club tackles the golf and hospitality and I am pleased to see that so far people seem to  be respecting the rules and golf can continue at the moment in an enjoyable manner.

Yesterday was one such example of that. Usually at Wallasey the Captains Prize event is a straight forward knock-out in which about 130 people participate. We had insufficient time to fit that into the calender this year, so it was agreed that there would be a qualifying Saturday competition in which 8 people would progress to sudden death knock-out over the coming weeks.

Over 150 people entered even with the weather being so severe, and the scoring was pretty good considering. I ran a fund raiser alongside the competition and was delighted that it raised over £350 for my chosen charity, Autism Together. They, like all charities, have suffered as their traditional fund raising events have had to be curtailed or modified, so cash flow has become a problem. Every little helps, as they say, so we at Wallasey will try to do our bit

Next week is looking to be a bit quieter on the golfing front, but that could all change in the blink of an eye. Fore!

Game face

 Another hectic week draws to a close and reaffirms the fact I am not as young as I think I am.I am definitely cutting back on golf commitments for the next few weeks.

The early part of the week saw me compete in the Spring meeting and end up a couple over par. It is a bit late for such an event but we are trying to squeeze as much as we can into the short time available to us. There then followed an embarrassing defeat 6 & 5 in the Senior Summer Knockout at the hands of ex Everton defender Derek Mountfield, and I followed up with a tired mid-table position on Wednesday in the Townley Walker Cup.

Today was the Stableford Challenge Cup and I was definitely challenged, but I can now look forward to four days off to get some energy back and rediscover my swing!!

That should see me in better shape for the Winter mixed league which has just kicked off.

Now all that was local. On Thursday I played Dean Wood near Wigan with my fellow 2020 Liverpool Captains. Dean Wood is another course I have not played but it was good to tick it off. The back nine in particular was a fun test and my partner from Ormskirk, and I recovered into third place, just outside the prizes.

Next week we play at Widnes, another new venue, and some of the girls are off to Royal Liverpool for lunch.

It is still all go but great fun. I also have a new golfing emoji. Might have overdone the botox though.

Technical Knock-out

This week has been gruelling. I have played five consecutive days, when I promised myself that three would be my maximum. The problem is previous Captains have said .Say yes to everything, so I am!!

It started on Tuesday with another scratch team competition, this time at Caldy. IPC Simon and I won our Captains challenge on the 18th hole and the scratch team won 3-0 to maintain their 100% record. A win against Heswall tomorrow will see them win the East Cheshire scratch league. Whether there will be a play-off against the West Cheshire Champions remains to be seem.

On Wednesday I played my knock-out match in the Senior section and managed to carve out a win 2 & 1. It was a bit disjointed as we were a two ball racing round the course and several 4 ball groups stood aside to allow us through. That then caused us both to rush and make a complete mess of our game startegy. Hey ho, I am into the quarter finals and await news of who my opponent will be.

Thursday saw a Wallasey team take on the Wirral Police in an annual fixture at the Club. I partnered the Wallasey chairman against the Captain of the Police and his colleague. We ran out winners again and were lucky with the golf and the fact that we were able to stay dry on the patio while eating out after match meal. I said a few words which I hope went down well, and left the taxi based players to have a few more tinctures.

I was fortunate enough to be invited to play at Prestbury on Friday with Steve Williams, who is a member there and at Wallasey. we ere joined by the Prestbury captain and the President of the Cheshire Union of Golf Clubs. Both organisations are celebrating their Centenary this year, but sadly have had to put everything on hold until 2021. the Sandiway club are in a similar position. We had a most enjoyable round, in which I played some of my most consistent golf for sometime, finally posting a nett 69 off the white tee's with a couple of gimmies, but Mr president parred the final hole to halve the match.

Saturday is best forgotten, as I parred the first and the 18th but what went on in  between was not the best. it is so frustrating how two days can be so different, but fatigue certainly played a part..

I was at the Club yesterday for my first official duty which was to present the cup to the winner of the Club Championship. This is a 36 hole gross tournament played in one day and the conditions were very, very testing. Dylan Thompson won with two rounds of 74 which was excellent golf on the day and after I got to say a few words somebody took a photo!

This week will be a bit quieter, the clubhouse may open and we can take another step down the path to normality.

'Royal' Bidston

This week was tinged with sadness by the passing of Marty, but I had golf commitments through the week which had to be honoured and I know he would have wished the same.

Monday started the week off with a matchplay against a team from Portal Golf Club in Cheshire, and, as often happens the Wallasey course inspired them to greatness and we were well beaten on the day. The club is part of the MacDonald hotel group, and they seem to be suffering from the Coronavirus knock-on with limited staff managing the course and the group reassessing their way forward. Let's hope all goes well for them.

The KO was sponsored by Linksbook, a golfing network community being developed by Milestone Events who were the organising Company behind the Virgin Atlantic golf league. That league has also been canned now by Virgin so one hopes that Linksbook will fill the void left by their pull out.

Tuesday saw a change in fortune as I and the immediate past Captain took on our opposite numbers from prenton golf club prior to a scratch match between the two Clubs. It has been a long standing tradition for the captians to lead out the teams, although their result does not count towards the scratch league result. I am pleased to report though that we won our match as did the scratch tem. They have now won two out of two and move on to Caldy golf club tonight.

On Wednesday my year group in the Liverpool Society of golf clubs met at Bidston golf club  and had a very enjoyable day playing their course. The wind kept everybody honest and the large turnout gave us the chance to meet up and chat as well as receive our year group shirts. They were described by FootJoy as athletic fit which amused those of us with the fuller figure. The bar and catering side of things was open so a very enjoyable day was had by all

That was all the golf for the week. I spent Thursday and Friday cutting down trees for number two daughter and then filling a skip.

I now have six rounds of golf in the next seven days, so stay tuned as fatigue is bound to kick in and that is always good for a story or two!!.



 

Marty Collins ( 1940-2020)

SWMBO lost her lovely father, Marty, on Thursday. He went with his family around him after degrading quite rapidly over the last few weeks.
Marty was a gentle giant. When I first met him he had long finished in the Liverpool docks, but it was there that his personality was formed. He was a hard worker and a hard player, part of a diminishing generation who lived life to the full and if you did not live life on the edge you were wasting space
.
The various dock boards across the Country were great rivals. They would hold weekend sporting events in a type of mini-Olympics. Marty would compete in the swimming and in open boat, skiff type rowing and regardless of who won, a vast amount of alcohol would be consumed.  They could be in Leith, Tilbury or Portsmouth, but everybody would clock in on time  the Monday such was the work life balance of the day!!

He was also a first aider and they too would travel away to London for 'conferences'. It was a very full and active social enviromment.

He taught his four children how to swim and was an instructor to many others, and he welcomed me into his family like another son. It was quite early in our friendship that I found out why they called him ' three gulps' Marty and we had to work out a shift pattern to keep up with his drinking in the pub!

He worked in Saudi Arabia after leaving Liverpool docks, as many of his colleagues did, and that allowed him and Winnie to buy a house in Formby village. They also enjoyed time together in Paris as a half way house due to the restrictions on him returning to England for tax reasons.

Apart from Win and his family, Liverpool FC was his first love. He was a long term season ticket holder and can still be seen behind the goal in old footage from the Sixties. He is there in his big joe90 glasses with a cigarette in his mouth. It has been his wish for 30 years to see Liverpool once more atop the football pyramid, and while he was in Istanbul and at other European finals nights, it was the Championship he craved for. It is with a tinge of sadness, therefore that he was not able to follow the final few games live, nor will he see the parade as and when it is scheduled.

He will leave a huge hole in the lives of those that knew him and he will be sadly missed. RIP Marty, you will never walk alone.

Ashes to Ashes

The first week as Captain has been one of sadness as today we buried our good friend John Williams. John was a stalwart of the senior section and had been for many years. He was nearly 87 years old and had recently become an honorary member. This title is bestowed when your age and membership years totals to some very high number!!

John was for many years a member of the dawn patrol, a group who would venture out early on a Sunday morning. In the past, all new members would be invited to play with them to allow them to meet existing members of the Club and so extend their social circle. While the dawn patrol name lives on, the new member tradition has fallen by the wayside in that respect.

John and his wife Sylvia were compulsive cruisers, usually with P & O. and I used to call him my cruise consultant as there was not a port of call that he could not name a beach to go to or places to see, or occasionally just recommend you stayed on the ship!! Unfortunately their last cruise was caught up in Coronavirus politics and nobody would let the ship dock so they had to sail home. John you will  be sorely missed.

My other main duty this week was to play out in front of the Scratch team against Bromborough, but bad weather forced our Captains four ball to be cancelled. I hope to have better luck at Prenton next week.

I managed to survive  three medal rounds without an increase in handicap, and just missing out on the places by virtue of a bad hole here and there. Tomorrow I will feel like I am a member of the dawn patrol myself as I tee off at 07:30 as part of my 'meet the members' initiative. That's another medal, will my luck hold I wonder? 

The year starts here

A few months later than planned, I have finally been invested as Captain of Wallasey golf club, along with the Lady Captain, and what a fine pair we make.

So hopefully there will now be some activity to be able to report, and a history which this blog can capture. We were voted into office via a Zoom AGM, which,  for those who have not yet discovered the medium, is an on-line conferencing facility. It has grown in popularity during the lockdown as family and friends have used it to keep in touch with each other.

We have been running our Council meetings using it but with social distancing rules being relaxed recently we could both be in the same room for the AGM and hence the photo opportunity.

My first duty was to drive to the Club and make sure my car fitted into the Captain's parking space!! I have never had my own parking space before as living in London for many years, I had to fight the other neighbours for a space in the road which was not under a tree, as the pigeons used to take delight in depositing on the cars overnight!

The first golf experience yesterday was interspersed with members wishing me good luck for a successful remainder of the year, and there is promise of a second term if I keep my nose clean during the first one!  The golf was actually quite pleasing albeit I look 7 to get off the 6th tee which rather scuppered my chances of posting a competitive score.

This coming week see's me playing in competitions on Monday and Wednesday, and sandwiched in between is an opportunity to play with my Bromborough year group captain as we go out for a thrash prior to the scratch team match between our clubs. I understand these matches used to be a bit of a bun fight afterwards, but nowadays the good amateur golfers are themselves fit athletes ( mostly) so they limit themselves to soft drinks. I think its up to the Captains to down the ale.

I am aiming to meet as many members as I can throughout my year, so have spread my Saturday tee times randomly in the next few weeks. Its a 07:30 tee off on Saturday, a time I had no idea existed!! Let's see how that goes and then I will be able to report back on the week and post what is scheduled in the future. The highlight I suspect will be a visit to 'Royal' Bidston.

Wheels falling off

With the Black Lives Matter campaign gathering momentum, I wondered how long it would be before Swing Low Sweet Chariot, one of the anthems of the England rugby team, came into the spotlight. I did know it was a spiritual slavery song, which seems to have first been associated with Martin Offiah, the England winger, when he played in the Middlesex Sevens in the 1970's.

Analysing pop music and its heritage, together with lyrics, is going to be a massive task if we really think that is the point at which we have arrived. Rugby is a multi-cultural game, sides are multi-racial and up until now nobody has complained about the song. That of course is not to say it is right to sing it but is it the tip of the ice-berg?

Scotland singing 'Flower of Scotland' with it's anti-English undertones never seemed to have worried us, and indeed I have sung it many times in Edinburgh after a game. Will I have to stop singing 'Bloody Great Fishes are Wales' to the tune of their national anthem, and what else will the Welsh be able to ask us to stick up our behind, if chariots are not available? We are in very strange times at the moment, and have to be very careful how sanitised we become.

Dominic Rabb was called out today  for making a personal comment about the 'take a knee' ritual and I have said before that it seems strange that the image of Black Lives Matter is a parody of the very action which caused the stirring of anger and frustration which we are experiencing at the moment. We cannot re-write history, oh that we could sometimes, so we need to ensure the changes we make are for the better, and not just knee jerk reactions (ouch!)

And they're off

Probably the title which should have been used in March, but this week saw me play my first round of golf with my fellow Liverpool Captains year group. We were hosted at Haydock Park, the golf club not the race course, and by socially distancingg we were able to enjoy a round of golf and a bit of a chat. It was chucking down when we finished so the fact we were outside meant the umbrella's could keep us 2 metres apart!!

Clearly the group have not done anything they were hoping to. All the dinners have been cancelled as have various AGM and overseas tour events. I will become Captain in a few weeks when we have a virtual AGM via Zoom, how times change. I wonder what the Captains of 120 years ago would have made of it?

As the clubhouse refit continues uninterrupted by members activities we should have a very pleasant facility available once we are able to open the bar and provide food. The terrace is now twice the size and there are wall to ceiling windows looking out over the course.

Competitions start on 4th July, suspect the pheasants will be getting nervous

Brown bread

Interesting times just took a new turn with the Black Lives Matter demonstrations. While the officer who was 'taking a knee' in the States was clearly in the wrong, and is paying the penalty, the two officers who looked on without offering any mitigation to the situation should be facing the same charges. They really should have stepped in.

The repercussions are rippling though our Country at the same rate as Coronavirus. The statue of Edward Colston tossed into the Avon,and  the removal of other statues from parts of London is almost like ethnic cleansing. History is history and it is important to have it around to learn from. What's right and what's wrong? What do we owe to the people who worked for the Royal African Company or slaving traffickers of the time? What part did they play in building our Country?

I went to the Sir John Cass College in London,  his is one such statue to be suggested for removal. I live in a house in Birkenhead populated by merchants of the time. Were they involved in the slave trade? Did the land owner, the  Earl of  Shrewsbury make money from the slave trade? In my family tree, Alexander Jemmett was a colonialist in Antigua. he was born in 1896 and married his cousin Phoebe. his father Francis and Uncle George could quite easily have been involved too.

Now, predominantly Labour councils are exploring ways of sanitising their cities by removing more statues and renaming roads. In Liverpool today there are moves afoot to rename Rodney Street and Penny Lane, the latter more associated with the Beatles than with the slave trade.

Whether or not  Keir Starmer will realise his knees shot in the papers this morning is not the  cleverest PR shot he will ever feature in remains to be seen. Pubs should be open next month when alcohol fuelled debate can once more help put the World to rights. I hope they have sufficient beer!!

Ooh! Aah! Cantona!

Goodness me, another month goes by and I hope all my readers are in good health as is their inner sanctum. The good weaher and some easing of lockdown should help us all in the next few weeks.

We have been continuing with routine tasks, and some not so routine. I had a big ash tree pollarded last week but SWMBO has indicated it went too far so i had to buy some gap fillers yesterday. I think i should have chopped it down ten years ago as the increased daylight and sunshine is just amazing. We do, however, have homeless people rehoused in the hotel over the road who are in residence full time, unlike normal hotel users so SWMBO is nervous about them overlooking us. Hopefully the new screen of trees will sort her concerns out while still allowing her sun tan time.

I am not sure how long they will stay there, some have already been removed due to antisocial behaviour, but the majority are fine. The girls in particular have those magpie type Liverpool screeching accents and probably don't need phones to talk to people several streets away but the lads seem happy tending the garden and doing other maintenance jobs around the place. Hopefully it will give some of them a sense of purpose and the ability to integrate more into society when the time comes for them to fend for themselves again.

They have a variety of deliveries arrive from Wirral council each day including their evening meal, bu the most humorous arrival is a car which draws up a little away from the hotel and always with its radio blasting out. The lady driver then dispenses 'essential medication' before going on her way. The neighbours have come to refer to it as the ice cream van!

Two of our grandchildren start back at school next week although they have been attending as key worker children for a couple of weeks anyway so they should be fine. Golf continues with four people able to play together, and the weather has been scorching so shorts have been the order of the day. Plans to open the terrace for food and drink service continues to be in the hands of the Government so we will see wat Boris has to say on the matter nearer the end of the month.

I have always been keen on Boris, but I have to confess that the Dominic Cummings saga has seen me less able to defend him as I have in the past. I compare it very much to Alex Ferguson defending |Eric Cantona when he judo kicked a Crystal Palace fan in the crowd. Ferguson was always a manager who defended his players in public but gave them the true story behind closed doors, The Cantona incident. however, was a case of defending the indefensible and I believe the Cummings affair was Boris's Cantona moment.

'How can I sack my advisor when he advises me not too!' is the story doing the rounds, but it is interesting that Cummings actions were supported by over 30% of the population who said they would have done the same thing if their child was in a similar position. Clearly a high proportion of people think he broke the lockdown and should have been sacked but he wasn't so we have to move on and see what the next major obstacle the government will need to overcome.

I am still waiting for constructive help and advise from people with either strong Labour allegiances, or Remoaners who still can't accept that that battle is lost albeit the war still rages on for a few more months. We need more positives to balance the 'got that wrong' storylines. Starmer and Burnham must be some pleased they don't have to make any decisions, but must be quite nervous of ever getting into government as the Conservatives have spent all the money a traditional Labour ruling party would have allocated. After new Labour we now have new Conservative.

So roll on the longest day in a few weeks time after which we will see if the virus is prone to escalate as a threat in colder weather. Let's hope  Pfizer are right when they say they might have a vaccine by October. After the Pfizer riser we could have the Corona Pkiller

Hope so!

The Malthusian Theory

With new cases of Coronavirus springing up in Wohan, conspiracy theories once more abound. One such is The Malthusian Theory of Population, a theory of exponential population growth and arithmetic food supply growth. Thomas Robert Malthus, an English cleric and scholar, published this theory in his 1798 writings, An Essay on the Principle of Population.
Malthus believed that through preventative checks and positive checks, the population would be controlled to balance the food supply with the population level. These checks would lead to the Malthusian catastrophe.

So, as the population grows at a faster rate than the food chain can sustain it, nature takes a hand mand every 100 or so years it provides some sort of challenge for civilisation to redress itself. We can think of Spanish flu as such an intervention, but given two major World Wars in the 1900's reduced the population somewhat, no other intervention was required until now. Interestingly the Coronavirus outbreak has been triggered by events in China, the most populous country in the World. So, is there value in such a theory or is it just co-incidental?

His catastrophe is linked to improved food production processes which mean the population thrives and by doing so needs more and more land to build on, so restricting the food supply chain on whose land the housing is built. Result, famine and disease. So there is food for thought, read his article, and the many comments which disprove it.

Golf starts up again tomorrow I must remember when my partner is teeing off, to stay alert!!!   Fore!

Damn United

Today Corid-19, the virus, has managed to achieve something that no referenda have been able to and that is to create four separate State's in the United Kingdom. I have much sympathy with the Northern Ireland assembly as they struggle with two neighbouring Countries each with a different approach. They are fortunate that they can focus on their common border colleagues while taking a 'watch and wait' approach to events across the Irish Sea.

I fail to have the same sympathy for The Crankie who is First Minister in Scotland. She spouts parrot fashion how she will not politicise the coronavirus challenge, and then does all she can to undermine the Prime Minister. If she is an intelligent person, then she should get the 'Be Alert' instruction, particularly as it is linked to a terror related status indication system too. If she is playing to the minority social networking trolls who have nothing but negative comments about everything, then she is succeeding. As I see it, her  no change strategy allows her to stand back and see how things go in England.  If it works as planned she can relax lockdown in Scotland and say she was just being cautious, if it goes pear shaped in England she can use the 'told you so' card. She is in a win-win situation and as she and Boris clearly do not get on, maybe even to the extent that they dislike each other with a passion, she can only come out of this smelling of roses, and without having to make any decisions herself.

The Welsh are dragged along in her slipstream somewhat although do seem to be prepared to take some individual decisions in isolation. The leader of the opposition, Kier Stammer just disagrees with most of what the government is doing without offering any alternatives, and must be pleased as punch that Labour lost the election.

The situation regarding children returning to school has also woken up the trade union movement who like nothing better than having a poke at a Conservative government. Press reports at the weekend indicated they were advising teachers not to provide lessons for absent pupil, not to do Zoom type lessons or talk one-to-one which them as it may expose them to pressure inconsistant with that normally experienced in the classroom. What a load of tosh!! They are now campaigning for the correct PPE for teahers when schools do re-conveen, which is right and proper, but there seems little in the way of help and assistance being offered as to how to make the classroom equally a safe and happy place to return to.

Boris has long been an admirer of Sir Winston Churchill. Churchill must be thinking how lucky he was to only be confronted by the Nazi's and Lord Haw Haw during the Second World War. He had no social media criticising his every move, he had no television and had total censorship of the press. Boris has none of that. He has a population of  Remainers he has upset  together with Labour, Lib Dem and other opposition party members who are happy to wade in while having no  responsibility for anything important themselves. He has the Press putting their spin on things and a gullible proportion of the population soaking it up as true.

It's a tough time for all of us, but nobody would want to be in Boris's shoe's at the moment, that's for sure. We can all be alert and start to allow the Country to open up a small amount, step too far though and we will all be back where we started and none of us want that.

The wrong trousers

Six weeks gone and still maintaining my sanity, although the last week has been a bit tense. SWMBO caught a bug, whether COVID-19 or something else is hard to say. She could not get out of bed for three days yet had no fever or cough. Three days in bed is almost unheard of, even on our honeymoon!! Ironically she has hardly been out of the house as I do the shopping. we have maybe had four walks round the local area, so to be on the safe side we booked a test for her

We were sent to Haydock Park race course, a 45 minute trip from The Wirral and on arrival we were instructed by q cards where to go and what to do, all very efficient. SWMBO had to self administer the swab and now three days later the test has come back clear. We still have no idea what she had as I suspect the test was taken too long into the process to have confirmed COVID-19, but she is now back cleaning, ironing and dusting so must be much better. She is also back in the pool. Clearly it is worrying when one so close could be at risk but fortunately admissions and deaths on the Wirral are falling along with the rest of the regions figures. I do note, however, that the North West is now the highest ranked in the hospitalisation table even ahead of London.

I read at the weekend that historians are encouraging people to keep a diary to document our activities during these almost unique times. I know you can't really say almost unique, but it fitted the flow......

To aid these historians and those in later years this is what I got up to yesterday.

I have  a strict clothing process in operation at home. My good clothes stay good until they degrade in quality. They are then moved to the golfing cupboard where  trousers in particular  are utilised on the links. After further degradation they are consigned to the gardening and decorating  box after which they get thrown out. Polo shirts tend to follow the same route or occasionally get sold on e-bay or at car boot sales. The time was right, I thought, for a clear out.

Gosh, I wish I hadn't done it!! This is my inventory of  'good' clothes:

• 16 pairs of trousers, 6 of which are NWT
• 19 jumpers
• 23 shirts
• 22 ties (why?)
• 32 polo shirts
• 3 blazers
• 7 jackets
• 2 suits
• 1 dinner suite with extra trousers
• 4 dress shirts
• 7 weatherproof tops
• 8 base layers
• 4 waterproof trousers and 
• 3 pairs of golf trousers

Oh yes, I also have a three-quarter length red coat which I have never worn!!

I have managed to identify four polo shirts and two weatherproof tops which can go on e-bay. One pair of golf trousers and a couple of polo shirts are destined for the gardening box and I have thrown away  some threadbare jumpers and a few old shirts. I still seem to have a few too many jackets and trousers but just can't bear to part with some old favourites, like black moleskin trousers, a pair of Levi's and a very comfortable denim jacket which I hardly wear but just might in the future!!

There is no car boot sale schedule this Summer so I guess we will see what I wear once the golf season kicks back in, and I can have another clear out after that. I am sure I don't need half what I have got, but as with toilet paper, you never know when hoarding may come in handy!!

Home home on the range

There is talk of golf courses being allowed to open maybe as early as the middle of May which will be a great escape valve for alot of people who play, and their partners who don't. That would be almost two months in lockdown without the joy of seeing a wayward drive land on the beach at Wallasey, or vanish into the beautiful but deadly gorse which lurks not far off the fairway.

So what to do without access to the course which will allow the swing to function reasonably well? My solution has been to invest in a simulator to allow me to wack my ball into the net at the end of the garden, but, instead of just thinking 'that was fairly straight' or 'that went miles' the computer software is able to show me.

Now I could put one of SWMBO's best white sheets in the net and fix my PC up to a projector and really think I am on the range, but I am happy with the results being fed to the PC beside me. So far the simulator is confirming that I am a pretty ordinary golfer, but it is highlighting  few thinks I can work on.

I have tried other simulators and not really got on with them, but so far this one seems to have roughly the right length shots for most clubs, and its the direction and club speed which I need to work on. It has a bag mapping option to allow me to see how far each club goes. This then identified gaps in yardage or overlaps. It also has a wedge matrix to allow me to see which lofted clubs are best for me to carry.

With the weather changing though I am not sure how many more sessions I have got to fix a few faults, or fix the holes appearing in the net!!

Elsewhere in Weathers Towers we are without hot water at the moment as it seems the emersion heater has developed a short circuit which keeps blowing the breaker. How to find an electrician or plumber in the current climate will be interesting. At least I have now finished the outdoor portfolio of jobs although SWMBO has identified a few more. The Council tips look likely to open next week so there will be no excuse for not trimming a few trees and bushes. With luck my tree surgeon will also be back at work and able to take some of the bigger limbs down for me.

If it does rain for a few days I can catch up on phone calls and 2020 Captains administration as well as starting the list of indoor activities. I am not waiting on any e-bay purchases as I have no money left to fritter away after the simulator outlay, but if interested, my mystery purchase from China was a chandelier of dubious design and value. One for the car boot cupboard I suspect.

So that's the sum of it at the moment, things are becoming a little more mundane but if it keeps us safe and healthy then we have to knuckle down and toe the party line. When it does open again the golf course will be in magnificent condition and the clubhouse is undergoing a make-over so we wait to see the end result. Fore!

Week and politics

Well week four in the big brother house is drawing to a close and the housemates are getting restless. In the  big house in London by the river, the occupants are now fair game,  targets for everything and anything that could go wrong. That hindsight talent which many press reporters seem to have in spades is certainly coming in useful. Would they like the job of managing the Country out of this? No way. Would the Labour party, Lib Dems or Nosher from Up North want the job? Definitely not. Lets accept we are in a bit of a pickle, look around us and see most of Europe is too, and try to pull together to get through it. Nobody is handling the crisis perfectly and the whole World all need the things we need so baton down the hatches and try to think of some interesting questions the Government spokesperson can answer instead of coming out with the same old rhetoric every night.

So that's the politics bit dealt with, now how has the week been? Sadly one of the ex-captain's of the golf club, Eric Roberts,  died a while ago and his funeral was on Thursday. He was my first sponsor for captaincy nomination so I am saddened that we will not be around to see me in action. We gave him as good a send off as we were able as he was applauded on his route to the cemetery, hopefully there will be the opportunity to toast his passing once we are able to socially connect again.

I am close to exhausting my outdoor job list and have just finished repointing the patio and realigning a few boundary bricks. I think it looks pretty good. I have managed to fix the electrical fault in the kitchen so normal service has resumed there, and I have orders out for spare parts for the shower, the vacuum cleaner and the bedside light. That has once more meant I have been trawling through e-bay to procure most of it.

Regular readers will be aware that I have no will power where random spending is concerned. I used to do most of it at auctions but they have dried up on the Wirral with the best two closing down. The ones which still exist are not able to trade at the moment so I am once more weakening and spending speculatively on-line. This week though has taken a bad turn. I am now starting to buy unseen job lots, be they returned goods, bulk purchases of various Chinese imports, or potentially fake t-shirts or sunglasses. The first consignment is on its way to me so I shall report back on whether I have made a killing, or, probably, not, later in the week.

It would be more sensible for me to just have a declutter and sell my stuff on e-bay, but I just can't decide which of my 32 polo shirts I don't need any more, or the seven weatherproof jackets, or four pairs of waterproof trousers. Ah, talking of which I have just purchased another two pairs of cotton slacks which I am convinced I need for golf!! I really should utilise the one in,  one out principal or else get a bigger closet!  This lockdown is a strange bedfellow,  I  just get so excited when the door bell goes these days. Now why did I not buy shares in Paypal!

All you need is love

Out go SWMBO and I for our occasional walk together, not because we don't want to go out walking together but because SWMBO is usually on the treadmill and in the pool for an hour or so first thing, and the last thing I need after a morning in the garden is a walk!!
Nonetheless, I really should be on the static bike doing some cardio as gardening is only a bit of weight training and more anaerobic than aerobic.

Anyway, today we were off into Noctorum and round the perimeter of Wirral Golf Club. Occasionally we will walk across the course as there are a couple of public footpaths which transgress it, but today we did the longer route. Wirral golf course used to be called Wirral Ladies but they dropped the Ladies from the title about a year or so ago. They thought it was putting new gentlemen members off as the CLub had been open for many years. Personally I would have stuck with the tradition but it was up to the members and they saw fit tot change it.

The course is a bit nervous at the moment as Birkenhead School have submitted planning permission to build 35 houses on their number 2 sports field which borders the course. If it is approved then it is likely that the golf club will be forced into erecting high fences at certain points to ensure no stray golf balls do damage to the new houses. That said, in all the time I ran along the border of the course near the sports field, I never found one golf ball!

But back to our walk. Noctorum is full of very large elegant houses ( and a pretty large council estate) and one of these houses is very much in the style of a French châteaux. It has a floodlit tennis court and a swimming pool block, and a folly. The folly, however, is only wheeled out now and again for the passing foot traffic to enjoy.

Quite what the story behind the Fab Four in Oxton is, I have no idea, but there they are full size and about to go for a stroll themselves!

Ironically, Westminster Council have taken advantage of the reduced footfall caused by the Coronavirus lockdown to repaint the zebra crossing in Abbey Road, made famous as the cover to The Beatles album of 1969. Maybe the folly should be rotated 90 degrees to emulate them crossing the road, as best it can. A zebra crossing might look a bit strange outside this house though.

I have changed the image as the original was blocked, presumably for copyright reasons. It was workmen painting some white lines for goodness sake!!

 In a Sliding Doors moment, I would have been in Atlanta today playing  golf at the Atlanta Athletics Club. Monday and Tuesday just past me and my chum Steve would have done the practise days at The Masters in Augusta, and would have been flying home tomorrow as I had our eldest son's wedding on Sunday in Liverpool. That's all by the bye at the moment, so it's on with lockdown through the Easter weekend, more gardening, gym work and cake. Take care everybody, and stay safe.

Jesus saves....

....and Chivers heads in the rebound was the first iteration of this well worked slogan that I saw. It was in the garden of a church in Streatham. Football and footballers now seem to be having their moment in our lockdown life, as debate rages about whether they are doing the right thing, or indeed, anything.

The debate got started when some high profile Premier League clubs started putting their non-playing staff on furlough leave during the Corvid-19 crisis which allows the government to pay 80% of their salary. People considered this the wrong use of the furlough programme when their players were earning thousands, if not millions,  a week, and a small paycut for them could enable the Clubs to keep their non-playing staff on full pay. Even the Minister of State for Health waded in and fuelled the fire by indicating that players should do more to help.

Enter the pantomime villain who is Gordon Taylor, secretary of the Professional Footballers Association, and in all but name, the footballers shop steward. Taylor has been subject to all sorts of allegations and investigations regarding his ethical approach to his working practises and amid the latest scrutiny he agreed he would step down. That was nearly twelve months ago!

So here he is now with the bit between his teeth and an opportunity to kick the Government right where it hurts. 'If my players take a 30% pay cut that equates to over £500m' he said, 'that's 300m in taxes for the NHS'. Great rhetoric, Gordon, but where are the figures to back that up? While off shore Company and Switz bank accounts may be something HMLR have been trying to close down for years, there is a feeling in the wider community that footballers are overpaid and lack that intellectual quality which makes them valued members of society.

Wayne Rooney, not usually famed for his journalistic talents, now writes a column in The Times which he is using to try to proliferate  the average footballers case for greater regard at the same time as Kyle Walker, the England right back, decides that social isolation might be more tolerable if he shares it with a couple of hookers. Which part of isolation don't you understand Kyle?

This financial challenge for the Premier League will run and run. Will there be breach of contract recriminations? Will players leave on free transfers? Will some clubs make huge losses and go to the wall? Will Manchester City win their financial fair play appeal as they are now able to balance their books in a more favourable manner? Do I care, does anybody care? Probably not.

That said, I and others are missing watching sport on the television, and after the success of the virtual Grand National on Saturday I have to think that EA-Sports, the makers of FIFA, and the Premier League statistical partner could produce virtual matches to  allow the outstanding fixtures to be played out, final tables to be produced and cups and medals to be awarded. This could even cascade down the football pyramid such that promotion and relegation can be decided at all football league levels.

Somebody somewhere should be able to introduce a high tech solution but sometimes I just think football organisations are too insular and in the case of Gordon Taylor need to justify their own existence and look after number 1.  It's a great idea, but it  won't happen

The Spring Dinner that went wrong

Last night I should have been hosting the annual Spring Dinner at Wallasey golf club. I would have been kitted out in my red coat as would have been a number of colleague captains from neighbouring clubs. Our new chairman was gracious enough to agree to propose the toast to our guests, and the Royal Liverpool golf club captain would have given the response. It is always a very enjoyable night, and I have no doubt last night would have been equally so. I had even lined up a Doctor Frank Stableford look-alike to attend for photo opportunities before dinner.

Sadly though we are all confined to barracks, and while Have I Got News For You was able to conduct proceedings via Zoom, I suspect trying to run a dinner on the same basis would have proved to be difficult. That said though can you imagine 80 people signing in, their wives or partners serving the same dish to everybody and wine being taken. It could have been revolutionary for the Visionaries.

So we carry on with hopefully everybody still self isolating. The hot weather theat was forecast has not arrived on the Wirral so hopefully people will not mob New Brighton and Hoylake beach. It is in the South of the Country where people must be more careful and look after their neighbours.

Today we also awoke to a new Labour party leader, Sir Kier Starmer. I try not to get political on this blog, and had hoped that the words in his opening speech would allow me to continue that trend. I will support the Government and ask the tricky questions when needed , he said. excellent I thought, only to read today that already he is using the press to highlight serious errors the Government have made over the control of the virus. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, and not being part of the decision process does allow you to comment in a way the people in control cannot, but it is so disappointing that he feels he has to wade in now without even waiting until his scheduled meeting later in the week with the PM.

I understand Starmer was the head of the CPS when evidence of Jimmy Saville's misdemeanours were presented to him and Starmer reached the conclusion that there was insufficient evidence to proceed. Hindsight again rearing it's head given what happened after Saville died.

How lucky Churchill was during the Second World War that he did not have social media to contend with. How he was able to control or censor fake or bad news to ensure the mood of the Country remained bouyant is something that the current PM has absolutely no chance of doing.

I wonder what the Queen has to say about it all when she addresses the Nation later this evening!

Groundhog Day

I am not sure why I have used that title as many other days would be closer its meaning than today. Yes, I hav ejust bought my third game of Totopoly from the net, at a really silly price so I am now able to make two world class sets for resale and the best of the rest for the home version, all with lead horses with four legs.

I have been asked what is so special about the lead horses. Well they are proper horses which look a lot like the  CGI versions which were taking part in the virtual Grand National this afternoon. Wasn't that a great idea and for it to be executed as well as it was is a credit to ITV and their technical animation and heuristics team. Red Rum won the Champion of Champions race on the line,  and Potters Corner won the 'proper' race with TigerRoll a gallant fourth, but who knows what would have happened if ASO had not fallen at the second last?

But back to Totopoly. Waddingtons launched the game on the back of the success of Monopoly in the late 1930's. The lead horses were a key feature of the game, but the Second World War intervened so Waddingtons were denied supplies of lead and so reverted to one dimensional paper horses in wooden blocks until supplies of suitable metals were restored. They then had one dimensional metal horses in blocks before introducing one dimensional metal horses with cast bases, which then continued into the future.

The problem with the lead horses was that in the hands of children the legs broke, the jockeys snapped off and the tails got damaged. Finding a good set still intact is, therefore, a joy. Ironically it took me nearly two years to find a good set on e-bay, I have bought the second and third set within a week and for a combined price less than the first set. Watch this space to see what I can turn them round for.

Now on to today's little adventure.  I had planned to replace some security bulbs in our lights, however, when isolating the circuit in the fuse box, the alarm went off and I could not get the blighter to switch off. I know how annoying it is when a neighbours alarm goes off so I prayed for the 20 minute limit to kick in. No such luck. After about 3 hours I managed to find a security engineer to come and fix the problem. A fuse had gone on the main circuit board of the alarm, and the standby battery was not fit for purpose. anyway he sorted it out for me and all is peae and light once more.

The knock on problem is that we now have no power in the kitchen, save for one rogue plug which is powered independent of the ring main. It seems that the circuit breaker for the other plugs is faulty. Our sparks was happy to come over to fix it, but at the moment we can get by and I don't want him making unnecessary journeys when with an extension lead we can just about cope.

So no DIY, and no gardening as by the time the alarm was fixed I had run out of enthusiasm for scarifying  the thatch out of the lawn. I can do that tomorrow.

We weakened and watch a film on Netflix last night, The Hustlers, don't bother it was rubbish so we switched over to Masterchef. I don't know why we watch that either as I have hardly heard of any of the ingredients they use, I just enjoy the torture they go through when something goes wrong!!

It's is due to be warm and sunny tomorrow, lets hope everybody is sensible about their social spacing should they be tempted to venture out. Stay safe everybody and lets hope the reductions shown in the trend analysis today continue.

Forbearance

When things are as tough as they are at the moment and people are confined to barracks, it is important to be considerate to each other. Now the initial panic is over, there is no need to stock pile food, road rage should be a thing of the past, given there are hardly any vehicles on the road in our part of the Country, and people can adhere to the 2 metre separation guidelines as there is loads of space in our parks and on our footpaths and coastal borders.

The boys in blue are keeping a watchful eye on  Birkenhead Park walkers and riders so at the moment The Wirral is doing OK.

That is more than can be said for the people who find they are out of work, or the back street entrepreneurs who find their once profitable cottage industries blown away in the blink of an eyelid. It has also hit multinationals and all those companies and organisations who sit in between, certainly in size terms.

Martin Lewis used the definition of forbearance to try to get us all to understand the struggle that business has at the moment, and it is useful to take that on board. My mate and I had paid a lot of money to a golf travel agent to go to Augusta for the Masters golf in April. When the event was postponed and then rescheduled, we asked for our money back. Rightly or wrongly , that was not one of the options they gave us, so rather than fight a battle over what the definition of 'force majeure'  is, we have given them the slack they need and said we will rebook for 2021. They are now fighting battles to repatriate other golfers they have sent on holiday and,  I suspect , their cash flow to ensure they are still in business next year.

We have a milkman and he has been delivering to us for years. I have just paid in advance for the next three weeks to help his cash flow and hopefully see him continue the service he provides to us and to allow him to keep his milko's employed.

I am also philanthropic in a small way towards my ex-rugby club. I'm in it as a business venture, but have today let them know that there will be no further payments due to me in 2020. That may help their cash flow somewhat as they will suddenly have nil income from rugby for 6 weeks and social functions and catering for probably three months. The grass will need to be cut a few times, but major outgoings like rent, rates  and utility  bills  still need to be sourced.

I have a small part to play at the golf club as a result of the closure of all courses for the time being, so the lockdown provides opportunity. Having just completed the painting project, we now have to redress the room. I have discovered the sofa springs are out of life so that forces me to participate in my favourite lockdown game, buy on e-bay. So far I have brought one new golf club, a pre-war Totopoly game with proper lead horses with four legs (fans of horse racing games will know why this excites me), an extra five horses of the same structure for display purposes, and I am now in prime position to win a Mont Blanc pen for a steal as it is listed in the wrong category!!!

Unfortunately the sale of my mothers old flat has had to be put on hold as a person in the chain is an NHS worker and does not feel she has the bandwidth to handle a house move just yet, but hopefully that will proceed in due course. We shall see.

So time to rehang the curtains plug the TV back in and resume some sort of  normal like, although we have not really missed the TV these last few weeks, I wonder if we might be right in the middle of a permanent life style change. Husbands and wives talking to each other, now there's a side effect I didn't anticipate!

Bat Out of Hell

Who would have thought an experimental dish from a soup kitchen on the other side of the World could create such problems, not just of the population involved, but for the whole World. What started out as a potential crisis for China has now escalated into a World pandemic the likes of which we have not known for 100 years. Imagine the difference in population numbers and the difference in scientific analysis when Spanish flu swept throuh Europe. This corona virus takes no store by technological advances and at the moment is blasting all away in its path.  We anticipate it will peak in May on the Wirral.

It is hard to imagine that only two weeks ago I was at Twickenham watching England beat Wales in my 49th season of such pilgrimages. The night before we went to see Magic Goes Wrong at the Vaudeville Theatre in The Strand. Even Penn and Teller can't make this virus just disappear, and the theatre stands empty now for who knows how long.

Golf, and the excitement of becoming Wallasey captain, is really no more now than an illusion. The senior Seniors are self isolated, all the prestigious events are cancelled and we wonder what is next for us and what we have done to deserve it. The Masters in Augusta to which I was going,  is postponed, and as I type Paul Heaton and Jacqui Abbott have announced they are postponing their arena tour. We were going to that too.

What does one do while self isolating, we aren;t 30 years old any more when the options would be singularly more attractive!! At the moment I am decorating the living room in anticipation of an event for the ex-Captains wives which will not now take place! I can at least give some attention to my piano playing and try to se if by the end of it people will be able to recognise some of my tunes.

My wardrobe needs some attention, how many polo shirts does a man need? and the garden is starting to bloom so that can give me the excuse to potter out of doors, should the golf course itself ever have to close. 

Will shopping on-line become the only option, what will all the DPD and Hermes delivery drivers do, and who will deliver all the e-bay and Amazon stuff if they are confined to barracks?

Boris Johnson has been handed the poison chalice, and inspired by his hero, Winston Churchill, he is being stoic and trying to get things done. It is disappointing that opposition members and retired scientists and medics are publicly challenging the approach, when all the Country needs is one face to the Nation. Have your grumbles behind closed doors, not on Newsnight and Question Time.

The Country will survive, particularly as it is the youngsters who seem to have the greatest immunity to the virus. It's the complete opposite of  World War II in which all the future captains of industry were the ones cut down in their prime. At the moment it's those who have lived their lives, but would quite like a bit more please, who are in the firing line.

Good luck everybody, stay safe.

Welling up

I had no idea that there were two Well Lane addresses within less than a mile of each other on the Wirral. It was in one such address I was due to have my golf captain photograph taken today. The poor man in Tranmere had no idea what I was talking about when I went knocking on his door. I just find it hard to imagine that I am the only person ever to make the same mistake. No, there was no ' you want the Well Lane up the road, mate' just a 'what photographs have you come to take' query. As Fiona Richmond would say, I made my excuses and left.

The correct Well Lane address when I found it was a house tucked away in Higher Beddington and is home to Colin Beringham, professional photographer. On entering the property one is greeted by a huge picture of Bruce Grobbelaar, the ex-Plymouth Argyle goalkeeper, in a very swish DJ. On the stairs is a portrait of Ken Dodd and a three quarter length John Major adorns the parlour. Colin was very welcoming and had taken the precaution of caging his dogs prior to our arrival. Good move.

After the usual preliminary discussions I was ushered into the changing room to first get ready for the blazer shots. These have been traditionally used by the Club for press release and other such routine matters, although their use does seem to have been somewhat reduced in recent years, maybe this year will see an upturn. I decided on two versions, one with the Club tie and another with the Senior section tie. It's their decision whether they take, one or both, or neither.

We then moved onto the main event of the day, the red coat shot. In the studio Colin has a range of chairs, stools, tables, half desks and other props with which to frame the perfect shot. we must have taken twenty shots for consideration but probably fifty all together.

Finally he took a three quarter of me in the style of John Major which I shall keep for my own records.

Once I was changed back into civi's we went through the selection process, aided by the current Captain who had accompanyed me there as is the tradition. I found a quick and slick process to be the best and we soon had our four portraits selected and they are now to go under the Photoshop process to make me even more good looking than I naturally am. All will be revealed after the Annual General Meeting at the end of March when my portrait will hang proudly in the foyer of the Club.

As long  as people don't think it's Jack Rowell we should be OK!!

2d back on the bottle

What a strange weekend just gone. It always seems to be not quite right when the rugby international matches are played on a Sunday, but we embrace the home games anyway. Paris is a dead loss as the whole City seems to shut down on Sundays and as the rugby federation are only tenants in the Stade Francais, they get to play at the ridiculous times the landlords dictate. Rome is a bit better so we have been known to go over there for a Sunday game, but the other venues, forget it. That said we don't go to Cardiff these days fullstop!!

So Twickenham weekend was shifted a day, and numbers were down considerably. Just two of us for the Saturday night pre-match drinks and five for the game itself. I was amazed to read how positiive the reports of the England performance were. Ireland were dreadful  and like Scotland before, they exectuted schoolboy errors to gift England a substancial lead. So in my mind England have played three games and discounting the two pieces of magic from Jonny May late in the game against France, England have created nothing through thier own imagination or ingenuilty. I can't help thinking that The All Blacks would have put 50 points on both sides easily.

Tuilangi disappeared after about 30 minutes, Farrell has no imagination or flair and both scrum halves are on borrowed time. I fear the Welsh will find us out.

The apres match was a very good craic and I have returned home in one piece, but recieved an interesting e-mail from one of our S-Club members who has just had 6 weeks in Australia and New Zealand. He and his wife have decided to instigate a self imposed 3 week isolation period as they have been near to countries which are part of the Corona virus outbreak. This means he will not be with us for the Wales game for fear of being a carrier. It's a very noble gesture and gets them out of baby sitting duty for a while, so we might try that one ourselves.

So we are now long on wales tickets and hotel rooms, somethoing which has never been heard of before.

Gilets jaunes

A series of weekends away see me today in Hamburg for number 2 son's stag celebration. There are 16 of us and I am oldest by a good 25 years. Consequently I need to pace myself. Yesterday was random drinking with a visit to a mega beer kellar with stein after stein on offer. I seemed to drink them for hours with no visible reduction in the amount of beer in the glass!!

Today we have been curling and then had a bar all to ourselves for what are called the Proll Olympics. This consists of a series of pub games unlike any you could imagine. Popping balloons with staple guns, flipping pencils like you would beer mats and stopping spinning coins are mixed in with giant jenga, giant pick-a-stick and spoof. To add continuity there was also table curling to play.

Sadly the stag missed most of this as he had a quiet few hours in bed after becoming tired and emotional earlier in the afternoon.

Last weekend we had our traditional 6 Nations trip away. Normally we take in France or Italy but the France game was on a Sunday, when Paris is closed, and Italy fishes with my mother-in-law 80th birthday. We,therefore, decided to go to Bordeaux to watch Scotland v England and Ireland v Wales in a bar. It all worked really well except for the yellow vests deciding to have a mini riot on the Saturday. We were in the old town which they avoided for fear of getting hemmed in by the police, but the damage we saw on the way home must have been heart breaking for the businesses affected. The glaziers had a good revenue stream though.

We also visited St Emilion, another World Heritage site to add to our list and touched a bottle of 1948 Petrus Pomerol listed at €9000. Maybe another time!!!

Proper 6 Nations next weekend lets hope for some better weather!

Beauty Parade

It used to be said that you had travelled well North of London if you passed a Morrison's supermarket. It's not so these days, but I felt something similar about Liverpool as I travelled through Norris Green with SWMBO last night.

We were going to Huyton and Prescott golf club for the new captains introduction as part of our inauguration into the Liverpool Society of Golf Club Captains. There are 27 clubs in the society and each new captain was accompanied by their current (2019) captain and their lady.

We had pre-order drinks, a pre-match handshake and then a team photo, one for the men and one for their ladies. We then sat down for a three course dinner and a couple of speeches after which each couple was announced and stood to take plaudits of their peers.

That was the easy part. After dinner the ladies were shepherded into one room and the gents into another. We had to appoint a secretary and treasurer, a name for the year group and a first informal meeting date. Those that know me will not be surprised that I was appointed secretary, and as 2020 captains, being called the visionaries should not be a surprise either. The optics got a few votes in second place. We will all convene as a group informally in Childwall towards the end of April. Childwall incidentally used the same clubhouse refurb company as Wallasey have engaged, and were very happy with the results.

The whole evening was funded by the 2019 captains, called The Eagles, to whom we were very grateful. The golf club staff were excellent and the clubhouse was a hidden gem, being the manor house of the old Hurst Estate owned and occupied by the Atherton family. I look forward to returning to play the course during my year in office.

So it now feels like the year has begun and I can see clearly now the way ahead!!!

The next time I see many of my year group will be at the Spring dinner when 6 or 7 captains are invited to attend as our guests. For most it will be the first time they will be wearing their red coats for which I had a fitting this morning. As a precursor to that dinner I look forward to an informal round of golf with the incoming captain of Royal Liverpool, who will be the visiting guest speaker on the night.

The Italian Job

We are half way through our short break in Barbados and up to now it has been anything but dull! The usual room rearrangement was interesting as initially one couple had a suite and the other had the spare box room but they were on different floors. The hotel then came up with a cunning plan to put us in a double suite with a sea view on the floor below. That sounded a good plan until we came back from breakfast find the door would not open. This was when it became necessary to paraphrase Michael Caine as angle grinders and power drills came to the fore. That didn't work so a ladder was brought in so the maintenance crew could get until the rooms via the balcony. After four hours we were back in the room, holiday back on track.

We were fortunate that Tuesday was a Bank Holiday here so the horse racing was moved accordingly. As a result of our room problems we we were guests of the hotel in their VIP tent. Two winners later and we were lined up for a free day. One jockey almost did a Frankie Dettori and had six of the eight winners. People in the known picket up an 800-1 accumulator in the quad forecast.

As can happen here, it dumped down with rain yesterday but it looks set fair for a bit of sea fishing tomorrow. No golf planned while Apes Hill is closed but the positive news is that it should reopen during 2021. Lets hope it is still affordable.

Coincidences still appear regularly. On this holiday I popped into the pavilion at Dover cricket club and there on the wall amongst pictures of famous West Indian cricketers was a presentation plaque from Old Parkonians, the local club to us in Oxton. They went in 1993. Continues to be a small world.

Full metal jacket

Well it's red actually, and every member of the Society of Liverpool Golf Captains has one. The tradition stems from the days when golfers played on common land and wore a red jacket to warn non-golfers that small hard spherical objects were flying around in their area. A bit like the armed forces raising red flags when they are having live firing practise in Aldershot or on Salisbury Plain. Some clubs still insist that their members wear a red outer garment when they are playing, in keeping with tradition.

It is said that when Bobby Jones, the eminent amateur golfer, was playing in and around Wallasey in the 1930's the image of the red jackets stayed with him so when he designed Augusta National and was looking for a suitable image for that Club, he thought of those red jackets. Red was associated in the Southern USA with the English during the civil war, so he opted for Green which was more acceptable being linked as it was to the Confederate army.

Anyway, today I went for my fitting at the local tailor in Hamilton Square, Birkenhead. The tailor, Mr Marchini,  was in the middle of making a red jacket for the incoming captain of another local club but was plaeased to pause and measure me up. I opted out of the trousers so was spared the question regarding which way I dress!!

The grandson of the tailor used to go to school with our youngest grandaughter, Ava, and they used to go to his house for home made pizza nights, after school. It really is a very small world.

So in a few weeks I will be back for a fitting and then it will be displayed in public at the Spring dinner in early April. The first person to say 'which circus do you belong to' will almost get a laugh. Ho, ho ho!